Dam Beaver Podcast
News and History commentary. Plugs for local comedy and theater, in the Beaver Dam WI Area.
Dam Beaver Podcast
Episode 62
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We're back! More Revolution! Amy has more irrelevant news. Sports is slow this week.
It's the damn fever podcast.
SPEAKER_04Good evening, everybody. We're back. Finally. Oh my god, we've been trying. We've been trying. We get together for three. We had COVID. We had family stuff. Hello! God, I can't even remember. Did we even we got together once in January? Didn't we? No, we didn't. No, I don't think so. We got together at Christmas.
SPEAKER_01No, we got together a couple like a month ago or so. Oh, yeah. Maybe you ever posted it. No, I did, I posted it.
SPEAKER_03I got into it. We've not released.
SPEAKER_02I've been working on stuff too. Oh yeah, that was our best one ever.
SPEAKER_04I would get uh a friend of ours had a big birthday a little while back. Everybody got to be uh together for a boy. That was something.
SPEAKER_02That was that was really cool.
SPEAKER_04There was a uh a lot of people that cut loose that I was not expecting to uh cut loose, if you will. Uh yeah uh Rick, your your wife uh had a ball. Oh she she she had a ball.
SPEAKER_01I thought she had a great time.
SPEAKER_04My girlfriend had a great time. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_01That's all right.
SPEAKER_04I keep her, I'm always gonna call her your wife. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_02We're domestic partners.
SPEAKER_04Yes, I'll I'll try to that's how we go on. And now all of our listeners know. Thanks to Dan.
SPEAKER_02Good job.
SPEAKER_04We live in sin somewhat so and we've been working, I got my uh what are you are you guys any working on any projects or anything? You're just living life just trying to because I got I'm doing my Shakespeare abridged revised.
SPEAKER_02Working on a song. We got working on an original song with uh with a band.
SPEAKER_01Wow, that's cool.
SPEAKER_04Isn't there some kind of thing like contest you're trying to get into?
SPEAKER_02Wasn't there something not with that? No, um writing a play for Wackfesty show. It's called what? Waxfest? Waxfest? Wax, Wisconsin area Association of Area Community Theaters. Oh, okay. Wisconsin Association of Community Theaters. That's what it is. Yes. This is a 10-minute play. It's a one act, one act festival. It's an hour, less than an hour.
SPEAKER_04Yes. I've been working. Our clinic is moving. Really? So this whole week has just been it's been rough because we well, we got three parts. We got the front end, we got the middle where I work, and then the back end where the doctors work. And no neither three sections have been fully staffed for like four years. When one section gets fully staffed, the other section is not. And then when like when we were fully staffed like six months ago, everything was going great in the center, but they couldn't get them in fast enough because they were short in the front. And now we got two doctors, so whenever they do get in, they zoom through because we got two great doctors now. But now the now the middle is cut, we're short by like three people in the middle. So whenever they get in, I'm like bust them a my trying to get everybody through before so I can leave, you know, as close to five as possible. So we're moving to a new clinic, and that should be nice because we got more we do a lot of drug screens where I work, so there's a lot of there's gonna be more there's gonna be like eight bathrooms now, and then there's two man baths, and there's two you know employee bathrooms for the girls. It's gonna be great. You know I'm not sure if I'm gonna spend a half hour in the bathroom and no one can find me just for a little while.
SPEAKER_02I'm not sure if your facility is the one I went to in medicine to get a drug test, but man. Um they should do the P test first and not last.
SPEAKER_04Oh no, we always do the P test I always go to last because I would have done the P. I would have done it.
SPEAKER_02Okay, because they made me do the physical part first. Was it? They made me do like a physical like dexterity thing first. Oh yeah, we do that, but normally we would do the first, and I had to drink water beforehand, and I'm like, ma'am, I I gotta pee. I gotta go now, bad. I was swimming, man.
SPEAKER_04I would have we would have we would have done the drug.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they're like, you're gonna have to hold it. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_04That would have been that's what that's what you sounded like too. I'm excited for the new Batman movie to come out. Oh my gosh. It looks pretty rough. Interesting.
SPEAKER_02Is that who is it?
SPEAKER_04Isn't his face like symmetrically perfect or something like that?
SPEAKER_01I don't think he's that hot.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I don't think he's not a good thing.
SPEAKER_04I just know I just know that it's symmetrically perfect. Yeah, I like Vampire's buttons. And then the penguin played by uh what's his name? The guy with the Oh god. I can't think of his. No, no, no, no. Alright. Oh no, it was uh the the penguin.
unknownGod dang it.
SPEAKER_04Uh he's all he's got all this makeup on now, and he plays the penguin Batman. What are you guys just talking about? Uh seeing the new Batman. We have a new Batman. Colin Farrell. Colin Farrell. Colin Farrell. He's he's doing a great job when I saw him the trailer.
SPEAKER_01Because he's kind of hot.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and they they they made him look he's playing the penguin. You know, not an actual, you know, not like the Danny DeVito penguin, but like he's he did a really good job.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04DeVito?
SPEAKER_01Devito did it. It was fabulous. He's a creepy little penguin guy.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Colin Farrell, dude. Colin Fagrell, I don't know. He's he can actually.
SPEAKER_01Isn't he an Irish guy? I don't know.
SPEAKER_04He's pretty Irish, but he can't. I mean nice fella. He's nice. He's a nice lad. No, he could have a temper on it, but I understand that he's a very good actor.
SPEAKER_01He's mellow datoy, but dark hair and his mmm, he's got some pretty nice features.
SPEAKER_04We got a lot of Scots in the play, too. Scotland is across the river. And they roll their R's at you a lot.
SPEAKER_01You're ours.
SPEAKER_02You're ours.
SPEAKER_01Technically not swearing.
SPEAKER_02What's Haggis?
SPEAKER_01Haggis. It's like uh it's kind of like uh kind of like a brat, but uh really intestine.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah. Never mind. That's rolling.
SPEAKER_01Hegas. You gotta try it though. It's not bad actually. Just don't think of what it is.
SPEAKER_02Too late. I I heard it's intestines, right?
SPEAKER_01That's what it is, right? It's like um like menudo.
SPEAKER_02I can never eat menudo.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I thought you were talking about the thing. I was like you're talking about the group. No, I wouldn't eat the group either.
SPEAKER_02No. They're so good, I want to eat them. No, not not that. No, the menudo, the dish.
SPEAKER_01Oh no, sorry. What what was that in my body?
SPEAKER_02Continue. It's a cow intestine. Like a delicacy. My dad's favorite dish in in the world. And it smells the high heaven when you boil it. If you can imagine you know, intestine.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Well, you boil it out, I guess.
SPEAKER_04I don't know, but cows are so they got the heartfells, I'm just saying.
SPEAKER_02Hey. They do taste good. The meat tastes good, I think.
SPEAKER_04I'm just saying. Well, I think it's time to come to the final part of the revolution. This has been going on for over a year. I think it's time to end it. I have to do this one thing. We're gonna get to it right now. Where were we? Are you ready? Well, here we go.
SPEAKER_01I know it was towards the end.
SPEAKER_04Previously. Um, the revolution.
SPEAKER_01Quick recap.
SPEAKER_04All right. So Lincoln, uh, that not Abraham Lincoln, but uh lost the City. He lost in the South. Uh Southern colonies have a month-long siege of Charleston. Charleston was the richest spot at them in America at the time. Uh, even though their backs were up against the wall when the British Army moved south, they could not uh bear firing upon the people because if they destroyed the city, they would destroy all the cool stuff that went tobacco and all that stuff like that. So uh yeah, yeah, they they did they did they did a good job of of taking the South. So now the South has been kind of taken. Uh so here we are, May uh 1780. Here we go. The War of Independence now enters its fourth year, longer than anyone had imagined. Okay, battle after battle. Uh uh either neither side is closer to winning. And in the north, where the revolution began, the war has uh the war's kind of come to a deadlock. It's it's stopped. But in the south, here's where stuff starts to get a little juicy. The uh Lincoln, he retired, uh Benjamin Lincoln. Uh the their victory in uh Charleston, South Carolina, the British uh Grand Uh, they start getting rights to some of these colonies and establishing their authority all across it now. There's a problem though, because they're entering the South, and South people were already fighting with the North, right? Because they were trying, they thought that they were taking their land, and now the British is coming and trying to take their land, and now they don't like that either. So now the British have made the South to work with a little bit more with the North, right? Yeah. By moving south, they're moving into an area they could hoped they could finally restore British authority and put some of the loyalists to the to the uh Britain there. And uh their goal was to try to isolate the the rebellion, and they're gonna they assumed that most of the colonists, given a chance, would be loyalists, right? So for four years, the British have tried to find those colonists loyal to the crown, and they just they found that the America was really divided, and now they're trying to find these loyalists and get them on their side and finally take over, right? So to help with this part, uh to go through the the countryside and just you know basically beat people up for the most part to get them to go to their side. The British sent one of their most ambitious officers, Mr. Colonel Bannister Charlton. All right. Now, Charlton is known for uh for quick cavalry, uh quick hits, and he's also known for no restraint, and he's also a bit of a dandy, it says he likes to dress up, but he also a bit of a dandy. He's a bit of a dandy, is how it reads. And uh, but he also fights, it says, like a uh Tasmanian devil. Yes. So the British will not only uh raise and train a loyalist militia, that's their goal, to keep the peace in the South, they will hunt down rebels and destroy and destroy them. And no one is better suited to that test than Tarleton. So, a hundred miles from the coast, he closes in on the remains of the Continental Army in retreat from their defeat at Charleston. Remember, they lost to Charleston. And with great speed and agility, Tarleton goes and uh with 350 Continentals under his command uh of uh Abraham Buford, they go to Waxhaw's, which is a city where they retreated to, and he just went and he killed them all. Oh uh men, women, children. Okay, it's a painful loss for the Americans. They turn and defeat uh and another kind of victory. So they try they try to uh do the propaganda front, and they use this to say, hey, now we hate the British now instead of the North. So the South are just saying, hey, just leave us alone. So Waxhaws will be remembered and used as a battle cry against the British. So instead of getting these loyalists, they messed up again. So Bannister Tarleton, uh, he receives a reprimand from his superiors, but they do little else to reign him in. They know that he's known as the bloody bear and continues deeper into the backcountry where the British are about to dig themselves into an even bigger hole, right? So now we're skipping ahead here a little bit. Uh we're gonna go to uh there's a uh most part of the countries and most people have been able to stay out of way, but now they have to make a choice now. You know, they're just standing aside and let the soldiers fight, but now they're gonna have to they're gonna have to get involved here, and they don't care for that. So uh Sir Henry Clinton, who is the commander now of the British forces, remember there's they've gone through a few of these now. Uh Clinton should have he should have known better. In 1776, the British issued nearly the same document to New Jersey about a loyalist settlement and that backfired. So they tried it again, it didn't work, all right? Um, so now there's this huge horness nest stirred up in the South, unleashing a fight that looks like uh less of a resolution and more like a civil war, right? The British Army moves into the Carolina backcountry, having declared a misguided proclamation and it didn't work, and they can't figure out who's their friend and who's their enemy. Now, late in late June 1780, British commander, Sir Henry Clinton, has lived in Charleston for a month now. All right, now he's the big guy in charge, and he can sense trouble brewing in the wilderness, and he doesn't want to go down there because he his response is to leave for New York to for New York and turn the southern command over to a different officer so he doesn't have to worry about it. So guess who he calls now to take over in the South? Uh General Charles Cornwallis, who was originally in charge.
SPEAKER_02Cornwallis.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, he's going to return to the colonies, but he's a changed man. He has been in England to bury his wife. His wife passed away. So now with their passing, Cornwallis uh can only think of escaping the memories and going back to the one place he can hope uh will be uh a place to help his grief. And he is devastated and like many men throws himself back into his work, and it was uh uh fighting the war which helped him out. So Cornwallis is gonna also find out that America has changed. So he's gonna be in the south. He's often been fighting up in north, and the Britishes are on the ground moving further and further into unknown territory, uh, with wild country making up most of the remote farms, and you know, with it's got a whole bunch of rivalries. So they're gonna have some problems. So those who might be loyalists, like everyone in the backcountry, uh, frontier, they harbor grudges with the British and they just don't understand. Uh there's all these land disputes. Uh they still tried poisoning the territory. It was just awful. There's a uh a soldier that was on uh The Patriot that Mel Gibson. There's a movie called The Patriot that Mel Gibson is in. Yes. The guy who's the dandy in that, the uh part of the dragoons, he's also part of this. Uh the guy who played uh uh Malfoy's father in uh Harry Potter. Yeah, yeah. He's uh just plays a cruel. Oh yeah, he's really good. He's really good. Yeah, there's a uh guy named David Fanning uh uh with the Patriots. He's a struggling farmer, he's been robbed of everything. Uh he had two years uh backed by a group claiming to be Patriots, and now they're under British rule, and he devotes himself to killing British people, and he helps do this militia in the backcountry. Now, uh Patriots, they start to join this fray, men like Thomas Sumter, a former Continental soldier, take up arms uh to battle anybody who's a loyalist now, as well as Britain. So, because they know who the loyalists are, so they're gonna go start getting them, okay? So the blood starts to flow, it's kind of a revenge, so you got British, and it's all it's just a huge mess. And in short, it's a civil war, and the entire strategy was failing for Cornwall Cornwallis, and the British is producing not peace and order, but chaos and retribution. God, so this poor guy. So, what happened to Cornwallis in the South is a long and bloody guerrilla war that had at the time it was extremely dangerous for anyone to reveal that they were loyalists, so they shut up. And this was not the warfare that they were supposed to be conducting. Uh, it was the way that wars were fought, though, in the southern backcountry. There was no way to get a home. You know how they use that big line of people in the movies? They can't do this here because everybody's spread out, so they have to do this guerrilla warfare and they hate it because they're snobby British. All right. So Corn Wallace is uh uh he's also is a man of devote, uh he has no self-doubt. Okay, he really becomes convinced that he can lick the remainder of the southern uh of this continental army, so he engages uh essentially in a headlong rush to complete the annihilation of this force, all right. From his headquarters in New Jersey now, George Washington realizes he must respond. All right, he prepares to fortify the army in the South with new troops and more importantly with the new commander. Okay, but the man he wants to lead the Continental Army, get this, this is awesome, is snubbed by Congress, all right. The guy who's running the place, Congress doesn't want, all right. Instead, uh Congress will send their man, General Horatio Gates, the hero of Saratorga. Horatio Gates. Who he is not, because remember it was Benedict Arnold, all right? Yep to head up the Southern campaign. Now, George Washington is furious, and they have chosen one of his greatest rivals. And he is a general, and he can he considers this person inferior. Now, but now for now, Washington can't do anything to stop this. He knows it's gonna be a disaster. And in the Carolinas, civil order crumbles as the Patriots and loyaltists battle each other. Uh Congress scrambles to form uh and equip the Southern Army. Uh uh against the advice of Washington, they send Horatio Gates. Now, this is so awesome. So Gates, they consider him the Gates of uh hero of the Saratoga, which he's not, three years earlier, uh, when he defeated General John Burgoyne. And there are whispers, and some think that he's not the this this big some say he stole credit, which he did, uh, from Bennington Arnold and uh Daniel Morgan. Now, Gates is he he ignores his doubters and and he has this huge ambitions and he wants to be the commander-in-chief of the American army, and whoever is victorious now uh would emerge as the leader of the new nation, and there had to be a new ruler, some kind of ruler, and he wanted to be it. Uh and he had if he hadn't been that ambitious, he wouldn't be so foolish. That they they say right, right. All right. So Gates takes charge of an army in a dire state. All right. He will inherit 1,400 soldiers still reeling from defeats at Charleston and Wax Sauce. Uh and Gates, uh, he has an army without strength and a military chest without money, and in barren swamplands of South Carolina, Gates' hope of professional soldiers slowly starves. He doesn't have anything. They are short of provisions, and they are on the the they are on they are have almost no will to fight. So Gates does little to alleviate their conditions, okay? Uh his soldiers, many of whom have been in the army since the onset, uh, turned even more bitter. All right. So Gates is going to get some relief. Uh patriot, uh, a patriot militia who's been fighting their own wars in the backcountry now turn out to fight alongside the army. And what they lack in experience, they make up for in spirit, and the militia are itching to take a shot at the British. And General Cates thinks that he can do this now, all right? So the Continential Soldiers are now in the minority. Gates will mount his campaign against uh against Cornwallis, whether they're ready or not. Now, he's been Gates has been stung by the assertions that he doesn't really deserve credit for the victory at Saratoga, and he sees an opportunity to silence his critics and show them once and for all that he is in fact the best and most experienced battlefield commander, and that he can beat the British.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04All right.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_04This is so on August 16th, are you ready? Uh I'm ready. Two army, two armies stumbled up against each other in Camden, South Carolina. Each side sets up for battle. 5,000 British and 3,000 uh Patriots. General Gates sends his militia in front where they get their first taste by the best trained army in the world. His aut his audacity, though, he makes a serious tactical error. Gates places the militia on the left side of his line.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_04All right, now, which is a position that they're ill-prepared for. Now, the British Army will always put its best units to the right of the line, which is a place of honor for from the British perspective, right? So the British have their best regiments facing off against the weakest and the most ill-prepared American regiments. All right. Good idea. So now he uh the British is led by none other than Tarleton himself, the butcher of Waxhaws, the guy I just talked about. Now he leads a fierce bayonet charge into the militia. All right. So imagine you standing there watching this line of red coming at you, 18 inches of steel. Fear fuels confusion along the battlefield. They are fighting a losing battle. Almost immediately, the militia panic and break and run. Oh, yeah, that's me. Nope. Get this. And this is the only sit this is the only time in my research that I hear uh a quote from Alexander Hamilton. You ready? Alexander Hamilton. The general who came south to to uh uh to gain glory now takes off on his horse as fast as possible and as far as it will carry him. What began as a rather courageous venture now turns into a fight for his life, and he rides 200 miles all the way back to Hillsborough without stopping, and becomes and becomes the butt of every mean-spirited joke in the Continental Army for the next two years.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's uh tail between your legs.
SPEAKER_04He went into a complete panic, and he said the situation. So Alexander Hamilton praised him with this quote. He said, His his ride to safety, he said, is quite a remarkable feat for a man of his age. The Battle of Camden scars Gates' reputation forever, and he'll go down as a coward, finally. Uh, and it's similarly, it tarnishes the army and particularly the militia. Now in New Jersey, George Washington soon receives news of the defeat in Camden. Washington feared the worst when Congress appointed Horatio Gates. He basically, in the nicest way, flips them the bird. And Gates will face a court martial. Now, there is more urgent concern who will now lead Washington's Southern Army. All right, after Gates uh Backlett Camden, Washington is finally allowed to send the man that he wants to follow. And of course, he goes to Major uh Nathaniel Green. Now you don't hear much about Green because he is uh he's very modest and he's very much like uh Washington in that sense. He's uh he's a very trusted subordinate, uh truly one of America's great generals that nobody knows. So Washington says if he's shot in battle and can no longer take command, he wants Nathaniel Green to take over. All right. So Green will travel from his New England home and take on a uh formidable command only to find an army ravaged and dispirited. All right. Continental General, there are only 800 uh in his army that he deems are fit for duty. And the rest, uh Green reports, are literally naked and starving, cold with hunger. And a letter uh uh after letter, Green beseeches the 13 colonies for supplies and troops to no effect, and he begins to fear uh oh god, it's just awful. He begins to fear uh a mutiny. All right. Uh so Green and the Southern Army have all been abandoned. Uh he will attempt to supply his troops through local sources, uh, but there's a threat more urgent than starvation. Uh Cornwallis is coming. All right. Green needs a strategy and a miracle to keep his army from total destruction. Uh Fortune Green finds is now Daniel Morgan, Colonel Daniel Morgan, one of the most courageous and unusual offers uh officers in the Army have. Uh Morgan is cloaked in mystery and he never speaks of his past, apparently. At the age of 17, he appears uh as part of the British Army during the French and Indian War, and uh he's kind of a scrapper, all right? And by nature, he's a fighter and carries scars from every brawl and knockdown, uh, including, you know, 500 lashes for punching his superior officers in the early days. Wow. And from then on, Morgan becomes the stuff a patriot legend, all right? He's a rough-necked frontiersman, vulgar, hard-drinking, hard-fighting man, it says. And he's kind of almost uh the stuff that fiction is made of here. So, Daniel Morgan would have never been, he would have never made general in the British Army. So Morgan moves ahead because of his ability and great example uh of uh dealing with mediocracy, and uh, which proves that you don't have to be worn into the gentry to be an officer. All right, you just have to have balls. So, by the time Morgan reaches the South, his reputation and his role in in major battles like like Saratoga, uh Kroger gains the respect of the Patriots and resentment of the enemy, and no one is better suited to fight the rough Southern uh than Morgan. All right, now here's what happens. So Cornwallis and Green and uh Kroger, what was his name? Yeah, no, Morgan. Morgan, and then also the the dandy guy are going to fight each other. All four of these armies.
SPEAKER_03The dandy.
SPEAKER_04The dandy fella. As if on cue, you ready? Listen to these. So Green and Morgan, they're going to uh take off in separate paths, all right? Yep. Uh, and Green to the southeast and Morgan to the southwest. And he wants to, he can't take them on because there's too many British, right? So Morgan and Green decide to split off their army, and as if on Q, Cornwallis takes the bait and he splits his army, sending the infamous Charles uh Charlton after Morgan, all right. So the two scrappers are gonna go at it while he himself pursues Green. So you got Cornwallis and Green, and then Charlton and Morgan going after each other. You ready? So the four flying armies, listen to this. The prey and predators move through some of the roughest terrain on the eastern seaboard, each following their own uh uh their own will to win. Uh Cornwallis and Green, Charlton and Morgan, four ambition. On the fringes of the armies, the skirmish, confirming over and over again. They start, they keep they keep running after each other, confirming over and over again the proximity of each other's troops. Yet Green and Morgan, with their lighter armies, move faster, avoiding any major battle. Instead, instead, they draw the British deeper into the backcountry, further from supply lines. Green and Cornwallis, the British commander, grows more and more frustrated uh with each mile of the rough terrain. The farther Green goes in, the more intent Cornwallis is on catching him. Now, he's gonna chase Nathaniel Green all around the Carolinas, trying to gain that decision, that that decisive battle, right? Knowing that it's better to engage Cornwallis' on armies uh on Cornwallis' terms, it's not going to, he's not gonna let him catch up to him, right? So Green is always able to say one small uh step ahead of him. Now, Daniel Morgan is dealing with his own nemesis. Uh Bannister Tarl Tarl Tarleton is uh is very ferocious uh and starts beating his regiment to get them to move faster. Morgan knows that he can't outrun them for long. So up north, far from the swamps of the south, the war for independence now looks very, very steady, okay? Oh right. So uh Washington uh hasn't seen a battle in three years now. So he's just been sitting up there. He's kind of stuck. Uh uh the French is is coming into town. I'm not gonna read that. So the French slips with the biggest. I want to get to this battle. Yeah, he hasn't done much. So North America, they don't quite French Navy. Oh, so the French Navy's coming to help. That's what this is saying. I don't care. Yes, we know. There's seven of them in there. We get it. We understand. All right, here we are. January 16th, South Carolina, let's get back to this battle. So Daniel Morgan can no longer avoid uh confronting Tarleton's forces. Now he must prepare to fight. On the eve of battle, Morgan uh has this visit with his troops. He says, out of the 600 men, more than half of them are militia, and some of our untrained forces. Morgan's challenge is to get them to engage and not fucking run away. Excuse me. I'm getting pissed as he faces the most grueling battle of his life. Okay, so here's what he says. You ready? Morgan says this just hold up your head, boys, and when you run to your homes, how the old folks will bless you for your galleon conduct, Daniel Morgan. Now, Morgan has great rapport with his troops. He loves to choke with them and talk with them. Uh, and they just find him a very nice officer. Uh but they yeah. Uh he tells them, hey, pretty soon you're gonna be home and kiss your girlfriends. It says actually.
SPEAKER_03They're all gonna die.
SPEAKER_04Amy! Wow, man.
SPEAKER_01Sorry. All right, be real, man.
SPEAKER_04All right, January 6th, 17th. I'm gonna get through this whole damn thing I want to see.
SPEAKER_01Do it!
SPEAKER_04Here we go. In a mild winter morning, the battle takes shape on a field known as cow pens. Not these names suck.
SPEAKER_03What suck balls?
SPEAKER_04I would like to apologize to uh La Fever's mother.
SPEAKER_03I know.
SPEAKER_04Here Morgan puts into play here, Morgan puts into play his own strategy, one of the most inventive of the war and most timely. Up to that point in war, nobody has figured out how to use the militia in a formal battle. They weren't trained to meet British regulars in a formal regiment. Regiment. Uh, you know what I'm saying? So Morgan, he figures it out. He says, like uh like others before, Morgan puts his militia out front, uh, the first line to meet uh Charleston, uh, and then charging the British soldiers. Only this time he tells them to fire just two shots, just a quick volley, and then fall back. All right. Against the onslaught of the British uh charge, they do just that. When the British sees this, they think that they have essentially caused a route of the militia forces who are breaking from the field. They think that they're running away. So they pursue them in a headlong rush and find themselves facing a very well-directed volley of fires from Morgan regulars, the more trained ones. And the result is predictor uh predictable for Tarleton, uh, the Legion Bannister Tarleton, the aggressive and ambitious young officer, drives right into Morgan's trap. The Continentals reply with an alarming force. British infantry scatter and retreat. Tarleton will try to push them again, but within an hour, the battle is lost. And Tarleton has chased Morgan all across the South. To end here, defeated by the rough and tumble American cowpens. Talk about a conflict of styles. Holy smack!
SPEAKER_02Oh, no kidding.
SPEAKER_04You have this arrogant, uh dashing, uh cruel uh British officer, young guy Daniel uh uh and then young guy Daniel Morgan, and they're now both playing for keeps. And uh Morgan uh beats the crap out of Charlton, it says he just beats the tar out of him. And most of the entire British detachment at Cowpins is killed, uh, captured or wounded. Uh and this time uh Tannister uh Bannister Tarleton, after getting the crappy of it, finally escapes and he was seen fleeing the field. And he escapes and he joins uh Cornwallis' army thirsting for revenge, all right? And uh Daniel Morgan has planned out and strategized, and he outlet his counterpart and he has transformed the militia at their very moment of need. Uh and now he's got all these brawlers helping him out, and now uh Morgan spends a little more time for Nathaniel Green. The chase is still on, all right? Cornwallis is closing in, and with Charleston again by his side, Charlton again by uh they will come at uh Green with everything they've got, and the war in the South will go on as bloody and as vicious as never, but the stakes are rising uh from the south to the north and across the Atlantic Ocean. Everyone is asking the same question how and when is this damn war going to end? That is the end. We got through that whole thing. Wow. And one thing. So now, next week, we finally figure out how this ends. Uh, for real, for real. So excellent. I'm kind of looking forward to it. Because I would like to see. I haven't read ahead. I would love to find out how this ends.
SPEAKER_02Didn't Mel Gibson play Corn Wallace? What's that? Didn't Mel Gibson play Cornwallis? I don't think so.
SPEAKER_04I think he plays something else.
SPEAKER_02What did he play in uh Braveheart? Oh William Wallace. That's William Wallace. Oh, that was Scottish. Scotland. That's a bit Scotland. William Wallace. Okay. Wrong Wallace.
SPEAKER_04Oh boy. I tell you. It was a good show.
SPEAKER_02Wow, that's the revolution.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Almost done. We're almost done.
SPEAKER_02Amy totally rocks.
SPEAKER_04She absolutely did.
SPEAKER_01Am I up?
SPEAKER_02No. What gave it away?
SPEAKER_04What do you think?
SPEAKER_01Let me get to my sum. I'm just getting leaving. Woo!
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_04You're not there yet? You had all this time to not listen and prepare.
SPEAKER_01I was I was very, very invested in your story.
SPEAKER_04She was. Did you see it? I did see it. Good stuff. I love seeing stupid people get their come up and so I think everybody does a little bit that they like to see.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Some people eat a big shit burger.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I think the store again. I know.
SPEAKER_04I am not sure. I'm innocent.
SPEAKER_01I guess first we're just gonna start out with this corpse flower deal.
SPEAKER_04The corpse flower, what's that?
SPEAKER_01So it's a big humongous. It's kind of ugly flower. And it blooms and it stinks.
SPEAKER_04Oh, the smelly one.
SPEAKER_01Three feet wide.
SPEAKER_04Like I hear you can only have it outside, right? Yeah. Oh God, that's ugly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04It looks really bad.
SPEAKER_01I I don't like looking at it because it's like, you know, when you have the whole thing.
SPEAKER_02Read the story and then you don't have to look at it. Are you folks seeing this thing? Wow.
SPEAKER_01Anyway, it's really big and it really stinks, and uh I'm quickly getting through it. I'm just kidding. Um I don't know.
SPEAKER_04What does it say? Is it blooming?
SPEAKER_01It only blooms like once a year or something like that. Woman races to say the world's largest, stinkiest flower.
SPEAKER_04Oh, she wants to save it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I suppose they I don't know, if they stink, people get rid of them like weeds.
SPEAKER_02Don't they have that at uh like one of the domes in Milwaukee?
SPEAKER_01They might.
SPEAKER_02I think they do. In its own room, I hope.
SPEAKER_01That one that blooms like what every seven years or something like that.
SPEAKER_02People come from all around to smell it.
SPEAKER_01I don't think is it that?
SPEAKER_02I think it's a death flower. I'm pretty sure. Death corpse. Corpse? What is it? Corpse. It's all the same. Smelly flower.
SPEAKER_01It's kind of true.
SPEAKER_02Smelly butt flower.
SPEAKER_01Smelly butt flower. Thinking about or talking about butts. Um there's been a scientific study as to why cats love to sit in boxes.
SPEAKER_04Well duh.
SPEAKER_01Most millennial cat owners will be familiar with the phrase. If it fits, it's I sit.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I I'm not familiar with that. What is that? You don't have a cats. No.
SPEAKER_01Cats who attempt you have never had a seen a cat where they try and sit in a teeny tiny box or squeeze into the tiny little why is that? Um because they just love it.
SPEAKER_04It makes them feel protected.
SPEAKER_01It makes them feel like, yeah, they're all safe and enclosed, but I mean that's really tight. Some of those cats get stuck in like plastic bottles and stuff. Yeah. And then they run around and bang their head on stuff because they can't.
SPEAKER_04It's it's a little out of hand. Yeah, that's a little crazy.
SPEAKER_01Um yeah, apparently there's somebody gave money to do a scientific study on the case.
SPEAKER_04Wow, my cats. I I'd hear I heard that if you boxes on to say that if you make a little tape of a square in the floor, they like to go sit in it. No kidding. That's weird. The the the thing goes on, uh apparently, yeah, they they just seem to want to go.
SPEAKER_01Like they you know, they'll sit in luggage and they sit in I don't know.
SPEAKER_04Right. But I mean if you tape, if you make a tape square, like if you just tape the corners in, it looks like they'll just go and sit in it.
SPEAKER_02My mom's cat will uh I would like to try that.
SPEAKER_04I know Winky likes to cram herself in them.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. My mom's cat. We can never find her my mom's cat because it's always like stuffed in behind some towels. We thought she lost it.
SPEAKER_01Apparently, just stick a put some tape on the floor and just sit in the box.
SPEAKER_02Right in the middle, right in the stay. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01She won't leave it.
SPEAKER_02Interesting.
SPEAKER_01Uh moving on. Does penile frostbite happen often in winter sports? The answer is Yes.
SPEAKER_04Um, sure. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. In men's cross-country skier competing in the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing. Suffered crossbite to his penis during Saturday's competition.
SPEAKER_02Oh no.
SPEAKER_01From Finland battled brutal temperatures and strong winds for over an hour racing the shortened men's 50 kilometer mass.
SPEAKER_04Isn't that the one where the is that the one where they shoot and then they also cross country? Like, isn't that a biathlon or something like that?
SPEAKER_01This just said cross-country stuff. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_02Oh, so it's a full cross-country thing. Yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_01This is the second time it happened in his career to the same guy. Second time? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So just get rid of it. Yeah, there's no reason. Oh, I'm sure it's not pretty.
SPEAKER_04You don't want to go all half-cocked.
SPEAKER_02So that's bad.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Thank you. That's it. Home run.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. Nothing. Don't they have down like protectors down there?
SPEAKER_01Well, no, because they try to keep it as it's lightweight.
SPEAKER_02Down is lightweight. Smooth and rather have that than. Jeez.
SPEAKER_01How's that possible?
SPEAKER_04That's like the that's like the temperature gauge, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01Well, that's they wear those tight suits for aerodynamics. So it's not like a thing of boxers and a heating warm well, you know, like hand warmers down there.
SPEAKER_04If that's one of the things that that's the side effect, I would consider not doing that sport. Ever. I mean, there's just there's no I mean, I don't care if you get a gold medal or not. No.
SPEAKER_01I would not how does it freeze that, but not like your fingers?
SPEAKER_02Like there you can wear protection. Oh, well, I mean I guess they could wear protection.
SPEAKER_01Do they not wear? I suppose that it's like a wetsuit. They probably just don't even hire things under it.
SPEAKER_02I'd I'd put a little bit of down in there. I'd stuff it under there.
SPEAKER_01Where's the scientific study for that?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_01They'll study cats.
SPEAKER_02But they won't study your schlong for you in the winter. Some kind of, you know, some.
SPEAKER_01So we can run different ways of keeping it not to get frostbite.
SPEAKER_04That's like bummer. They should take matters into their own hands and just keep it warm.
SPEAKER_01Are you gonna be a hand warmer, Dan?
SPEAKER_03Put a hand warmer down there.
SPEAKER_01Somebody's gotta make some kind of little sock or something.
SPEAKER_02The hand warmer. Instead of handing hot coffee out, yeah.
SPEAKER_01We just figured that out.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Hand warmer. Is that a person or an item? We don't know.
SPEAKER_01That's why you have to have the scientific test. No. That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_04Nope.
SPEAKER_03What else, Amy's?
SPEAKER_01Okay, next, moving on. Everybody's big thing about the 10,000 steps a day. Thinking that's the best, like you gotta hit 10,000 steps.
SPEAKER_04I just heard that that was not not that, nope.
SPEAKER_01They're saying you could go as low as seven thousand, and it's kind of just the same amount of mindset for age.
SPEAKER_02I've hit 10,000 by just working, and I'm exhausted. There's no fun in that.
SPEAKER_01There's no fun in that.
SPEAKER_04I can't see any reason in being tired all the time. That's why I don't, you know. No, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I just don't do the steps. No. Uh moving on. Um, apparently uh Hyundai and Kia tell their owners of nearly 500,000 vehicles to park outside due to their fire risk. Oh good. They've been starting on fire, so they want you to not have it in your garage so your house doesn't burn down.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Okay. Didn't that didn't the wasn't the Ford Pinto like that? If you just dinged the mumber, it would just blow up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. S uh 500,000 cars in SUVs in the United States to park outside and away from buildings due to possible defect that can cause the fi vehicles to spontaneous uh spontaneously catch fire even when they're not running. What are you just sitting there? Just sitting there apart. Spontaneously.
SPEAKER_02Don't buy that piece of crazy.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_04Wow, talk about a firebird, huh? I'm just saying.
SPEAKER_02You know that you know why they have defrosters on the back of those windows?
SPEAKER_01Did you just say firebird?
SPEAKER_02I did.
SPEAKER_04But nobody got it.
SPEAKER_01With or without the topic.
SPEAKER_04Oh, firebird! Yeah.
SPEAKER_01He's trying to be funny.
SPEAKER_04But Hyundai. I am funny. I'll tell you. I'm I'm batting a thousand years.
SPEAKER_01It was a firebird, like a pontiak. Pontiac wire bird, yeah. I had a boyfriend once who had the teeth. Yeah. Or he had like the fucking elkin or whatever on the bar.
SPEAKER_02Right. They always leaked those teeth.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. You can see those at a gay bar. So that's sometimes insane.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. Okay. Uh moving on.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, they also had Olympics, a quick Olympic thing. Um with the COVID and all that in China, they had robotic um noodle dispensers. So, like you know how they eat noodles and you know, Asian noodles. Oh, for edibles? They had robots that served the people food and noodles.
SPEAKER_02Wow. Yeah. I was thinking swimming noodles instead of able.
SPEAKER_01Yes, instead of having a staff. It was pretty soon all those people will be out of jazz.
SPEAKER_02Well, here comes, you know, McDonald's already.
SPEAKER_01Like, oh, we'll just replace it.
SPEAKER_02You don't even order food at with people anymore at McDonald's.
SPEAKER_01Did you know that? Yeah, like, well, apparently, yeah, like there's like a kiosk. Yeah, you can order from kiosk, but then people were touching the screen with their gross paws and leaving gross things all over.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, just when technology moved forward, COVID said no. No.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, and it was like, Wow, man. The sea of balls, those kids' things, those are nasty too. Oh, yeah, the ball curl.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, wait a minute, it's not clean anymore. Yeah, it's not a movie.
SPEAKER_01It's there's nasty shit. I used to I used to work at Hardy's and I was in high school, and oh my god, it I was like, I'm not touching.
SPEAKER_04In those sea of balls? Did you work? Did you work did you work to Hardy's drive-thru?
SPEAKER_01No. It was in the back where the fun was.
SPEAKER_04Could you do that that was the one? Oh god. So you didn't have to say, Welcome to Hardy's. Can I help you?
SPEAKER_01Nope.
SPEAKER_04What do you want?
SPEAKER_01No, I did not.
SPEAKER_04Did you ever work at Fast Food, Rick? Did you work at Fast Food? No. I worked at a McDonald's for two weeks. Two weeks. It was my first job ever. I think it was 16, 15, going on 16 now. I was the custodian. And I and I had to be there at six o'clock in the morning on a Saturday. And I couldn't take it. It was just awesome.
SPEAKER_02That would be tough.
SPEAKER_04That would suck. And then I worked at Taco Johns for a month. Ooh, Taco Johns.
SPEAKER_01Not in the food service business.
SPEAKER_04Nope.
unknownNope.
SPEAKER_02I can't. That didn't work for me. I helped keep them in business a lot, but never work at that.
SPEAKER_01That's funny.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Alright, moving on. Talking about penises. The Ikinna? You know that little rodent, the IKENA?
SPEAKER_02Uh-huh. No.
SPEAKER_01They look like little they look like they're like a cross between a porcupine and like a hedgehog.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's an animal?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Ichina's.
SPEAKER_04How do you spell it?
SPEAKER_01I can't E C H I D N A.
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01Australian.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I know what those are.
SPEAKER_01I'm sure you do. I'm sure you do. Australian researchers discover why only two of the ignata's four penis. Heads become erect at one time. Four? What? They have four penis heads.
SPEAKER_02That would flip my mind out. I can barely handle it.
SPEAKER_01Only two become erect at the same time.
SPEAKER_02There's so much to work with there.
SPEAKER_01I just I think I'm pretty sure they can pick up any chick they wanted.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Or four. Yeah, probably not. Well, but only two areas. Only two can have fun. Okay. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, you have two. I mean.
SPEAKER_02So you gotta buy dinner for two and then one person, two penises. Oh. Oh, the geography. I see, yeah. Right. You got it? Okay. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02No. All right.
SPEAKER_01Anyway, scientists have discovered the mammal has unusual reproductive anatomies that causes male males to ejaculate from only two of their four penile heads at one time. It's a peer-reviewed sexual development.
SPEAKER_04Reminded me to review your stories, man. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Come on, man.
SPEAKER_04This is wacky news. I give you free reign and I I wasn't ready.
SPEAKER_03Wacky news. I had to take off my headset first.
SPEAKER_01Go ahead, Amy. Okay. That one was boring. Okay. 22 hot celeb guys that are turning 50 this year.
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_04I turned 50 a year ago. Clooney Clooney's over 50 already.
SPEAKER_01Clooney's old shit. He's I don't know. He's ugly. Sorry I said a word there.
SPEAKER_04Go ahead.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Let's see. Let's get to someone you might know. Some guys on the Hallmark channel. No.
SPEAKER_04No, the Kelly watches the Hallmark channel all the time. That Hallmark channel, she likes to watch it when it's just because there's just a nice nothing. Yeah. Just a nice, happy thing. There doesn't have to be any fighting or always a good ending. Or stupid sexy. You only need one.
SPEAKER_01One kiss in the Hallmark movie. Oh, that's it. Always at the end.
SPEAKER_04Oh.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Okay. The front man for Green Day turns 50.
SPEAKER_04Oh, Billy something?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Billy Joe Armstrong. Yeah. Shaquille O'Neal.
SPEAKER_04Hey.
SPEAKER_01Turning 50. Um, Timberland. You guys probably won't know who that is.
SPEAKER_04Uh he's a uh singer, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Common. He's also turning 50. He's also a singer.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. He was uh and uh he was on which what movie? Common, Amy.
SPEAKER_01Common?
SPEAKER_04What movie was he on?
SPEAKER_01He was in a bunch of stuff.
SPEAKER_04He's with your guy, your guy. Keanu? Yeah, I was with Keano in uh two.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, he was in uh John Wick.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. You killed my ward. Remember that?
SPEAKER_01He gave him a courtesy, though. He didn't pull the knife out.
SPEAKER_04Hey, it is a common courtesy.
SPEAKER_01He let him live.
SPEAKER_04Bourbon, right? Yeah. Yeah. Whiskey, Roy. That's Keano.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yahw.
SPEAKER_00Totally.
SPEAKER_01No, that's with my Keanu. No, you have Kung Fu on your ass.
SPEAKER_04To our three people who watch John Wick.
SPEAKER_01Don't know, John Wick. All right. Dwayne the Rock Johnson turning 50. Wow. Getting up the Royds, man.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01Up the Roids.
SPEAKER_02Starting to shrink.
SPEAKER_01Bust of rhymes.
SPEAKER_02Go ahead. Oh, geez.
SPEAKER_01Um, Wayne Brady turning 50. All right.
SPEAKER_02Wayne Brady.
SPEAKER_04Wayne Brady.
SPEAKER_01He's not a Best Comic Stanley.
SPEAKER_04No, no, no, no. He was uh Whose Line Is It anyway? And he also does Let's Make a Deal right now.
SPEAKER_02Not a Brady Bunch guy.
unknownJust okay.
SPEAKER_04No, not the Brady Bunch. Damn it, Rick. All those people are old and dead. Why would they be turning 50?
SPEAKER_02The kids, well, the kids aren't yet.
SPEAKER_01Christopher Knight's not dead.
SPEAKER_04They're almost dead. Of course, they're not real Brady's either. Mrs.
SPEAKER_01Brady is dead, and Mr. Brady, I think, is now dead. She used to? And Alice, I think, is dead.
SPEAKER_02Oh, isn't Bobby?
SPEAKER_01Is Bobby dead? I don't know. Keep reading. I'll look at it. Next, Ben Afflack is turning 50. All right. Oh, Idris Elba. He's so hot. He's very good looking.
SPEAKER_04And he can act.
SPEAKER_01He can.
SPEAKER_04I mean, really well.
SPEAKER_01Eminem?
SPEAKER_04Watch him on anything. Yeah. Eminem?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Oh, that's a good one.
SPEAKER_04Eminem was?
SPEAKER_01No. Oh. Idris.
SPEAKER_04I was going to say what? No. No, Idris Elba.
SPEAKER_01I had a dream once about Eminem. Uh oh.
SPEAKER_04Oh, I thought you were going to say about Idris.
SPEAKER_02Can we hear that one?
SPEAKER_04Hold on. We're recording.
SPEAKER_01No, again.
SPEAKER_02Oh, geez.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I bet. That's pretty much.
SPEAKER_01Everybody else is kind of eh.
SPEAKER_04One more. Give us one more.
SPEAKER_01Oh shit. Well, I well, crap.
SPEAKER_04Jerry calls it. Never mind.
SPEAKER_01No, we gotta move on now.
SPEAKER_04All right.
SPEAKER_01Oh, man. Hang on, hang on. Some, let's see. Some of this stuff is some weird trivia. For 16 years, ketchup was sold as medicine.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Yeah, I heard of that.
SPEAKER_01Special recipe in 1834 and claimed it would cure ailments like diarrhea, jaundice, indigestion, and joint pain.
SPEAKER_04No, but but it causes all those things.
SPEAKER_01In 1834, the doctor's always right.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You need a bird, you need a drink this elixir and you'll be fine.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, the elixir.
SPEAKER_02Elixir. Elixir.
unknownGod.
SPEAKER_04To my wife. What is it? Here's to my wife. And I have to drink a poison in Shakespeare. Yeah, it's like 50 ways to die in the West.
SPEAKER_01You need a cow kick in her up.
SPEAKER_04Oh, oh God. Speaking of that, remember in the third John Wick when the guy the horse kicks, he whacks that horse to the air.
SPEAKER_01Oh no, that's so awesome.
SPEAKER_04Oh man. I gotta watch that again.
SPEAKER_01Oh god.
SPEAKER_04Keanu.
SPEAKER_01Keanu's awesome.
SPEAKER_04Oh sweet names.
SPEAKER_01Um, what is this cramp?
SPEAKER_04I love how you take the time to nurture your assignments.
SPEAKER_01It's better to be off the cuff, man. Want to join the Olympics, but don't feel like risking physical injury a hundred years ago, you could have. Between 1912 and 1948. Yeah. Uh aka World War I and World War II. Competitive art was an Olympic sport. Oh. There were medals for music, painting, sculpture, and architecture.
SPEAKER_02Really?
SPEAKER_01Yep. They're all like naked bodies.
SPEAKER_04Best stick person in under 10 seconds. Now that that with a top hat and a cane. There you go.
SPEAKER_02Stick person in act.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's that's that's the test right there. All right. Competitive art.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, competitive art.
SPEAKER_04Could you draw like a nude?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they're like almost all nude. Get undressed! Hurry up!
SPEAKER_02That's just a pencil. Stick drawing with an extra line.
SPEAKER_01Scott Linwin's the coolest national animal.
SPEAKER_03It'd be funny if you tried to draw a nude and then it's you know, 10 minutes later. You got a stick person in this lady. This lady strips down for nothing. Yep, just keep going. What do you think, madam? Gotcha.
SPEAKER_04Who's the guy with the ear? This is no uh Jack Dawson drawing, I can tell you that. We just draw a happy little naked person right here. Just put a little little oh, we're just gonna happy accident that right there.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Oh, is that the guy with uh afro?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yes, I love that guy.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, Bob Ross.
SPEAKER_02Love that guy.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, he's I see a duck.
SPEAKER_02You just talk like that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, he's a smiling duck.
SPEAKER_02Look at that duck.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Okay, ready? So that's this is Bob Ross right here. And this is Mr. Rogers right here. Sure. Sure, right there. You can you can get yourself a friend. Sure. Bob Ross. Mr. Rogers.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, Bob Ross. You hate Mr.
SPEAKER_04Rogers?
SPEAKER_01Makes me want to like, I don't know. What?
SPEAKER_04You know what?
SPEAKER_01Makes me want to put on like speed metal and like I don't even know who you are.
SPEAKER_04Speed metal.
SPEAKER_01Jeez. Do some anarchy. I don't know. I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_04Oh. Watch Mr. Rogers introduce anthrax. What would you pay? You know? Oh my God. Would that be something?
SPEAKER_01All right. More weird stuff. The only part of our bodies that can't heal itself is our teeth. Oh. The enamel that coats our teeth is not a living tissue, so it cannot regenerate.
SPEAKER_04That's why I take care of my teeth and go to my dentist three times a year. Yes.
unknownThank you very much.
SPEAKER_01Quick, is an avocado a fruit or a vegetable?
SPEAKER_03Fruit.
SPEAKER_01If you guess vegetable, you're wrong.
SPEAKER_03Avocados are a fruit. Oh.
SPEAKER_01But if you're really smart, it's a single-seeded berry date.
SPEAKER_02But I really like them.
SPEAKER_01They are good. They are good fats. I guess I'll move on.
SPEAKER_04Well, how about this? So here's wisdom. Wisdom is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. No, knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Tomato is a fruit? Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. That's yes. That's I heard that somewhere. It's a true story. Good call. Go ahead, Ames. That would be.
SPEAKER_01That's it.
SPEAKER_04No more?
SPEAKER_01There's more, but Rick Ramirez. Okay.
SPEAKER_04What? Sports.
unknownThe Cowboys.
SPEAKER_04So the last time we talked, we had picks. That's how long ago. Oh man. Well. And when we when we did that, uh Amy was five and one. Amy was in the lead. She won the season. And then both Rick and I were two and five.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. We were really good because I picked up. You guys are bad. And I am good. Because I just wanted the Bengals to win, but I didn't know if they were going to or not. I didn't think so.
SPEAKER_01No, they didn't.
SPEAKER_02They didn't. They sucked. Actually, they did pretty good. They did pretty good there. AFC, they did really good. They're probably going to be really strong for a while.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Joe Burrow.
SPEAKER_01You like how Joe Burrow comes out with no helmet on? Everyone else has a helmet.
SPEAKER_02And then that one guy. Yeah, he's got to be. He's got to look at it. I think he's pretty vain. Yeah. Well.
SPEAKER_01And now he's Mr. Joel cool with the dressing and the whatever.
SPEAKER_02He's living the dream, man. Oh, you lost. Yeah. Put yourself in front of the team, and you'll always come in. Not first. Aaron Rodgers. So hey. Speaking of sports, Wisconsin Badgers, Big Ten champions.
SPEAKER_01That was an awesome game last night, really.
SPEAKER_02Whoa, they're on fire.
SPEAKER_01Dude, some last-minute. Basketball? Basketball, yeah.
SPEAKER_02We won the Big Ten championship. You know, did you hear about that fight between the Badgers head coach and the guy from Michigan?
SPEAKER_01Throwing swings, baby.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he like smucked one of our assistant coaches. Nicole Cockham, I saw.
SPEAKER_01That was our head coach. Did he hit the head coach? I thought he hit the head coach. He tried to take a swing at the head coach. Right, but he ended up hitting the other guy. Pointing his finger at him.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and it was all because of a timeout.
SPEAKER_01He well, he took a timeout with like three seconds left.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. But Michigan was pressing them.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, but we were ahead by quite a bit. Yeah, we would have won a matter of it. Kind of a dick move.
SPEAKER_02Sort of.
SPEAKER_01But whatever. I think the fighting was hilarious.
SPEAKER_02I think it was great. Because he's still suspended. He's still suspended. Speaking of hockey, Dan gave me a little bit of uh homework type thing.
SPEAKER_01Dan.
SPEAKER_02So what were the most goals? Why you wanted to know this, right? Yeah. Who scored the most goal? Let's say who scored the most by a team in the NHL. Do you have any idea what the highest score of an NHL hockey game was for Ben?
SPEAKER_01I do not. One with the crappiest goalies.
SPEAKER_04Was Gretzi a part of this? No.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_04So yeah, so I wanted to know the who's which person scored the most goals. Yeah, I'll tell you that too. And then the most I would say I would say seven to ten or something like that. For the highest score? For the the most scored by a team, I I'll go, I'll go 15.
SPEAKER_01Jesus.
SPEAKER_0215 goals. Well, how about you, Amy? What do you think?
SPEAKER_01I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Most goals scored in the game.
SPEAKER_01Maybe 12.
SPEAKER_02Okay, you guys are good. I uh I was thinking, I don't know. I was thinking baseball, basketball, maybe, but I was thinking 20 something. No, it was 16.
SPEAKER_01Really? Oh.
SPEAKER_02For the Montreal Canadiens.
SPEAKER_01What year were they playing for?
SPEAKER_02Victory over the Quebec Bulldogs.
SPEAKER_04You didn't say Canadians, you don't have to say Canadiens.
SPEAKER_02Canadiens.
SPEAKER_01Oh, they're this Quebec.
SPEAKER_02Canadien. Quebec. Oh, the Quebec Bulldogs. I don't even think are they're not in the league anymore.
SPEAKER_01I don't know if they're in the league.
SPEAKER_02This was back in 1920, so. 1920? Yeah. Oh my gosh. They didn't even have helmets back then. No, they didn't. They had no teeth either.
SPEAKER_01Were they all unconscious?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, pretty much. Now, the person who scored. No helmets here. They just kicked the puck around then. Yeah. Um, so the person who scored the most goals in a single game. Any idea how many that would be?
SPEAKER_04I'll say uh Gordy Howe. I'll go, I'll go.
SPEAKER_01Without Googling it.
SPEAKER_04No, I'll go, I'll go eight. No, six. I'll go six, Gordy Howe.
SPEAKER_02Gordy Howe? I can't even find him on the list.
SPEAKER_04All right, so not him.
SPEAKER_02So not him, no. And you said six? Yeah. Okay. Ames, any idea? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I don't know.
SPEAKER_02It's not six. Right.
SPEAKER_01It's probably like maybe eight.
SPEAKER_02It's not eight.
SPEAKER_01Is it like five? Something like that.
SPEAKER_02Well, if it's me, uh let me let me let me pick. Um, I would say if I was guessing, I'd say seven. It's seven. I'm right.
SPEAKER_01How did you know? I know. It's seven.
SPEAKER_02So I can't even compete with you. Joe Malone scored seven goals in one game on January 31st of 1920. That was a hell of a year.
SPEAKER_04That same game where all the big goals were scored.
SPEAKER_02Is he a Canadian? He while he's from Canada. Okay. Might have been the Canadien.
unknownThe Canadion.
SPEAKER_04Jeez. Can you imagine what kind of skates they had? Just leather. Oh, yeah. And then, you know, just some.
SPEAKER_02Like razor, razor sharp. Probably not back then. Yeah. Probably not. And then uh Joe Malone is actually on the list twice. He scored six also in in multiple games in 1920. Might have been his only season he ever seen. Oh, in 1917 he scored uh he scored five.
SPEAKER_01Is that like through the depression? Like were they just loser drunk? Drinking before them?
SPEAKER_04Sometimes I just sit back and I want to put in the videos of the 1920 hockey games to see those guys. Just going back and forth, just scoring goals and stuff.
SPEAKER_02I got some interesting. Okay, so look, uh, we're talking about the Super Bowl.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You guys hear about Matthew Stafford won finally. Can you uh let's play this scenario again? Yeah. Say you are the guy they traded away. What was his name? You remember him? Now he's stuck in Detroit. Can you imagine what it's like for him right now thinking, oh my God, I was just traded away from the Rams, and now I'm playing for the Detroit Lions, where Matthew Stafford just came from. Right. And he just won the Super Bowl.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, it helps to have a whole other team around you.
SPEAKER_02It really does help a lot.
SPEAKER_01Detroit's kind of balls in one basket.
SPEAKER_02So Matthew Stafford finally gets out of the shadows and he wins Super Bowl. Yeah. So the big talk of the Super Bowl was not necessarily his, you know, oh Matthew Stafford, you won the Super Bowl. Great. What are you going to do? I'm going to go to Disney World. Whatever.
SPEAKER_01But yeah.
SPEAKER_02No, the talk is his reaction to when a female photographer fell off the stage of his Super Bowl celebration party and broke her back. Broke back. He broke her back. She landed. She fell like six feet. Landed on her back. Really? Matthew Stafford watched her fall and then turned around and kind of walked away. So they thought. What actually happened was he turned because he was, they said he was kind of like, like, oh no, oh God, I didn't see that. But what he did was he turned to his wife and said, Go check on her. So though his wife bent down and checked on the photographer, found out that her back was broke. Immediately, people erupted saying, Oh, Matthew Staffordson, big A-hole. Oh my God, you're a horrible human being, blah, blah, blah. Well, no, his wife Kelly went to check on the lady. Matt didn't want to jump in because, you know, he didn't want to take all the attention and away from what's going on or whatever. I don't know. But anyway, what ended up happening is they paid for all of her medical bills, all of her ruined photography. How did she equipment completely her fault? She stepped backwards off the stage. And then there was a lot of people. She didn't know where she was. She literally walked off the stage backwards and just like, oh shit.
SPEAKER_04First rule of photography, uh, Amy. When you're a Safari, just to know your surroundings so you don't get eaten by a jackal. So that's a jackal? Yeah, she has to know her uh surroundings.
SPEAKER_01Well, yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04Let's tell the people is take a selfie in front of a cliff, you know, and then you know how many people that have fallen from the Grand Canyon?
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah. One step back. One more.
SPEAKER_01It helps have Odell Beckham take away.
SPEAKER_02Um I have oh well. I mean uh speaking of winners and losers, I have a thing here. Um the biggest lottery winners who won millions, but ended up losing everything.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02So Rags to Riches. Now, I kind of was reading this and maybe I'm an a-hole, but I was laughing at some of this.
SPEAKER_01Maybe I was an A.
SPEAKER_02I couldn't believe that. Um I couldn't believe how this happens, actually. So a guy named Ken Proxmire. This isn't much. In 1977, Ken won a million dollars in the Michigan State Lottery, Jackpot. He opted to receive his windfall annual installments of 50,000 for 14 years. Pretty good idea. Proxmire jumped in the deep end of the pool of the millionaire's lifestyle, however, and treated himself and his family to a house in California, a new car, and his own pool parlor. But the businessman expanded his new adventure too quickly. Fueled by a lavish spending and mounting debt, it was the catalyst to his high life collapsing into bankruptcy. Ugh.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's only 50 grand a year, dude.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he crawled into a hole, pulled a top in, and uh, by the time his nightmare was over, he owed an excess of $2.4 million.
SPEAKER_04$50,000 a year is like another job for the house. You still have to work a job. That's the thing. When you get the medical insurance, you still gotta have all that.
SPEAKER_01And then you move to like the most expensive.
SPEAKER_02You buy a massive house. And $50,000 a year?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's not enough. That's not enough.
SPEAKER_02That's not enough. You need another income. Um, here's a three million dollar winner. Ronnie Musick Jr. won $3 million. Instead of investing it uh sensibly, he uh let's see, instead of investing his winnings sensibly in real estate or stocks, um, the 45-year-old put his winnings into a crystal meth ring when he landed the $3 million prize.
unknownOh my god.
SPEAKER_04Hold on. This guy's just thinking, I mean, high risk, but he's high profit. Right. There's a risk.
SPEAKER_01You should have split it. I'll give you some for the meth, and then I'll invest in a dental place. Right.
SPEAKER_04Right. There you go. I like that. Yeah. Because then you know they work their tea. Yes. And then also a daycare so that their kids that they leave behind.
SPEAKER_01The kids don't get locked in the car.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01That'd be nice.
SPEAKER_02The hapless drug dealer was caught, and on top of losing his money, Music Jr. was sentenced to 21 years in prison.
SPEAKER_01Nice.
SPEAKER_02Well. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Why would you why?
SPEAKER_02Um, feel bad for this young lady. Callie Rogers won $3 million. She's Britain's youngest lottery winner, Callie Rogers. Britain. This is in Britain.
SPEAKER_01Um, I mean, is that why you feel sorry for her?
SPEAKER_02She's always going to be just because she talks like that. Poor little girl. Um Kylie Rogers was over the moon when she scooped up $3 million in 2003 at just 16 years old.
SPEAKER_01How can you're not an adult?
SPEAKER_02Over there it's different. Over there, they can do it. Yeah, apparently.
SPEAKER_01The Packers are playing in London next year. Are we going?
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_01I'm going.
SPEAKER_02Not if Rogers is their quarterback. It's gonna be a worth wasted trip.
SPEAKER_00Hell no.
SPEAKER_02The supermarket checkout girl from Cumbria ditched her job and splurged on cosmetic surgery. Drug-fueled nights out, holidays, and gifts. So much so, in fact, by 2013, 10 years later, Rogers had just $2,580 left in the bank.
SPEAKER_01She's not hot anymore.
SPEAKER_04She's probably overplasticed.
SPEAKER_02Nope.
SPEAKER_04Or kid.
SPEAKER_02So let's see another. Um I'll just I'll just jump up to a higher. Here's a $5 million. Louis Eisenberg, a Brooklyn born Louis Eisenberg, became a multi millionaire in 81, winning the New York State lottery, jackpot.
SPEAKER_0181.
SPEAKER_02On the ominous day of Friday the 13th. It was in a no on a November day. The $5 million win. Was the largest lottery payout at the time. Eisenberg gambled away most of his winnings, and the remainder went on, uh, went to pay off his ex-wives. Ex-wives multiple wives. By 2001, the cash had dried up and Eisenberg was living in a mobile home.
SPEAKER_01I thought maybe he invested in a cocaine ring because it's the 80s.
SPEAKER_04Hey, isn't it lacrosse season? Isn't it? Random. It might be. La crosse season?
SPEAKER_01No, it's probably starting in the spring.
SPEAKER_04Did you ever see a lacrosse game?
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_04I've never seen lacrosse. Um that's actually a function. Or high ali. Isn't hi ali with the more kind of fun.
SPEAKER_01When the spring training starts, right?
SPEAKER_02Right, but the first two weeks of baseball has been canceled, you know.
SPEAKER_04And then soccer starts. We have to have La Fever in for soccer.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. We have to have a guest started so he can explain.
SPEAKER_01FIFA has banned all Russian players.
SPEAKER_04Good, they should.
SPEAKER_02FIFA shoulda. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Shoulda, woulda, coulda.
SPEAKER_02FIFA. FIFA.
SPEAKER_01FIFA.
SPEAKER_02Um, how about a $9 million winner? I'll stop with this guy. Lawrence Cadlish.
SPEAKER_01Sounds like a dude.
SPEAKER_02Lended a UK national lottery payout of $9 million in 97. The Gateshead resident lavished his family with gifts, including property and cars. Cadlish moved to Spain in the early 2000s and plowed the rest of his winnings into several failed business schemes while illegally claiming UK disability benefits. The now penniless expat returned to the UK to face the music in 2012 and received a suspended sentence for the fraud.
SPEAKER_01Suspended sentence, nice.
SPEAKER_02So he didn't get much.
SPEAKER_01He got away with it.
SPEAKER_02He kind of did get away with it.
SPEAKER_01He probably paid some shit off.
SPEAKER_02He did. He's a doofus-looking dude here. This 13 here, 13.8 million. 13.8 million dollar. Jeez. Um Michael Carroll blew through $13.8 million within a seven-year time limit. Here, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01$13.7 years?
SPEAKER_02Well, the convicted criminal from Norfolk squandered the lot on partying, jewelry, extravagant cars, and gifts for family and friends. Not to mention he opened up a drug ring and was caught. Now, upon his release, is making minimum wage working at a store.
SPEAKER_04Again, I understand the business idea. High risk.
SPEAKER_01Why don't you just take the drugs instead of buying and or investing in a ring of the stuff?
SPEAKER_04There you go. Then you can die and leave that money to to the uh to to your family who will spend it appropriately for education.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah. Yep.
SPEAKER_04Education. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just saying.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So Wow. I can't imagine.
SPEAKER_02There was one in here that I it was really funny, and I I can't find it right now, but I know it was um Oh here. $27 million. David Lee Edwards. $27 million. Uh won uh his share of the Powerball in 2002. Um flush with cash, Edwards went uh on to the mother of all spending sprees. However, before he took all the spending off, he split half of it with his wife, darling wife, of 10 years at the time. Not suspecting any issues, uh, she quickly divorced the husband and went off on a spending spree of her own.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Now what happened was Um she blew through all of her money. He had about three million, they figured, left in his the ill-fated lottery winner.
SPEAKER_01She wanted back in.
SPEAKER_02And she sued him for half of what he the remaining lottery winnings and won.
SPEAKER_01But it's the example. How can she go back and get mine?
SPEAKER_02Um don't know. And then Good lawyer. The lucky, the lucky guy uh died uh before he was able to pay his money. Um so yeah. So that's the thing.
SPEAKER_01And you're gonna give your attorney half that.
SPEAKER_02Like I think the attorney must have kept that because yeah, that was pretty much so.
SPEAKER_04The only person who made money was the attorney.
SPEAKER_02Yep. Pretty much and everybody that he gave that you know stuff to.
SPEAKER_01I don't think Laura, Laura's. You like that?
SPEAKER_04Don't you have anything more? No.
SPEAKER_01Books are playing.
SPEAKER_04Wait a minute. I was uh Rick, I was we were talking about your uh uh girlfriend earlier. Yes, and uh party animal. I wanted to see, I was looking up uh hangover cures. That's just she's gonna listen this time. Uh I thought Gene had a good time.
SPEAKER_01She had a great time.
SPEAKER_04She had a fantastic.
SPEAKER_01Hey, don't be mad at me.
SPEAKER_04It was a great birthday party.
SPEAKER_01I thought it was fun.
SPEAKER_04I was looking up these hangover cures.
SPEAKER_01Thank you, Ryan.
SPEAKER_04Yes. Hold on one second. Uh so some one of them is pickle juice.
SPEAKER_02Would you use pickle juice? Um, I've heard that one. I've heard that.
SPEAKER_04I have not used it, but you just take like vitamin B and then uh I hear it's like it's like it's just you need water because it's I'm gonna share this story about Jean.
SPEAKER_02Okay, wait a minute.
SPEAKER_04I'm gonna I wanted to say this. Uh so uh the Germans, coffee, the French, strong coffee. And some salt. I thought that was interesting. And some salt.
SPEAKER_01Marie French.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Rose.
SPEAKER_02Go ahead, Ricky. Uh Gene is remarkably uh well equipped to handle hangover. She rarely ever gets them. How does she do it? I don't know. It makes me really just pissed because we had uh, I don't remember if you guys remember we had a Halloween party. Dan, you were DJing it. I remember okay. We we dressed up as KISS. Yeah, it was awesome. It was fun. Uh Jean, I get her so drunk that night. She passes out basically on the living room floor. And it was funny because we have white carpet and she had this black makeup on. Oh no. And I'm like, uh oh, she's gonna be pissed tomorrow.
SPEAKER_01And you helped by not doing anything.
SPEAKER_02I never, I didn't touch her. I just put a I put a blanket over her.
SPEAKER_01Why don't you put like a towel under her head or something?
SPEAKER_02Well, I didn't want to disturb her. She would look comfy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wake up the next morning to the uh the vacuum cleaner going, here we go. And it was her. She's up and at it. Fine. Yep. She didn't even have a headache.
SPEAKER_04Nothing. I was puking. Ooh, uh uh the Romanian hangover cure. Ready? Uh 10 scow's stomach, root vegetable soup, cream, and vinegar.
SPEAKER_03What?
SPEAKER_04And then Chinese, uh strong green tea. Uh American. American is uh egg yolk and Worcester sauce.
SPEAKER_01American is going getting a greasy burger.
SPEAKER_04Dutch made the Dutch is cure. The Dutch is cure for a hangover.
SPEAKER_01The Dutch don't get hangovers, do they?
SPEAKER_04Beer.
unknownBeer.
SPEAKER_01That'd be Germans, I would think.
SPEAKER_02Drunk again, you stupid bastard.
SPEAKER_01French would be mine.
SPEAKER_04The Irish, they just it's just part of their it's just what they do.
SPEAKER_01You get the old Irish comeback.
SPEAKER_04Keep drinking. Wow. There is no uh AA in uh Ireland. I don't know. No.
SPEAKER_01No, they don't put up with that crap.
SPEAKER_04That's because all the meetings are at the bar. So that's probably all right. That is our our next our our last of uh the last of us for a little bit here. Oh no, no, no, I mean for now. Whatever.
SPEAKER_01I was just saying, what what happened? I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_04No, no. We are we we we will try to get together more frequently. We're gonna try to get more going on here. Keep it in the groove, baby. But uh I got a play coming up and we're doing a bunch of stuff. We will definitely try to get back to you. Yeah. Thanks again, everybody. Be good. Bye.