Dam Beaver Podcast
News and History commentary. Plugs for local comedy and theater, in the Beaver Dam WI Area.
Dam Beaver Podcast
Episode 68.5
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Santa History. Amy's got Sports. We don't know what Rick is doing.
No, we're we're starting now.
SPEAKER_03We're all thinking we just started. Nobody ever knows.
SPEAKER_05Okay, now you have to start over. Oh shit. Can we still do this, Joe?
SPEAKER_00It's the Damn Beaver Podcast. No, no, that's not the right song. There we go.
SPEAKER_04It's Christmas. Whoa!
SPEAKER_05No way! We got fancy. What happened?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and what is who's Merry Christmas to everybody?
SPEAKER_03Merry Christmas.
SPEAKER_04Okay, so it's been a year. We're a little rusty. It's been a year. Yeah, I think so. Because last time we did the slaughtered Santa's. That was it. Everyone's gonna be surprised. They probably thought we were all dead.
SPEAKER_05Probably. We probably don't even listen. The two people that did before.
SPEAKER_04We've only been asked by one person.
SPEAKER_02You doing this again?
SPEAKER_04I don't know. We've been in, we've been in 400 things since. I mean, the whole year's been nuts.
SPEAKER_01That is true.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Brianna has been going back to school. She graduates. We've had all these plans in place. Sarah's going to school. It's been crazy. She's been nuts. I don't know.
SPEAKER_05Clazy go nuts.
SPEAKER_04Rick. Yeah. You've been busy too. Don't you got a daughter getting you got someone getting married next year?
SPEAKER_03Um, yeah, Abby's getting married next uh July. Uh June, sorry, June. Okay. Um and then I have uh another niece that's getting married that I have to that I get to give away. All right. So I'm busy next summer too, but yeah. Not as busy as this year. Amy's getting married. Did you hear that?
SPEAKER_05I am fucking getting married. Oh, sorry.
SPEAKER_04There goes the must checkbox already. Oh, sorry. So we should we switch assignments, right? So Amy's gonna be doing sports now. He's gonna be doing the mystery ship thing. We don't know what he's gonna be doing.
SPEAKER_05Weird shit.
SPEAKER_04So all right. So I have decided to do uh some history on Christmas stuff here. So hold on one second. We've been you've been breathless in the anticipation.
SPEAKER_03Good. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04Don't forget we got the uh we got a show coming up in uh March we're doing at the 1934 Convention Center. It's gonna be a radio show.
SPEAKER_02Yes. I'm very excited.
SPEAKER_04So awesome. I'm very excited.
SPEAKER_03We need to see every single one of you there. All eight of our listeners.
SPEAKER_05Sure to get tickets early.
SPEAKER_04All right. So as you know, we're gonna do we're gonna do Santa last year. So we're gonna do, but I wanted to do a couple of things here. Uh the uh when should you take down when you guys take down your Christmas decorations?
SPEAKER_05After New Year's.
SPEAKER_04You guys have to do it down. So Kelly, we like to do it after New Year's as well.
SPEAKER_01Yay.
SPEAKER_04So, but the rest of the world, like we'll wait like a week after New Year's or something like that. But then uh the uh the rest of the world, however, ready, takes them down in February. All right, you ready? So here's why. So taking down decorations on the 12th night or 5th or 6th of January is modern, uh, is a modern superstition, it says, for around the world. For many centuries, they were kept up until uh Candleman's Eve, which I don't know what that is, uh, which is February. Uh, Candleman celebrates Mary and Joseph taking the baby Jesus to the temple at Jerusalem and presenting him to the Lord, according to St. Luke's gospel. And they had to sacrifice two pigeons. So we've given that. There we go. Worldwide, that's a lot of pigeons. That's a lot of pigeons. Uh uh early Christmas decorations consisted mainly of greenery, which uh which kept inside the house looking cheerful even when the weather was outside and miserable. So some people clung to older pre-Christian beliefs about these, namely that they uh contain woodland spirits, uh, who, if you left the decorations up, would cause mischief in your house. Oh. So careful householders took them down and burned them. Wow. Whoa! Just to make sure.
SPEAKER_05Now that in Salem.
SPEAKER_04In North America, the Candlemans is celebrated as Groundhog's Day. Uh groundhogs are large rodents, uh, related to the squirrels, of course, according to folklore. If it's cloudy, when the ray, you know, groundhog emerges from its burrow, uh, spring will come early, and so on. Now, of course, if the groundhog has no interest in weather forecasting, uh, he's looking for a mate, it says. Oh. So you stay inside to have sex. I don't get it. Uh, recent statistics released by the USA Climate Data Center show that the groundhog is about uh 40% correct. Now that's about most meteorologists, right? Yeah, uh, or the bear uh used to be uh where people would watch for hibernating bear as it awoke to get uh a similar weather prediction, which I did not know. I don't think you would want to a bear? Yeah. They would sit and watch uh hibernating bears. Uh the rarity of coming out starving to death. The rarity of bears in France meant that this uh uh uh duty eventually had to be taken over by a man in a bear costume. Oh my god, which is called Badger Day in Germany. In Ireland they use a hedgehog. All right. Oh, a little hedgehog. Those are kind of cute. Until the 17th century, Christmas lasted almost three months. Wow, that'd be awesome. That's a lot of presents of the Feast of St. Martin in uh November 11th to Candleman's, which is February 2nd. Although today it isn't officially begun until Advent, which is the fourth Sunday after Christmas. Now, uh people started looking for Santa Claus, the elephant presents, on November 11th already. Good. Uh it's really it's kind of a long.
SPEAKER_05I'm missing some presents then.
SPEAKER_04No doubt. So they say February, I say no. All right. Uh which holiday is celebrated on uh December 26th? Anyone? Holiday? Which holiday on uh December 26th?
SPEAKER_05The Kwanzaa?
SPEAKER_04Boxing Day, when Britain is defined as the first working day after Christmas, all right? So it's not always on uh December 26th, though. It can change. Huh. So for example, if the 25th falls on a Friday, Boxing Day is on a Monday. So uh because Saturday and Sunday aren't working days, so when Christmas falls on a Saturday, Boxing Day is on a Monday and the 27th, right?
SPEAKER_01So they have to go to work.
SPEAKER_04Right. Uh but there's a holiday. I don't know. It's the first working day. Uh but the holiday that always takes place on December 26th is the feast of Saint Stephen. Oh, of course. Appropriately for someone whose feast day is the day after Christmas, Saint Stephen is the patron saint of headaches. Oh, they have a patron saint of headaches? Yes. Uh, of headaches, yes, which which makes sense. That kind of makes sense. He's also looks after the deacons, the horses, and the coffin makers, and is the patron saint of stone workers. Uh which is saying it's just stone, which is which is busy saint. It's ironic because uh he was the first Christian martyr to be stoned to death.
SPEAKER_01Ooh, yuck. He didn't do his job well or had it.
SPEAKER_04Now it would be a long process. All right. Another quick trick. Uh Jingle Bells was not written for Christmas. Did you know that?
SPEAKER_05No.
SPEAKER_04No. It was written for Thanksgiving.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_04Jingle Bells is the only song that doesn't mention Christmas, Jesus, or the Nativity, and that's because it was written to celebrate Thanksgiving. Uh One Horse Open Slay. Jingle Bells was the work of an American poser uh Pierpoint. Uh James Lord Pierpoint. Uh uh until the finance uh and the uncle of the financier, JP Morgan. Hoo-hoo. Oh, that's why. Yeah, that's where he got financially. Yeah. Um no clue. Now listen to this. Pierpoint, he led a wild life. At 14, he ran away to the sea and joined the whaling ship at 27. He left his wife, asshole, uh, uh and children in Boston to join the California Gold Rush. Oh, he was helping them out. Never mind. Oh. After rein he reinvented himself as a photographer, and he lost all of his possessions in a fire and moved to Savannah, Georgia. He joined the Confederate Army in the Civil War, and uh throughout this period he found some way to uh to make this song. Now, Jingle Bells was the first tune. The state of Massachusetts and Georgia both claimed to be uh Pierpont was there when he wrote Jingle Bells in 1857. Wherever he was, he made very little money out of it and never lived to see his song's enormous popularity. Jingle Bells was the first song. Karma, baby. Jingle Bells was also the first song played in space. How do you like that? Watch Live in Space on 600. Of all the songs, man. December 1965. The astronauts Willie Shearer and Tom Stafford were prep uh preparing to re-enter the Earth's atmosphere on the Gemini 6, Stanford Contact and Mission Control to report a UFO. We have an object like a satellite going from north to south, probably in polar orbit, and they ended up playing jingle bells because they were trying to pretend it was Santa. Lying to the world. Isn't that precious? But Santa is real. Just saying. Absolutely. You know what? Let's talk about Santa for a moment. Oh, yeah. Santa Claus, uh, depending upon your age, he is not uh the Coca-Cola guy, although that one looks really cute. I like him. Uh Santa Claus, the real Santa Claus, lived and performed miracles in what is now the sun-baked town of Demuray, uh, in southwestern Turkey. I think it's Demeray.
SPEAKER_01Miracles.
SPEAKER_04The most famous miracles. Now listen to this. The most famous miracles usually involve children. Uh in one, he restored, he restored to life three children who'd been chopped up by the local tavern owner and kept in the brine tub. Okay, I'm I'm I'm questioning that. Wow. That's some BS. This is all it's all what they said. Now being kind to children explains his suitability as a Christmas saint, but Saint Nick is also the patron saint of, and I did not know this, of judges. Like all judges? Yeah. Pawnbrokers, thieves, which is weird, merchants, bakers, sea travelers, and oddly oddly murderers. Can you believe it? Santa Claus? Yes, they're the patron saint of murderers. So Italian sailors stole St. Nicholas's. Now listen, Italian sailors stole St. Nicholas's miraculously Mirror exude, you know, frankincense and myrrh exuding bones in 1087. Turkey is still demanding their return, by the way. The bones? Yes. Jeez. The rest of Europe, uh, the uh let's see here. Oh, no, not that one. We'll do this one. Uh uh, the uh uh the rest of Europe, the benign uh St. Nicholas fused older, darker mythological types. Now, you know that have you ever seen that movie Krampus?
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04Have you seen that? I have not seen that. Now listen to this. He started taking darker mythological shapes. In Eastern Germany, he is known as uh a shaggy goat, uh, Ashman, or Ryder. In Holland, he is Sinterklaus, uh, attended by the sinister Black Peters. Holy cow.
SPEAKER_05There's a parade in Germany of Krampus. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Jeez, what is going on?
SPEAKER_04The Jolly Coca-Cola Santa existed well before uh Hayden Sundholm's uh famous advertising images of the 1930s uh and his illustration uh and those of Thomas Nast in the 1860s were based on the New Yorker Clement Clark Moore's 1823 poem, A Visit from St. Nicholas, or better known as the Night Before Christmas poem. So that was in 1823, so that's kind of when he started. It's just been around a while, but yeah. Moore is an unlikely author in his day job, he was a professor of Hebrew and Oriental uh languages. Uh he he also uh fueled the Santi, and uh it was hard to exaggerate, so he made this poem about him. Uh the he moves the legend to Christmas Eve, and instead of the dower Saint Nick described in the uh as the uh just he describes a rotund, twinkly-eyed white bearded elf with fur trimmed and red clothes, and reindeer names, uh, and a sledge that landed on roofs and a sack full of toys. It became one of the most popular children's poems of all time. So he used to be a dark character until this poem came around, it looks like weird. So the horror movies got it right. Yeah, I think so. Like the night before Christmas. It's not clear when the North Pole and the factory of L's became attached to the story, but it was established enough by the 1927 for Finns to claim that Santa Claus lived in Finnish Lapland. Finnish Lapland, you following me? As no reindeer could live in the North Pole because there was no real food up there for them. So they're trying to justify this now. Now listen to this. So Santa's official post is in Rovianimi, uh Rovianini, uh, the capital of Lapland, and he receives, get this 600,000 letters a year there at that address. So they have they're the ones that have they're the ones that have to deal with his mail. Oh man. Ready. Now, here it comes. As if in revenge for his secular success, the Vatican demoted St. Nicholas Saints Day, which was on December 6th, uh, from an obligatory to a voluntary observance in 1969. The year we were born. Wow.
SPEAKER_05I wasn't born in 69.
SPEAKER_04So there you were born in 69? You're born in 70?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, 72.
SPEAKER_04Oh boy. I was born in 70, but. You were? Yeah. So it's just me? Yeah. You're old. All right, we're done, everyone. We're gonna go. No, that's the end. That's the end of the thing. Whoops. And so there we stop.
SPEAKER_05This is jiggling. Yeah, mine's a jiggly wiggle. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04All right. Is it moving? No. No. Must have been the dog. All right. So we're gonna go to Amy first for sports here.
SPEAKER_05I don't know. I might have to cough.
SPEAKER_04You're gonna have to cough? Ready? Okay. They cough in sports. They don't cough in sports. Alright, here we go. Here we go.
SPEAKER_05Amy totally rocks. All sports. Man, I don't know. There's a lot going on. I don't even know where to start.
SPEAKER_04You don't?
SPEAKER_05All right. Well, it's been quite a year. But the big ones are this weekend. Uh the Big Ten championship game. Oh, that's this weekend, that's right. Tomorrow, Iowa versus Michigan. Yep.
SPEAKER_04All right, Amy. You're rooting for Iowa, right? Because the girl goes Iowa.
SPEAKER_05But it's gonna be a big game because Michigan's gonna want to prove that, you know. Because they got punished by the Big Ten, and so Harbaugh comes back. So it's gonna be a big motivator, but I'm rooting for the Hawks. Um A Rod or Aaron Rodgers. The Jets have opened his practice window as of Wednesday. So supposedly he's practicing. Moving on. Uh Packers have a big game this week. Um, we are playing the Chiefs at home. And literally the whole Taylor Swift thing is a thing.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05So people are buying, trying to get tickets just to see if she may or may not come.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I hear people like like getting hotel rooms just Swifties getting hotel rooms. Okay.
SPEAKER_05I think she's in Europe on tour. So I'm pretty, I don't know. It's weird.
SPEAKER_03I think she was she was quoted as saying, What's Wisconsin? Maybe we're not sure.
SPEAKER_05So yeah.
SPEAKER_04Um so I don't know how I feel about that. You know, she could probably fill that stadium herself. Oh yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_05Oh, for sure.
SPEAKER_04You know, but uh for sure.
SPEAKER_05But yeah, but a lot of people are dating.
SPEAKER_04Like I don't you know earned all her money. Yeah, I'm just saying strap a helmet on her.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, like she's don't and I don't care that they're dating, that's great.
SPEAKER_03No, I'm there for them, yeah. Leave them alone now.
SPEAKER_05Now let 'em play and like just let her watch the game. I don't know. Anyway, um, my hockey team, the Canucks, they're having a good year this year so far. Yes. Prince Harry was there, attended a game, dropped a puck for opening.
SPEAKER_02Prince Harry dropped a puck? Where's the Canuck? Wow.
SPEAKER_05In Canada, eh?
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_05Oh and uh this one was kind of weird. So Warren Sapp is supposedly gonna go help Deion Sanders coach at Colorado.
SPEAKER_03Wow. I'm like, really?
SPEAKER_05Warren Sapp?
SPEAKER_03I didn't know he was around yet.
SPEAKER_05Well and he was always kind of a dirty player, kind of Warren Sapp. He did a lot of stepping on people and but anyway. Um good role model. Right, a couple other things, but still with football. Um the Bears. The first win at the Vikings. First win without scoring a touchdown since 1993. They won a game.
SPEAKER_03Wait. Oh, they never they never scored a touchdown?
SPEAKER_05No, during that game this past week.
SPEAKER_03I didn't even know that. Wow.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, they beat the Vikings, they upset the Vikings.
SPEAKER_03I didn't watch that one.
SPEAKER_05But yeah, first win without scoring a touchdown since 1993.
SPEAKER_04Congratulations, man. So messed up. Don't they have some website? There's some website or something that tells the scores of these games, like the score between two teams has never sh come up before until this year. Like there was some famous score, like out of all the games that have ever been played, this is the first time this particular score has come up. Oh like this past year?
SPEAKER_03I think so. Here, I'll look that up. Something did something did happen like that. I can't remember what it was. I'll look that up.
SPEAKER_05It could be. And then last night, the Cowboys uh upsetting, or not upsetting, beating the Seahawks. Yuck.
SPEAKER_03Who's getting the Super Bowl?
SPEAKER_05Super Bowl? Come on, man. Anyway, the game last night, zero punts. Only the fifth game in the NFL history with zero punts for a game.
SPEAKER_03That's what happens when your defenses go to sleep, I get a feeling.
SPEAKER_05The brewers, if you want to go to spring training, tickets are on sale for spring training for the brewers.
SPEAKER_03Are they talking spring training already?
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03When is that? Not until spring.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_05Spring training.
SPEAKER_03But tickets go on now.
SPEAKER_05You can get tickets for spring training.
SPEAKER_03That excites me because this cold weather sucks.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_03Just saying. Ooh. We'll filter them out.
SPEAKER_05So yeah, and then Big Ten teams are just kind of bowl eligible as of right now. Michigan, Ohio State, Iowa, Maryland, Penn State, Northwestern. Wisconsin made it in.
SPEAKER_03Wisconsin, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Wisconsin made it in by winning. Beating Minnesota.
SPEAKER_03That that was a big win.
SPEAKER_05And then uh I did have one funny thing uh for sports. Um a cyclist. They don't know who he is. They were uh they were um in a big cycle race, whatever. And apparently instead of stopping to go to the bathroom, he just let it go while he was riding his bike, and it's all on video. They don't know who it is because they couldn't see people were videotaping it, but they couldn't see his face. But it's literally him just riding his bike, but then kind of just turning to the side and just kind of urinating as he's biking.
SPEAKER_03He didn't like take anything out to urinate.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03What? He pulled his shorts down?
SPEAKER_05No, he didn't pull his shorts out. He probably just whipped it out of the hole in the front.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god, why? There's a video. Okay, I thought, oh, who is this?
SPEAKER_05They don't know who it is. They don't know what it is.
SPEAKER_03That's competitive, I guess.
SPEAKER_05But yeah. He's literally biking in a race.
SPEAKER_03Just like not even stopping. Not even slowing down, just yeah.
SPEAKER_05Because it said that they don't you don't get brakes for urinating. Oh, yeah, that's true. You either do it or you pull over and watch people pass you.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. They uh don't think some of them were some of them wear depends too. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. You'll see some. Well, you really gotta want to ride a bike.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god, can you imagine that? Marathoners.
SPEAKER_05And there's a video of him. You can totally see him doing it.
SPEAKER_03It's I've heard marathoners have, you know, they don't stop to do anything.
unknownThat's not good.
SPEAKER_03And there's, you know, streaks down their legs and stuff. I'm like, that's a dedication I don't want to ever have.
SPEAKER_05That's nasty. Oh yeah. Yeah. But otherwise, it's like girls' basketball, men's basketball, wrestling has all started.
SPEAKER_04Volleyball is all that's a double.
SPEAKER_05Volleyball's pretty much wrapping up.
SPEAKER_04We were watching that in the bar. In the bar? Yes. Oh, in the bar. Yeah. Wisconsin. Wisconsin was doing pretty good. All right. They got women's hockey too, right?
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_05They got a good hockey team.
SPEAKER_04They're doing actually.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they work in the guys most of the years, don't they? Yes. They've got quite a few national championships now for the last decade, right?
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And they don't make it still don't make as much money as the guys.
SPEAKER_05No, of course not.
SPEAKER_04Because we're pigs. Anyway.
SPEAKER_03But you know what? I would not take any amount of money to stand in front of those hockey players. Ladies, no way. No. They would they would kill me.
SPEAKER_04So do you think they could beat, I think that they could beat like a high school boys team. Like if we took a college girls team and uh you think it's state hockey, like a boys' team. I would I would even screen the crap out of the city. I would say college men's even some high school.
SPEAKER_05High school boys, they get short. Oh, they wouldn't have to be able to get away from the colour.
SPEAKER_04No, by college by like the girls, like the women the college women's team. I think the college women's team would be. They would slaughter any any high school. You think that would be interesting to see. Depending on depending on the school, though. I mean, like if you take a Class A Milwaukee team. Yeah. Let's say high school? Yeah. Class A high school hockey team from Milwaukee.
SPEAKER_05Put them up against like a girls' college hockey team. Hockey team, they would kill them.
SPEAKER_03I think the college hockey team, the women's, I think would do really, really well if not uh interesting. Then again, you gotta think, you know, the a lot of those high schoolers are technically getting all ready for the NHL. So they're actually really good players already, depending on what level you go with. You know, yeah. I don't know if Yale women's hockey team is that great, but they had one or Harvard, Harvard does, right?
SPEAKER_05I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_03I know we've used to play them, but I might not be a hockey team, right? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02They might not be that tough. You know, that I would pay money to see that. I would too.
SPEAKER_05That's like college guys having them play girls junior high hockey. Like that wouldn't even be a competition, would it? I don't think that'd even be a competition.
SPEAKER_04No, no. I'm talking about from the sexes point of view. Like if you took if you're a sexist channel. Yeah, I'm not saying take on a college, you know, guy college hockey team and a girls' college hockey team. I think that that would be that would be interesting to watch. But I think a girls' hockey team could beat a boys' high school hockey team, like the top high school.
SPEAKER_05That wouldn't even be a game. I mean, that would be I don't either.
SPEAKER_04I'm not do you think it do you think it would be uh I don't know what it is about hockey though, but like like for example like the women's soccer team could beat any probably some high school college boys uh uh uh hockey I I would think uh soccer game, yeah. But something about hockey, the ruffian of like it's a rough sport.
SPEAKER_05Hockey's so fun.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. We gotta go see a hockey game. I keep saying that every year.
SPEAKER_05Let's go.
SPEAKER_03We've gone to two this year. You've been badger hockey.
SPEAKER_05Why did you not invite us?
SPEAKER_03Well, I don't know. I was invited though, so that's it. Well, that doesn't help. It was fun. It was incredible fun. Not as much fun as it would have been with you guys, but oh yeah. Because we'd be swearing the whole time.
SPEAKER_04There's slapping the glass.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. You suck.
SPEAKER_04The only job would be to go get Gene a beer. That'd be it. I just go get Gene.
SPEAKER_03And they serve beer at uh Badger hockey games now. All right. Sounds good. Yeah, I think. Not that she drinks much, so she doesn't really.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_03That sounds good. Here we go.
SPEAKER_04Oh, wait a minute. You understand? What? Nothing.
SPEAKER_00Rick Ramirez. Yes? We don't know what he'll do.
SPEAKER_04That's right.
SPEAKER_00It's a mystery.
SPEAKER_03Well, I've been saving this one since uh October 2012. Minnesota Man, I don't know if you guys heard about this, but I'll tell you what. I I get so excited during the fall because I w I just love these massive melons that pop up all over the place. You know what I mean? Melons? Yeah, you do. Like, you know, pumpkins and gourds and all this stuff that people grow.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_03Really? I know where you went with that. I think you're just saying that. I think you're just saying that at the moon storyline. Massive melons. So Minnesota man smashes the world record with a 2,749-pound pumpkin. We saw it at Dollywood. He said it was quite the feeling. As he explained.
SPEAKER_05Up there in Minnesota, eh?
SPEAKER_03Can you imagine cleaning that? Rubbing his pumpkin. It was quite the feeling rubbing this pumpkin because he it's the largest. Yeah. That's uh this guy's so excited. Um they have seedless pumpkins. I uh there are some monster seeds in this one, I bet. Okay. I don't know if they have seedless pumpkins. Why would they have seedless pumpkins? I don't know.
SPEAKER_05Well, they have seedless watermelon, but it taste as well.
SPEAKER_03So a 2,749-pound jack-o'-lantern, jack-o'-lantern gourd took first place at the 50th World Championship pumpkin way off. Half Moon Bay, California. I did not know they had to take the. So how the hell do you ship a 2,749-pound jack-o'-lantern without crushing it?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, how do you forklift in uh when we went to Dollywood, they had all the winning pumpkins for the phone.
SPEAKER_02Oh, so this was down there?
SPEAKER_04But not no, what they do is they take the measurements of it and they ship out the measured components of the pumpkin. So you don't see the real pumpkin, you see a copy of the pumpkin. Yeah. So it's it's copied in its in its visual size, but not the weight, because that would be silly.
SPEAKER_03So that would be kind of odd.
SPEAKER_04And they do make seedless pumpkins. And they do. Wow. Yeah. White pumpkins uh new to see blue. Do they have blue pumpkins? I didn't know that. Blue pumpkins. Blue or blue-green pumpkins.
SPEAKER_03So how much do you think a winner of this competition takes home to grow the biggest pumpkin at this competition? Uh I'm gonna go uh $500. $500. That's a good guess. Good guess.
SPEAKER_05Really?
SPEAKER_03It's a good guess. Not right, but it's a good guess. You can have good guesses.
SPEAKER_05Five grand?
SPEAKER_03Five grand. All right, Amy, better guess. The way off winner took home $30,000 for first place. Wow. Double what he spent on caring for the gourd, he says. He um his name was uh, what was his name? I don't remember his name. I wonder if he should be testing for steroids, maybe the big gourd guy. Can you do a steroid test? On the pumpkins?
SPEAKER_05So he was saying laugh.
SPEAKER_03He said, I was not expecting that. It was quite the feeling. Um breaking the world record.
SPEAKER_04There's gonna be more rules.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, we gotta grow some bigger melons.
SPEAKER_04Lance Armstrong was a big hero mine until we found out that one bald son of a bitch. Steroid.
SPEAKER_03Steroid. Well, you push harder with less ball. Yeah. So this guy who won, though, here's the thing. He has been growing pumpkins since he was a teenager. Ah. Um, he decided to take extra good care of his pumpkins by watering them up to 12 times daily and giving them more fertilizer. So this guy's never kissed a girl then. He's also saying.
SPEAKER_05No wonder he's excited about his melon. Right.
SPEAKER_03Look at my gourd. Oh my gourd. He's uh he's also a horticulturist, so it's kind of cheating, isn't it? No. Isn't that a plant person?
SPEAKER_04Well, I that's that's what I'm thinking. Isn't Miracle Grow basically steroids for plants? I mean, if the if if everyone can use it, then we're okay. Right. Yeah. But whenever there's money involved, you know, like in sports, no steroids.
SPEAKER_03So yeah, 30 grand to grow a pumpkin, I guess I'd water it up. I wonder if there's a day.
SPEAKER_04I wonder if there's a way to get a cheat at that. There's no way to cheat. Like, what would you get called? Like, what would it be disqualified?
SPEAKER_05Fill it full of concrete or water or something.
SPEAKER_04Okay, I could beat the size, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I suppose they have to weigh it.
SPEAKER_05It's size or is it weight?
SPEAKER_03It's the weight. All right. And this thing was, he said it was perfectly round. It was like a beautiful basketball. So he actually he actually called it Michael Jordan. Why? Because it's the year 2023. Yeah. And 23 was Michael Jordan's number. I he had some weird obsession with Michael Jordan. Yeah. But it it didn't end up that way. It's half, it's really flat and kind of disgusting. It doesn't look like a pumpkin at all. Okay. Looks like a whale. Yeah. Looks like it looks like a little whale, a round whale with no tail or any spins or anything. Just kind of. So what uh what's what's happening right now out in the world in Wisconsin, especially?
SPEAKER_05What is going on right now, Rick?
SPEAKER_03Hunting. Big time for hunting, right? Well, hunting. It woke over kind of over. Um here's a here's a great story about hunting, though. Let's celebrate the hunting world, people who love to kill everything.
SPEAKER_05Usually they find dead bodies in the friggin' but I haven't heard anything.
SPEAKER_03This couple will change your mind about if you have any you know nasty thoughts about hunting. I'm I'm not a hunter. I I'm not a hunter. I don't really like killing anything. But I just don't like getting up early. So I like venison. I'd love venison. Yeah, my brother-in-law does it. I agree. That is so good. But I I'd rather just go to the store to pick it up. Pulling dragging things out of the woods and uh no. Yeah, the getting up early, no. A Nebraska woman begs a marriage proposal shortly after killing a big buck on a hunting trip.
SPEAKER_05Dumb.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god, they have a cold cool. Amy doesn't like that. I have a whole incident summary for the year 2020. This is awesome. I didn't know they had this. For what? Of all people that have gotten hit by a bullet during the hunting season.
SPEAKER_02Are you serious? Yeah. Like in our area? Yeah, for the whole thing of Wisconsin. Look at these. So there's a lot?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, because public hunting line is. I gotta read some. Illinois. Go ahead, Rick. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_03That's scary. That's scary. Okay, well, with that in mind, with all the people getting shot out there, apparently, a Nebraska woman bagged a marriage proposal earlier this month, bagged, um along with a big buck during a recent deer hunting trip. Um, she said uh her boyfriend not only gave her the first shot at the deer, they had spotted on a trail camera south of Lincoln, but then surprised her by popping the question in the middle of a photo shoot while the prize trophy hung by its neck. That's great. Uh giant buck with 11 tines on one side of its antlers and nine on the other.
SPEAKER_05Oh crap.
SPEAKER_03So it's like a twenty what is that? 19, 11 plus 9. What is that? 20, right?
SPEAKER_0511 plus 9?
SPEAKER_03Oh, is that what is that? 20, right? No, you just confused me. I I'm I'm dumb.
SPEAKER_05It's weird though, 11 on one side must have broke off.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it was a little off.
SPEAKER_04That's insane.
SPEAKER_03Everybody says, uh everybody has been saying, well, yeah. Um they would have married him too if they would have let him take the big sh the first shot of the big deer. So a lot of friends are coming to her.
SPEAKER_05But now she'll never live that down.
SPEAKER_03She'll never live that down too. Because he lets you shoot the deer. Yeah. So you owe him everything.
SPEAKER_05I owe you shit.
SPEAKER_03Uh in three years of dating, one thing the couple has bonded over was their shared love of hunting and skinning animals together. Boy, this is gonna be one positive family. So that's what they're looking forward to. Now, how about these other gun hunting shooting? Oh you mean accidents? Accidents.
SPEAKER_02Are you looking for the words? Yeah. Look at this is awesome. I never knew that that was a thing that did. Uh here, here is they got the injury description and then the synopsis.
SPEAKER_04This is awesome. I'm gonna read. Look at this. Is this from this year? This is from this year. I got 10. So here's uh injury description impaled with arrow to the face. Oh, a guy spelled hunter wrong. He spelled it Hooter. So I'm gonna read it as he has it here. It says Hooter attempted to fire at a carp.
SPEAKER_05Shooter.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Oh, is a shooter? Oh, Amy's. Come on. We are the most unmanly men. Amy has to step out. Amy's got it all. I'll take sports.
SPEAKER_02We've all lost.
SPEAKER_05Smooth brain.
SPEAKER_04No more testosterone.
SPEAKER_05It's gone. Shooter after hooters.
SPEAKER_04The hooter attempted to fire at a carp, and the arrow released. Yeah, a carp.
SPEAKER_05A carp?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05You don't shoot arrows at carp?
SPEAKER_04Uh and the arrow released a few inches, uh, released a few inches, struck something, and returned back at the shooter and hit him in the right cheek. I guess that'll How could that be? Okay. Bullet entry and exit wound to the back of the head. Both hunt both hunters were squirrel hunting uh in the same party.
SPEAKER_05Squirrels? What did squirrels ever do to anybody?
SPEAKER_04Shooter saw and shot at squirrel. Instead, he struck the victim in the back of the head.
SPEAKER_03He wasn't aiming at the squirrel then. Come on. Right? Oh, shoot, I'm sorry. Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_05Turn your face around. Look over there.
SPEAKER_04This guy's got his wife. He found his wife's diary.
SPEAKER_05Attempted assassination, my friend.
SPEAKER_04Damn. Crossbow discharged after victim had placed and cocked crossbow down to check the trail. A bolt entered the victim's ankle and exit. Oh, and exited through the foot. Oh, ouch.
SPEAKER_05Oh, these are a compound bowl. Like that's just doesn't trigger off by itself.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh. Like that's got huge out of it. So that's like, hey, what you doing, Charlie?
SPEAKER_04All right, now so here's some stupid one. Victim was crossbow hunting and had a handgun with as protection. The handgun was in their front pocket. Protection from what? The hand's probably the handgun was in their front pocket. Pissed off deer. The victim reached in the pocket to warm their hands. Oh idiot. And the firearm discharged them in the upper leg.
SPEAKER_02Upper leg. Oh, yeah, right. Safety. Safety first. Uh what is this now?
SPEAKER_05He's got a handgun.
SPEAKER_04These are all things that can be avoided. I'll read one more here.
SPEAKER_05Uh dumb ways to die.
SPEAKER_04The victim walk into his tree stand and he went to adjust his rifle sling over his midsection. When he was adjusting the sling, he pulled off and triggered discharging the rifle into his right foot.
SPEAKER_02A rifle? Oh no.
SPEAKER_04There's one more guy accidentally hit his wife in the Where? Accidentally. It's an accident, he says. Of course, maybe now she'll want to cook for him when he gets home. You know what I'm saying? And they just readjust their life insurance too.
SPEAKER_05It's an accident.
SPEAKER_04What's current, darling? Let's go hunting together. Oh my God. No, let's not. I feel so awful. But I'm still feeling good at this current time. Yeah. Well, I'm glad we all came back. This was fun. Yeah, I got one more. Oh, yeah, no, no, no. I got one more.
SPEAKER_03Out of nowhere. This is this is for this is for both of you that I know you'll appreciate this.
SPEAKER_05No golf.
SPEAKER_03Rory McElroy's ball lodges in the lap of a spectator at the World Tour Championships. His golf ball.
SPEAKER_05That's why I have sports. So we don't talk about golf.
SPEAKER_03But his golf ball landed in her lap between her legs. Okay. So get this. It was the most awkward lie of the day for Rory McElroy. Four-time winners, T-shot on the par three, 13th hole at the World Champ Champions Tour Championship, landed in the lap of a female spectator as she lay on the grass to the right of the green. Amid much laughter, the rest of the spectators retreated. But the woman remained lying down, with her feet crossed and the ball lodged between her legs. McElroy went up to her, scratched his head, then feigned a shot to the amusement of the gallery. McElroy stood back and said, Right, arm referee. I guess that's how they spelled his accent. Right, arm referee. So they let him That's how they spelled it in this article. Right.
SPEAKER_04I'm sure you're reading it correctly.
SPEAKER_03Referee, right.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh referee uh arrived and gave McElroy a drop, saying basically it's the spot underneath her. So he said, Okay, you can get up, ma'am. A laughing McElroy said to the woman who handed him the ball that was stuck between her legs, and her phone number stood up, picked up her bag, and returned to the gallery to cheers. McElroy chipped onto the green and wound up making bogey. Yeah, what's bogey?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, no one cares.
SPEAKER_03Bogey, one over. Like you can get a par, but bogey is over. Is it one over or is it one under? Yeah, birdie's one under, bogey's one over. We'll all go golfing sometime, we'll teach you. Sure.
SPEAKER_04Yay. I'd rather shave my arm hair with a slinky. That's what you gotta stop making. What is that? All right.
SPEAKER_05Your crap's loose.
SPEAKER_04All right. Well, that's what happens when you're off for a year.
SPEAKER_05So shit breaks.
SPEAKER_04Anyway. Thank you everyone for stopping by.
SPEAKER_05Woohoo!
SPEAKER_04Merry Christmas to everyone. No, no more go.
SPEAKER_05Merry Christmas. We'll see you next year. Next Christmas.
SPEAKER_04We're gonna try and get some more radio time in the year. Uh maybe do another one uh and uh see you in a couple weeks. Yeah, yeah, we'll do that. That sounds good to me. Bye everyone. Have a good one. Have a holly jolly one.