Dam Beaver Podcast
News and History commentary. Plugs for local comedy and theater, in the Beaver Dam WI Area.
Dam Beaver Podcast
Episode 76
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First C-Section, Pickelball fight, Poop your way to a better memory with Rick!
What the hell?
SPEAKER_01Alright. Okay, well we're still. Jesus. When will this become a professional podcast? Sorry.
SPEAKER_03Deep breath, man.
SPEAKER_01Working with kindergarten. It's the Damn Beaver Podcast. Hey everybody. We are back again. Hey!
SPEAKER_03Whether you like it or not.
SPEAKER_01We're a little rusty, as kind of we always are, because we always seem to just meet I got you when we can. Okay. That's what?
SPEAKER_00I got it. I got it. You got it? I got your email. I didn't get your email. Why didn't anyone take my assignments fucking? No, I was I was taking it seriously.
SPEAKER_01Hold on.
SPEAKER_03I just think of it today. It's a good thing.
SPEAKER_01We're all we're all a little we're all a little stressed out. We're working on uh Shrek the musical here in the Shrek? I'm not right now. I know you're not. But your your your boyfriend is. Yes. Yeah. Donkey. He's Donkey. Uh well Donkey. Who's the cute little donkey? Rick is Shrek, and then I am uh the cross dressing wolf. My costume. Which I love, by the way. I I yeah, I'm also the guy who runs into the wall. They uh they looked at my acting history and they said, Oh yeah, that's that's him right there. We're gonna smash him into the wall. But uh my costume is going to be 3,000 degrees uh coming at the end of July and August. Uh so I I think I'm gonna purchase some of those uh things to go around your neck, like the cooling things, you know. Yeah, I should probably get that too.
SPEAKER_00I've got a rubber head that's gonna be going over my face. Yeah, I saw that.
SPEAKER_01Can you and they said that you have a hard time hearing in that too.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, my ears are gonna be covered. Oh I'm gonna have a prosthetic nose. Oh my god. So I won't be able to breathe here or well, I'll be able to see. So that that's really the only important part.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. They've had a hard go of it because they couldn't find a choir director like right away, so they kind of just threw poor Judy in there about too. She did great. I mean, she did. So far, it's going really good. I just recorded all of her stuff so that I I know how to work on it. But they're it's getting there. And the kids, man, they're they're doing great. They get it almost immediately, but they're always like talking during the important parts for us because they have all the time in the world. They don't work, Rick. They don't have to be able to do that. No, they do not.
SPEAKER_00No, they don't. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01They don't work.
SPEAKER_00They're they're snotty little but they know everything.
SPEAKER_03So you got hey, I'm their summer vacay, man.
SPEAKER_00I know. You're right. They are they are using their summer vacation at community theater rehearsal. I'm sorry. They're doing great. Kids are great. All right. They are, but I mean pay attention, but they're fine.
SPEAKER_03They're gonna turn on you, man.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like they listen, they're never gonna they'll never listen to this. That there's no way. Their parents oh no, they won't either. Anyone over 40, they don't listen to. That's that's just how it is. They they got everything. So uh anyway, uh as you know, uh in healthcare, uh, we are not allowed to say uh according to HIPAA, we're not allowed to do anything uh to we can't mention people, we can't do anything. However, um I I I think it was the second uh week of uh X-ray school. Uh I was in the OR and uh we were doing what's called C arm work, and we usually do that for people with spines or tricky procedures or whatever, and some of the rules for the surgical areas the ladies can't wear any jewelry and you guys can't wear any rings and so on and so on. That makes sense. You don't want to drop it in just a little bit. Yes, and they do what's called a count, so they count all these sponges and tools and everything before, and then they do a count again, and all of the these instruments have to equal each other so that they know they didn't leave anything in the patient.
SPEAKER_03And then that would never happen.
SPEAKER_01And then afterwards, I have to go in, I'll do an x-ray of the entire abdomen from top to bottom to see if there is any tools left in there. And so that was what I was doing on that particular day. Well, I had taken uh they let me go in and to to take a picture of the patient's out cold. Uh, and I took the x-ray, and I saw a picture of a mini mouse dancing on her pancreas. Uh it was a white silhouetted mini mouse. And apparently one of the girls was wearing her uh mini mouse earrings. Oh no. And it fell into the Into the patient. Into the patient.
SPEAKER_03That's sterile.
SPEAKER_01So they had to go in and get that, and I believe the nurse was reprimanded. And uh it was one of my more funner stories that I've had. Well, I just saw this woman. Uh this has been twenty years ago almost now. Did you ruin her career? Uh she had come in to uh I was working at uh another clinic that I work in Madison on on Fridays, and she had come in to do uh because I at this particular place I do drug testing. So I do a lot of uh urines and hair collects, and I also do x-ray there for them as well. And I saw her. Uh this particular lady, and she wasn't looking too good. So I'm wondering if if if she had not bounced back from that. You know, I felt bad for her, but uh you know, you you can't wear earrings in a war, is all I'm saying. Probably a bad idea.
SPEAKER_00I mean Well I there's a reason they do it. Like the Seinfeld episode with the uh mint.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, the junior mint.
SPEAKER_00The junior mint. Who doesn't want a junior mint?
SPEAKER_01I used to those were my favorite go-to when I was uh popcorn, and then they would have Oh yeah. So Amy, you're a nurse. Did you ever work in the R?
SPEAKER_03I mean you uh no, I didn't work in the OR.
SPEAKER_01Okay, that wasn't it.
SPEAKER_03I sent people to the OR.
SPEAKER_01Like on purpose for orthopedic because I know you you do have a short fuse sometimes, so we have to What I don't know what you're talking about. Also, uh so uh Kelly uh has been a big book reader as well. She had uh just one of her friends bought her a Kindle, so she was getting used to that.
SPEAKER_00She know what you're talking about her on this? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01This is completely legit. It's legit. So I got permission.
SPEAKER_03Everything else is not.
SPEAKER_01No, everything has to go by the committee before I'm gonna go. But she's always been, you know, she's she reads a ton of books. She's in book clubs, she's all the stereotypes of the book reader person, right? So uh uh they got her kindle, she's getting into it. Uh one of the gals had purchased a uh uh what's called a page turner. Have you guys heard of these? It's uh Is it naughty? No, no. Then she'd know. A book can be a page turner, but this is an actual page turner. In order to turn the swim, you just basically put your finger on it and swipe to the left, you know, like a regular page. Okay. This you just push a button and it turns the page for you, Amy. Oh isn't that a page?
SPEAKER_00Oh, an actual piece of paper? Now it's even though it's not the Kindle. Oh, it's on the Kindle. So it's Okay, I was gonna be very impressed. Sorry, I was looking at something.
SPEAKER_03Stick with the program. All right, Kindle, I see.
SPEAKER_01So it's on a Kindle, right? So it's for the epitome of the lazy, right? Oops. But what uh fascinated me about that, I wasn't surprised, was the um the marketing piece of paper that went with the page turner. Well, no, I need a drink of water talk with a second.
SPEAKER_00I still I would have been more impressed if it actually physically moved a piece of paper.
SPEAKER_03Page turner? That'd be pretty amazing. No, that's a page turner. That's a page turner.
SPEAKER_01Just a little like a little butterfly comes out and just you know, and then flits back onto the page.
SPEAKER_03That would be cool.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna read this to you, and I think I laughed for about a minute. This is the marketing that came with it. It says, Thank you for purchasing the page turner. We developed this page flipper mainly to make it easier for you to read ebooks. We usually use various e-readers, Kindle, etc., when reading for a long time. You must keep turning the pages with your hands. Oh my god. Which can cause your hands to be fatigued. With this product, you can relax and even put your hands under a blanket to read in the winter. Huh? Because you know that's the page turner doesn't need to be connected to Bluetooth. Just press the controller directly and you can switch to the next page freely.
SPEAKER_00Yes. It's like a little called crazy.
SPEAKER_01There's more. After using it, you will surely fall deeply in love with it. It supports all uh capacitive touch screens. If you have any problems using it, etc. And once again, we express our gratitude. Kindle people. Your hands are under the blanket, yeah. So you can turn your pages in the winter.
SPEAKER_03Because it's pretty hard. I would think your hands would get more fatigued from hanging on to the book or hanging on to the Kindle. Right.
SPEAKER_00I know. And then actually, so you must have a shelf or some kind of a bed shelf or something then So if you're lying down, I don't know. I don't have a Kindle.
SPEAKER_01There we go. That's what I meant. Like Rick, when you when you're you when you use your stuff for singing for you know, they you have to have that little holder. Gotta have holders.
SPEAKER_00You can't hold on to everything all day.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you gotta perform, man. Oh, I pictured was Kelly just eating a bag of chips, pushing her button on the thing, and just going, uh Or she could yell to you and say, Yeah, button. Yeah, button, and then I just come up and push it. Thank you, my lady. You are most kind. Just walk out. Um also I read this little story about these little shits uh in uh I think it was over in San Francisco where they have Waymo. Do you guys know what that is? Waymo? Waymo. It's uh it's I think it's driverless cars. Oh, they were uh they got drunk, got into a Waymo, uh, and were opening you know what, though, if I were a boy, this would be fun. I'm gonna not go lie. That's random. They would just open up the window and just shoot people with their pellet guns with uh and then the Waymo would just drive off.
SPEAKER_02Wow.
SPEAKER_01Wow. So the Waymo, people apparently there's videos in there. And so uh they posted something on Facebook for like everybody and said, Are these your kids?
SPEAKER_03And then whoops.
SPEAKER_01And just drove them to the police.
SPEAKER_03Do you know where your kids are?
SPEAKER_01Do you know where your damn kids are? Wow. So it's kind of ballsy. Then they drove them to the police, but then it sparked this whole big controversy. Listen, they know everything that's going on in there. Is that a thing of privacy? Because you can't record sound if I believe. Amy, you were law, right?
SPEAKER_03How about that? You're you're you're I think those are all changed. Everything's you're gonna be able to see everything and hear everything. Wow. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Doesn't shock me. I I am I am I am not surprised.
SPEAKER_03Well just shut the car off now, right? The new thing.
SPEAKER_01Did you see now I know this is your territory, I'm right, but apparently uh there's this big thing with the soccer players saying, Don't don't bring home any ranch dressing.
SPEAKER_03Oh, the ranch dressing, yeah, yeah. Apparently everybody's fallen in love with ranch dressing, which apparently they don't have in Europe. So now they're trying to sneak at home on their suitcases.
SPEAKER_01And it has to be like over a certain amount of like one guy has the tomatoes and one one place where there's no produce. To the to the to the airport. To the home. And then what else did you just say? Well, did you say one midfield diet? We were just talking before.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah, there was some breaking news. Um let's see.
unknownHang on.
SPEAKER_00Just so you know I don't want to take out that ranch dressing story because that was assigned to me, but it's gone. That's okay. You can allow you to stretch it more.
SPEAKER_01You're not supposed to say that during the case. Oh, I'm sorry. No, it's not away.
SPEAKER_03No, we're leaving it at the World Cup midfielder.
SPEAKER_00I didn't mean to laugh.
SPEAKER_03They do not have a cause of death yet.
SPEAKER_01Really?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Jeez. Maybe it's the heat.
SPEAKER_03I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I'm just working on it. Probably suicide. Oh, that sucks. Man. All right. Are you ready?
SPEAKER_03Am I ready?
SPEAKER_01It's time.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_01We were getting into medical stuff, and I just uh remember looking up this story a long time ago.
SPEAKER_03The ranch dressing thing, yeah.
SPEAKER_01No, no, the I I did. I was working on that for a long time. To the to the minimus hearing.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's funny.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's uh yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So we thought. What? Beat you with my shoe. We thought Julius Caesar was the first. He was not. I'm not referring to children given birth by what we now call Caesarean section, right? Everybody knows what it is. Traditionally, it uh tradition has it that Julius Caesar was born this way, and no historian is going to stake his reputation out because that we don't really know, right? So the first recorded Caesarean section, uh, by which both mother and baby survived was performed in Switzerland, of course, because the Swiss are geniuses. Uh in in 1500 by a man named Jacob. His accomplishment uh was a medical milestone. His skill uh was most remarkable for his stay, and necessity uh was the mother of invention, before he accepted the case uh that no one else would take. Because, you know, if you don't do it, it's murder, and if you do do it, you know, it's it's it's it's either make or break, right? So, according to Greek mythology, uh this uh I can't pronounce this name, a skeptopolo? A skeptapolar.
SPEAKER_03Try it again.
SPEAKER_01A scoopaius. Oh, a scoop, yeah. Yeah. Shut up. You're not looking at it. Was cut from the body of his dead mother by the sun god Apollo. And that was the legendary precedent for Caesarean section, later to be repeated in uh fable and in reality. Until 1500, however, Caesarean section was at best a half-succession operation. Even when the child was saved, the mother kind of died in order to qualify for surgery, was usually already dead. So, in other words, they couldn't take the baby out until the mom was dead. So that's just that's just how they did it. And in AD 1500, only eight years before, the world was about to believe, uh back then they also believed that the world was flat, believe it or not. And now modern surgical procedure was about to be demonstrated. The subject's name was Frau Neufer.
SPEAKER_02I am Paul Bruchel.
SPEAKER_01Nice. Sorry, it's Frau Neufer. That's awesome. It's Frau Brucker. Miss Neufer was an attractive young Swiss woman, apparently healthy in every way, and there was no indication that her labor was going to be a difficult one. But it was, and the child was overdue, and Miss Newfer was bedridden and in agony for days, and her midwives panicked and summoned the surgeons. And in keeping with medical practices of the dawning 16th century, Miss Newfer's physicians refused to perform surgery, which might save her life because she was not yet dead. Oh. Remember, they can't do it. It was Sounds familiar. It was better this way, they said, at least the unborn child would have a chance. Uh his name, uh, Jacob. Jacob disagreed. So Miss Newfer did not have to die, and he told uh the others she was young and strong, and an operation might be performed before crisis had been reached. Uh see, thus saving both the mother and the baby.
SPEAKER_03Yay.
SPEAKER_01Uh and at this suggestion, and not wishing to be considered uh the accomplices in the murder of Miss Newfer, the surgeons left. Uh, and Jacob was all alone. Uh, and with the frightened midwives there and with the delirious mother, right? They just hey, see ya. Was the longest shot in the world, never before attempted. So Jacob would try with uh with the confident ease to mask his own apprehension as he removed the instruments from his bag. If he succeeded, he would be a hero, and if he failed, they would consider it murder, right? Mm-hmm. Uh within the hour, uh, Jacob emerged with Miss Newfer's room, uh, from Miss Newfer's room, uh a hero. His patient was alive, safe, and resting comfortably, and was and uh as was her newborn child. Now the surgical surgical success achieved by Jacob in 1500 would not be repeated with frequency and safety until the development of modern medicine. So Miss Newfer was pretty lucky as well.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01She lived to bear other children without complications, dying at the age of 77. How do you like that? And beyond the skill of Jacob and the luck of his patient, there was another factor. Something special, uh, which might have influenced the outcome of this remarkable operation, uh, which was first documented as the most successful Caesarean. And that something was love. For Jacob was not a doctor at all. He was the woman's husband. Oh, and the father's child. And Jacob knew for surgical instruments were the equipment for gilding cows, his profession? A hog butcher. Oh. What do you think of that?
SPEAKER_03That's kind of crazy. I'm surprised she didn't die of sepsis. I'm needing, right?
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, that is nuts.
SPEAKER_03So and I was I wonder how they closed it up.
SPEAKER_01Like, I was thinking about all these achievements and stuff, and you know, Mozart died at 29, and he's got all this stuff, you know, under his belt. And, you know, I'm 57. I think I have a degree, and I can talk pretty good, but that's about it, right? That's all I'm doing. So you know, it's too late to restaff, isn't it, Rick? There's just no way can't get rid of her now when you're gonna be able to do it. Taking my microphone with me. Oh, if he takes that microphone, we're done. I'm taking my football home. So uh in keeping with that, there had to be somebody out there who achieved something more than Mozart did uh as far as music, but in this world it's engineering, all right? So uh we're gonna call him uh Othmar. It's Othmar Amman was an engineer for the Port of New York Authority, and he wanted out. But he has good years ahead of him, so there's no reason not to quit, so he quit. That's pretty much pretty much Jitsi's situation here. Come on. Ignoring the risks of leaving a secure job, Othmar Amman decided he would form his own engineering company and he would open offices around the world. He would fulfill his designer's dreams and would perform architectural miracles. And he did. Emerging from the comfort of his port authority position, he set out on his own. But because Othmar Amman was not afraid to take that big step, the world is graced with many magnificent monuments to his memory. Are you ready? Sit back. The airport. Okay. He did an airport in Ethiopia. He did the Dulas Airport in Washington, D.C., the Iranian highway system. What? The Connecticut and New Jersey Turnpikes.
SPEAKER_03Weird.
SPEAKER_01The Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Civic Center Superstructure, the U.S. Navy's 600-foot radio telescope, the Walt Whitman Bridge in New York, the Throg's Neck Bridge in New York, and the world's longest suspension bridge expanding from Staten Island to Brooklyn. Uh the Veron I can't look this up. The Veronzo Neros. The Verrazano Neros. Why designers, architects, and engineers are still talking about Othmara Amon is obvious, but there is more. The master builder Otmar Amon was born in Switzerland. Again, Swiss. He came to the United States at the age of 25. He had studied the Federal Polytechnic Institute in Zurich and was prepared to take the world of engineering by storm. He wound up working for the Port of New York Authority. His youthful accomplishments had been considerable, yet he would never have the freedom to explore the phenomenal reservoir of his intellect while working for someone else. So in 1939, Uthmar left his comfortable Port Authority position to form his own engineering company. Um there's well, you know the rest. He succeeded in his independence. Yeah, yeah. I just told you, he staggered the staggered the students of architectural design with the masterpiece after masterpiece. Oh I see. He etched his name in steel and stone across the continent and then across the globe. Two of his accomplishments, I sorry, were the New York George Washington Bridge and the San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge. Jesus. So then uh those were completed before his retirement. After he retired. So I say retirement, but for the true engineering marvels of Othmar Amman, the accomplishments for which he is most revered by today by all engineers, all of the monumental masterworks testing the genius of Amon were begun and completed between the time he, as a senior citizen, retired at the age of 60.
SPEAKER_03Must be nice.
SPEAKER_01Uh to the age that he completed the longest bridge in the world at 86.
SPEAKER_02Jesus.
SPEAKER_01So he did all of this between 60 and 86 years old. Dang. Whoo-hoo. Now I feel excuse. All I want to do is uh get some floss and get this piece of meat out of the back of my That's all I can do right now.
SPEAKER_00That's an accomplishment. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03That's a goal.
SPEAKER_00But it's annoying, you know. It sticks to the back there. I know it's appealing.
SPEAKER_03I have a piece of tea. It's been a good piece of chicken. I have a piece of tea stuck in my teeth.
SPEAKER_02Amy totally rocks.
SPEAKER_03Hey, we're doing sports.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I'm throwing you into it. All right.
SPEAKER_03Well, I guess we'll start out with this other thing you sent me. Because of course. What? Freaking Florida.
SPEAKER_01All right.
SPEAKER_03Freaking old people. No, I'm just kidding. But yeah, Florida. Pickleball brawl.
SPEAKER_00Well, that's another one I was supposed to do. All right.
SPEAKER_01I was sports. I kind of threw it back.
SPEAKER_00I gotcha. No, I gotcha. I know what's going on now.
SPEAKER_03Twenty people. Twenty old people got into a fight over a pickleball game because somebody stepped into the kitchen, which is apparently you're not supposed to do that. And they started punching each other and then hitting each other with the paddles. What? People went to the hospital.
SPEAKER_00Because pickleball is an older type thing, right? You can play whenever. Well, I'm 55. I feel older.
SPEAKER_03People end up with the injuries.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03But this is like they're facing felony battery charges. For pickleball? For pickleball? Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Margaret, I have a bad hat of your bullshit. Stepped on the line.
SPEAKER_03You're playing too fast. Stepped on the line. So this one guy was 63, his wife was 51. We were arrested for multiple people sustaining injuries. They're younger than we are. Including a 70-year-old man. A what? 70? Including a 70. Because they assaulted a 70-year-old. The match got heated after this guy accused his opponent of crossing into the kitchen, a restricted area of the court. The team exchanged verbal insults before he punched one of the victims and struck him in the face with a pickleball paddle.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_03Probably went to the hospital. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's probably a teacher telling kids to use their words.
SPEAKER_03And then a 70-year-old tried to break up the fight, and then he got pounded.
SPEAKER_00Oh my God.
SPEAKER_03What? It says one of the victims transported by EMS with a laceration above his eye may result in permanent scarring.
SPEAKER_00Why are we laughing? I just I don't know. It's pretty sad, but frickin' geez.
SPEAKER_03Wow. Stick it with a line.
SPEAKER_00So growing up doesn't always happen or maturing. Were they betting money on the game?
SPEAKER_03I don't know. Insulting 70-year-olds.
SPEAKER_00I've never tried to pick a ball, and I'm not attempting to do it now. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01There's not there's not much you could do.
SPEAKER_00Who knew it was that competitive? I never knew that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it can be a little out of hand right now.
SPEAKER_03So it's just some big things. Poor Giannis and Portis got traded to Miami Heat.
SPEAKER_01I heard that.
SPEAKER_03Giannis sent out, I don't know if any of you guys saw that. Wait, Giannis? Auntie Ducumpo? Yeah. He's no longer a buck. They traded his ass. I missed this. What? See what happens when we're in a show.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, him and Portis got trans. And then he put out a big video, and I'm like, holy man. Sometimes doing the right thing should be better than money, but apparently that's not the case anymore.
SPEAKER_00So he went for money.
SPEAKER_03No, he didn't.
SPEAKER_00He didn't.
SPEAKER_03The Bucks did. Because then we traded him for like four new guys. And but Giannis is like, you know, this is a blue-collar town, and I came to work working hard, and I hope I represented the city and I'll always be part of Milwaukee.
SPEAKER_00I'm very upset about this. Yeah. I did not hear this. Portis did too. He did a lot of stuff. This is breaking news for me.
SPEAKER_03Oh my God. Anywho, so that kind of sucks.
SPEAKER_02Wow.
SPEAKER_03Um, Packers. Yeah. I'm excited for the season. No. Training camp starts July 27th. Wow. Family night, August 17th. Preseason first game is August 13th at the Steelers. So we play two away games, and then the last preseason game is at home against the Cardinals.
SPEAKER_01Have you been to a family night?
SPEAKER_03I have not.
SPEAKER_01I've been to one. Those are cool, actually. Do you have to have a family? I think you can just go. You can just go. But they're gonna they're gonna focus on the kids, right? I mean they're gonna look at you funny, but no.
SPEAKER_02Can you can you still do it?
SPEAKER_03Run you for warrants or whatever. No, like you can go. It's just yeah, it's just because they kind of do like a it's family-oriented ish. It's not another team, it's just they're kind of playing against each other.
SPEAKER_01Okay, with each other. Okay, okay. They're playing with each other. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But you get to go to Lambeau, you get to see some of the team, all that kind of stuff. It's more of a fun. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_03Um so our first game is at the Vikings.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's the opener?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's our opener. Of course. Um, NF and the NFL just released the top 100 like all-time players. Jordan Love is number 72. We're excited. Our new like cornerback, Brandon Sisi. I believe that's how you pronounce it. Excited for that. Vaness should be stepping up. He's our draft. He's one of our draft picks. Yep. And then um, they're saying Vanessa's gonna step up this year, so I'm excited about that. He's from the Hong Kong.
SPEAKER_00When does Parsons join? Rejoin, um, like mid-season.
SPEAKER_03Mid season. Midseason. So that'll be nice if he shows up. That'll be great.
SPEAKER_00Get a strong start. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. We gotta get our our center and our defense squared away. Um, so I'm excited about that. Packers are gonna be it's gonna be good, gonna be.
SPEAKER_00And the the biggest uh addition to the Packers. I mean, along sidelines, I don't know if you wanna To me, that's huge. That's the biggest acquisition of all time.
SPEAKER_03They got an inside, inside scoop now.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's right. Yes, that's the biggest, that's the biggest news. Amy though.
SPEAKER_03She hasn't really officially released it. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_00Well, okay. We'll just say we know a she that we may know personally that might be walking the sidelines at Lambeau Field. Correct. And other games. Yeah. Yeah. We'll release that at a later date. Does she take like bribery if we want to item?
SPEAKER_01She's right. Maybe a sock or sweatband, perhaps. Well, listen, if that those things are low-hanging fruit. I mean, if they leave it on the field, right? I mean, you know, I mean, you never know.
SPEAKER_03They just throw them away.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um The Badgers, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's a must.
SPEAKER_03The only exciting thing is they're playing at Lambeau against uh Notre Dame on September 6th. Yes, we still fickle. So that's like because they can't afford to buy out his contract.
SPEAKER_01Is that the coach? He sucks.
SPEAKER_03Um They do have a new athletic training. I'm not a big sport.
SPEAKER_01This is his year. Not a big sport.
SPEAKER_03So is he have we not like He hasn't lived up to what they thought he was going to, and they paid him a shit ton of money and now they can't really buy him up.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03So kind of stuck with him for a while.
SPEAKER_01You know, it's weird, like in the work world, if if something is going bad, they they get rid of the employee. But like in the in the world of sports, if something goes bad, they don't get rid of the players, they get rid of the coach.
SPEAKER_03Which is this guy's got it so I mean I'm sure they could wrangle up some money.
SPEAKER_01Right. But they ride it out now, might as well, I guess.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I don't know. Um so there's that. They're having special uniforms to honor Lambeau Field.
SPEAKER_00That'd be that'd be kind of that'd be kind of cool.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Notre Dame is too. Like they're both they're both having special uniforms for the game.
SPEAKER_01So I heard that uh and this is just the grapevine that the the you know you know the movie uh Rudy, where they they they're they're like treated like royalty, like but they also say that he's kind of a giant dick or what? He's kind of a douche when he comes in there.
SPEAKER_00You know, I took a tour of uh Notre Dame and I was asking that question.
SPEAKER_01What did they say?
SPEAKER_00The the lady actually the lady worked there that gave me a tour, and I was asking her, I'm like, so is this Rudy Rudiger? Is this you know, is he a big big name? And the second she rolled her eyes, uh, told me everything. But and she was just like Yeah, ever since that movie, yeah, yeah, he's been elevated himself to this. We tolerate him. Oh boy. Apparently, and then he's yeah, he thinks he's more royalty, and they're all just annoyed at him coming around and well, that clinches it. I got a source.
SPEAKER_03I mean, that's at least one game out for the Badgers. Yeah, that's the ultimate upset at Lambeau Field would be freaking sad.
SPEAKER_00That would be awesome. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But I'd even I'd probably even cheer for Ohio State over Notre Dame. And that's that's digging deep.
SPEAKER_00That's deep.
SPEAKER_03That's digging deep.
SPEAKER_01But that yeah, do you have a thing against Ohio State?
SPEAKER_03They they're assholes. Are they?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. This is all new to them. Well, Badgers can't beat them. That's I mean, that's what really they've dominated, but like they're very kind of I've been to a couple of games and they're gonna be like, You know what?
SPEAKER_03The fans are not nice. Cool. Okay. Most of them. A lot of them are not nice.
SPEAKER_01Oh man. The last game that I saw with my dad, I think was in '82, was I believe that was against uh Ohio State. Uh, and it was the first time uh my dad was a social worker, and we were getting in a van, and uh the rest of his people started smoking weed. Like social workers just to calm down. And my dad's like, he's like, no, no, no, no, Dan. You guys we're gonna 80s. Like, I got I had no idea. Dan wanted to toke up.
SPEAKER_03I don't know how great they were back in 82, but like, yeah, he he didn't know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but uh yeah. They they sucked in the 80s, though.
SPEAKER_03The badgers didn't play well either until like 90s and 2000s.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was that. And also the Packers. The Packers didn't do well in the 80s until Favre came. That was it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's all I know about.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they were in the Schneide for a while.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's you go on. I again I I know nothing. I'm just saying that's what I heard. That's what I heard. That's from beating. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03As far as the Hawkeyes, um, Kirk Ference, Ferriss, the coach, he is up for uh possible coach of the year. He's on the trophy rot. Trophy watch.
SPEAKER_00Rod.
SPEAKER_03Dodds. Gotta watch out for that trophy cross. Yeah, I'll tell you what. I didn't say never mind.
SPEAKER_01Especially if you have a trophy wife. Wow. What did I say?
SPEAKER_03Whatever. Brewers. Brewers are in first place. Central National League. We are. What?
SPEAKER_00Wow, that's awesome. You have to earn rehearsals. And this is why we're going to be able to do that. We're in a music sport. That's pretty much it.
SPEAKER_03Baseball? We're in first place. Wow. Yes. The All-Star game is this week.
SPEAKER_00Oh my God. That's you already.
SPEAKER_03Home run derby is the 13th, hosted at the Phillies.
SPEAKER_00Oh.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Two people from the Brewers are catcher William Contreras.
SPEAKER_00Contreras, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Who's freaking awesome? And pitcher Jacob the Miz. I just call him the Miz. But it sounds like he's not really going to play.
SPEAKER_00Oh, he's just going to go.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Watch him. Did he hurt himself?
SPEAKER_03Well, no, it's just we don't want him to get hurt. Oh. Yeah, don't throw your arm on.
SPEAKER_00Oh, he's a pitcher?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03He just broke like the highest speed. What was it, like 105, 104 miles an hour? It was insane.
SPEAKER_00Can you imagine trying to hit a ball like that coming at your face?
SPEAKER_03It was crazy. They basically don't.
SPEAKER_01Won't you just say Can I just get a moment to get in the box, please? Take a walk. Give me a second here. That's all you got is you don't have a second.
SPEAKER_00100 five miles per hour.
SPEAKER_03It's like I think he at first it was like 102 and it was 103. I want to say it was 104. I might have been the top speed. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's lightning. One guy said that uh the like he was a really good battery. He says 80 miles an hour, he said that he can see the stitches on the ball. He says 90, he can't see anything, but he can get uh a a guide on the path of it. He says when it's over a hundred, it's like watching a comet trail. Like you can you don't see matter. You can see the where it's been. And you almost have to start swinging as soon as it leaves the hand. Oh, yeah. You don't have to swing right away and then hope it's not changing. Hope it's not at your face. Yeah. Yeah.
unknownYeah. Pretty much.
SPEAKER_01You get being in the Jack Johnson with that. And none of those guys wear cups, I hear. They're like they're uncomfortable. That's what I heard. They're uncomfortable. The catcher wears a cup, I'm sure. I hope so. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure the catcher wears it. But from what I understand, they like they're uncomfortable. Same with the the football players. I heard that too. They hate wearing cups.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
SPEAKER_01That's what I heard. I don't know, man.
SPEAKER_03Again, I just would be.
SPEAKER_01Not checking it. Cup check. Did you did your coach or do that? Go through it like cup check, bam. Just nails you. Lanzus. I always wear my cup.
SPEAKER_03Nerd. Anyway, hockey. Hockey waiting for the season to start. Waiting, waiting, waiting. And it should start since September 29th. They're expanded to 84 games schedule now instead of 82. And then some quick little things. I checked into women's sports. I was just kind of messing around. Richest woman right now for women.
SPEAKER_01Is it uh oh what Caitlin?
SPEAKER_03No, Serena Williams.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's right.
SPEAKER_03We're going across $300 million. So disappointing. So then I looked at athlete of all time, who makes the most money? Michael Jordan, $3.8 billion. Makes $300 million look pretty small.
SPEAKER_01Well, also his mom made a good contract with the shoes.
SPEAKER_03So that was a good thing. Yeah, she's she's got a lifetime partnership with the Nike with Nike. He does?
SPEAKER_00He might Michael Jordan does. That's pretty good, pretty good deal. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So he made ninety-four million during his 16 seasons in the NBA back in the day, which now his lifetime thing with Nike is what's putting him into the billions.
SPEAKER_01Psychologist was talking that Michael has a heart. Like there's no way that he's going to get identified with anything other than being a basketball player at the time of sure.
SPEAKER_00If he wants to, I mean he could do a lot of good. You know, I hear that he's a longtime listener of our podcast. Michael, if you're out there listening, Dan could really use some updated equipment. I don't think so. A couple of microphones more. There's no way.
SPEAKER_03I think though LeBron James, like, he's got to be making some of the things. He's doing all right, probably like way more. I mean, but I guess it's two different time periods, too.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he's still not as big as a big thing.
SPEAKER_03LeBron James is making some big things.
SPEAKER_00Was Tiger up there? Do you have like a top five?
SPEAKER_03Uh no, I didn't really look at the top five. Tiger would be a big thing. But he's gotta pay money for Dull's DUI accidents.
SPEAKER_01He's a stuff. He had the world by the ball.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he did.
SPEAKER_00By the golf ball. Well. Yeah. So does somebody else appear on?
SPEAKER_03Wow.
SPEAKER_01Sorry. I see. So what about top five? Hold on.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. There were some other that's all right.
SPEAKER_01Oh, so we got a NASCAR uh top money earning athlete. So uh I got uh Cristano Rolando, which is soccer Portugal, 300 million. Oh, this must be.
SPEAKER_03Oh, and USA is out of soccer.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Men's soccer.
SPEAKER_01They were doing pretty good for a while. They made it inspiring.
SPEAKER_03They did better than I think people thought they did.
SPEAKER_00I was impressed, but I don't watch soccer. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Oh, one other quick thing. Well, I thought was pretty cool. For I mean, for the White Sox. Okay. Rookie Tristan Peters hit for the cycle against the Athletics. Wow. Marking the first time a Chicago White Sox player has accomplished the feat in nine years.
SPEAKER_01What does that mean?
SPEAKER_03Hitting a cycle is like ginormous. It's like you hit a single and a double and a triple and a home run all in one game.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03So it's like super hard to do.
SPEAKER_00Wow. Yeah, because sometimes you're not even up enough. Can you imagine if somebody bet on that? What they'd be like. Oh, if they did bet a cycle? If they bet five.
SPEAKER_03If he actually did it, and yeah. And then he's a rookie. He's a freaking rookie.
SPEAKER_00Oh, he's a rookie too, yet? Yeah. Now the rest of his career is crap. Yeah. He's got to live up to that.
SPEAKER_03You gotta live up to it everywhere. You're way up there. Doing a cycle today, right? Sure. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Where's the grand stamp? Just like Tiger. Started way up there. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And fell.
SPEAKER_03And then, yeah, succumb.
SPEAKER_01By the way, I enjoyed golfing when we went up to Door County. Dan swung his club.
SPEAKER_03Golf's stupid.
SPEAKER_01He he teed off. Dan? Listen, play.
SPEAKER_03I thought he was just gonna ride in the car.
SPEAKER_01I did. I did just ride in the car. I held the flags, but Rick tell him I am.
SPEAKER_00I was so excited that Dan got up and he was never gonna touch a golf ball. And he was he teed off. We let him tee off. He brought that driver back. Perfect form. Bullshit. Takes a swing, and we hear a noise, and we're all looking out down the fairway looking for the ball, and there's no ball. I looked down. Somehow he took this driver and he destroyed the T that the ball was on, but the ball went straight down. He never touched the ball.
SPEAKER_03How do you never touch the ball?
SPEAKER_01It's it's you gotta because golf sucks.
SPEAKER_03That's why.
SPEAKER_01It has nothing to do with the person. That T was shattered. But the ball never moved. It went straight down. You know how hard that is to do, Amy Watt? You suck it. That's what you do. I've never seen that before.
SPEAKER_03I have a baseball swing, so I can't. I don't have patience for soft or for golf.
SPEAKER_01Amy. You did a good job for sports. That's a lot of stuff. There's a lot.
SPEAKER_03There's a lot and there's more, but go ahead and do one more. No, that's okay.
SPEAKER_01Okay, you're good. Oh, yeah, I'm good.
SPEAKER_03I mean, we got Rick. Rick's gotta do his fun stuff.
SPEAKER_01Rick Ramirez. We don't know what he'll do. We don't know what he's gonna do. Uh also you have no music, Rick. I didn't.
SPEAKER_03I have music?
SPEAKER_01Here he didn't give me music. Here, I'll give you some music. Come on.
SPEAKER_03He's got the shaft.
SPEAKER_01Here you go.
SPEAKER_00There you go, Rick. That's not exciting. That's great. You love it. It's not exciting at all. No, actually, this actually works for the first thing I'm gonna talk about. Relaxative drugs. Supper connects. This music puts me in that mood. Like, time to go to the bathroom. Relax.
SPEAKER_01People love cheese, but it is nature's cork, especially here in Wisconsin.
SPEAKER_00Do you guys suffer from any kind of like depression or memory-related issues at our age? I have a scatter brain.
SPEAKER_01Uh-huh. But when I like uh uh something, I'm very passionate about it. I'm good at it. However, squirrel. Yeah. Yeah. I do squirrel. I can I can definitely go with it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Amy, foggy issues, kind of like losing attention sometimes. Yeah. Laxative drugs.
SPEAKER_03Talking about golf, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I'm with Amy most of the time, but it is funny. Laxative drugs could improve depression-related memory and attention issues. Isn't that awesome? No.
SPEAKER_03Because you have to run to the bathroom?
SPEAKER_00People with depression who find that it affects their memory or attention span could benefit from existing licensed drug currently used to treat chronic constipation. Now, this was published in the Psychological Medicine Today magazine, apparently, Monday, June 15th. So now constipation is when you can't go, right? Cannot go.
SPEAKER_01Okay, good.
SPEAKER_00Right. Plunked. Now, this research was uh led by Dr. Anger. No. Dr. Angerod Decades. How come Amy doesn't have any hard names to pronounce on bullshit?
SPEAKER_03I'm Giannis.
SPEAKER_00From the University of Birmingham, along with other colleagues from the University of Oxford. Yeah. Conducted a experimental study investigating whether a type of laxative could address cognitive issues. I wonder how you're. So the study suggests that a targeted serotonin, 5HT4 receptor medication, which you both are in the medical field, you know all about that. Sure. Okay. Already used for chronic constipation does improve cognitive functioning in people with a history of depression. In a closed blind study, blind double study, whatever that is. Right. Half of the people were given that stuff, the other half were drift given placebos. Right. And everybody apparently was able to crap normally at the end of it as well. That's good. And they were cognitively better off, except for the people because you weren't constipated. With the well, doesn't that clear the mind?
SPEAKER_03I mean, kind of.
SPEAKER_00I mean, to me, this whole thing was not sluggish.
SPEAKER_03If you're not worried about that.
SPEAKER_01When it's been a transaction that's happened and I leave, I'm like a transaction.
SPEAKER_00I come out and I'm I don't know about you guys, but if I've gone days without any, you know, movement, right? I can't think of anything else but that. Yeah. Yeah. Because I get up and I'm thinking, what if I'm, you know, up a ladder ten feet, right? And all of a sudden something hits you. Well, what are you doing? That's what I'm thinking of. So of course it's gonna clear up.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01So the issues that uh replace those antennas that are way up like those cell flowers? Yes.
SPEAKER_03Oh god.
SPEAKER_01When they have to go, diapers, they just go. Yes, they do. You know what they call it? Oh, wing. There's a term for it, Amy. It's called a mud falcon. Did you know that?
SPEAKER_00Do they pull their pants down and let it go or then?
SPEAKER_01They must. I don't know. I get it. I just got it now. Because it dives down.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So It's so disgusting. I'm just saying.
SPEAKER_01Go ahead. It takes a memo.
SPEAKER_00So don't ever hang out below like those windmills and stuff, the electrical. That's right. Well, that's all I got for that because that's making me sick. Yeah. I forgot. Next thing we can't talk about the ammo. Soup's on. Now talk about talk about constipation. What do you mean? Um, Thai beef noodle brew has been simmering for 45 years. What? There is a food that's old. What do you mean? There's a food that has gone bad, and then there's soup that has been simmering for 45 years.
SPEAKER_03How can that be a thing?
SPEAKER_00In Bangkok, where the tough guys tumble. Customers, yes. Exactly. Can't get enough of the latter, the uh old uh noodle soup, whatever this is. Right. I'm sorry, it's not noodle soup.
SPEAKER_03They keep just adding broth or what?
SPEAKER_00So at Watana Panich, a noodle soup joint in the trendy more difficult. God, here we go. The trendy Akamai neighborhood. Okay. Where third generation owner. Oh God, here we go.
SPEAKER_01Just say something before you stay out there. What I love about this is that nobody reads their shit ahead of time. I rehearsed this.
SPEAKER_00You did not. I've been working on it.
SPEAKER_01I read through mine, but I still got some shit wrong. I tried to get the flow, but that's what I like. We just don't, we just don't make any money and nobody cares. And I love it. Because and whoever listens to it, good for them. But if they don't, I'm fine. You know, I'm willing to pick it up. Exactly.
SPEAKER_03We're just defending a whole country.
SPEAKER_00We apologize. This has nothing to do with that you know international stuff. But I don't get your names. Here third generation owner, Nata Pong. No, not no, not yes, Nata Pong Kawia Tawong. Sorry if I've mispronounced your Ka wea Kawean Tawang wants to clear up what he thinks is a popular misconception about his beef soup. So he says, lots of people think we never clean the pot. He says, but we do clean it every evening. We remove the soup from the pot, then keep a little bit simmering overnight. Oh. So a little bit, he says. He's kind of cheating a little bit. Forms the stock of the next day's soup. So yes, at least a taste of what you put in your mouth is 45 years old and counting. Okay.
SPEAKER_03What the hell?
SPEAKER_00And that's in Bangkok. Bangkok. Where the tough guys tumbled? Yes. Anyone? Since my grandfather's time. It's from the musical chess. Go ahead, Rick. We've never really had a set recipe about how much of each ingredient to put in. No shocker there. Not to Fawn says. So the person making the soup will constantly have to taste it to know what needs to be added. There's no constipation medicine needed. This is why COVID started, okay?
SPEAKER_01This is the reason. It's because of this. Of the fish.
SPEAKER_03They keep dipping their fingers in it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And they just the the rule. I, you know, I'll take America. They do have uh, we're we're kind of a pain in the ass. I understand. But at least we have rules in place that kind of help out with this. At least we do for now. You know, like health goes and shit like that.
SPEAKER_03Do we anymore? I think we got rid of all that.
SPEAKER_01It's gone.
SPEAKER_03Hence the new crypto whatever is going around in Michigan.
SPEAKER_00The crypto sporidium. To make it tender, we cook the beef for around seven hours. Yeah. We put the whole thing into the pot so it absorbs all the flavors. Then after three hours, we take it out with out cleaning our hands and cut it into smaller pieces, then cook it for another four hours. So that's your job. It's been going on for 45 years.
SPEAKER_01I wonder if it's by the same people or if it's a family thing.
SPEAKER_00It's gotta be, right? It sounds like it's a family tradition. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01All right.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01Family tradition. We have we have a uh lemon cake at our house that we have that's a family tradition. That's that old? But we don't make it uh perpetually. I do make about two of them out of though.
SPEAKER_00But you don't leave stuff that you started ten years ago.
SPEAKER_01No, no, but it's this you know, it's kind of the same thing, right?
SPEAKER_00I found a I found a peach pit or whatever might have been out there for 90210? It was under the the uh oven. I didn't need it. But anyway, so now if you guys ever you when you guys bought your houses, did you uh do inspections, you know, check things? Yeah. We checked uh for radon now, too. Radon, stuff like that. Well, this lucky or unlucky couple.
SPEAKER_03Yik.
SPEAKER_00Um purchased a house in Connecticut.
SPEAKER_03What?
SPEAKER_00Now we got a word you can't pronounce any purpose. Connecticut. There you go.
SPEAKER_03Is it Connecticut? Or are you literally saying Connecticut?
SPEAKER_00It's Connecticut. It's Connecticut, but it's it's spelled Connecticut, right? Connecticut. Did you ever see the spelling again? Yes, I do. You're right, you're right. Right. Connecticut. They bought a foreclosed home and they found uh human remains located in the home. Oh.
SPEAKER_03In the walls or what? Or in the basement?
SPEAKER_00So the person who purchased the house was purchased as is. Connecticut home at auction discovered skeletal human remains inside. Though police do not believe foul play was involved. So that's the downside to auction housing. You're right. Sight unseen. State troopers were called to Stanwich Lane in Burlington after the new homeowners made the macabre discovery.
SPEAKER_03Where? Where were the skeletons?
SPEAKER_00Was it a whole skeleton? Um two skeletal remains. The medical examiner had not yet determined the cause of death or identified the remains as of Wednesday. There is no indication of anything suspicious and no indication of any criminal.
SPEAKER_03No suspicious of anything suspicious. No criminal access bodies in the house.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they just happen to be there.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_00It appears to be an in isolated incident. There is no danger to public at this time. It's probably waiting for a package or something.
SPEAKER_03Homicide, suicide, not worried about it.
SPEAKER_00The house was bought at auction for $525,000.
SPEAKER_03You still paid over half a million dollars?
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. Oh my God. Houses.
SPEAKER_03I think you could get a new house for that and not have dead people in it.
SPEAKER_00Now, there's a little connecting thing here. If bodies found in the house are those of the default borrowers who actually bought this house back in 2019, wow. Then court findings found uh findings against them and the auction order, according to court attorney, the children of these possibly deceased people who did own the house but went missing. Not nobody checked on the nobody said that they were missing. Right. This is the weird thing about this. But now, if they find that this is the actual owners of that house, the kids can get this house. The owner who just bought this is out the money. Or yeah. So despite the final hammer price of $525,000, it's probably actually worth more like $800 or more. Dollars. Says Thogmartin. Her haunted house. This Thog Martin guy. What is names? What's up with names? Anyway, so that's that. That's Thog Martin was looking into that. So now the kids might actually make more money because they are missing their parents.
SPEAKER_03But they never obviously they don't check on them.
SPEAKER_00They never checked on them. They probably are strange.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, probably. I'm here to collect my house.
SPEAKER_01Or they were bored to death golfing. That's they were well Connecticut. They were probably watching golfing. They do a lot of golfing in Connecticut. Have you been golfing in Connecticut? I've never been there. I've never been that East Coast park. That sounds too snotty, doesn't it? That would be the word correct.
SPEAKER_03I'm pretty sure I'd be underdressed.
SPEAKER_01Oh I found out you know what the fancy restaurants, they don't have any condiments on the table? Like the places where you spend over condiments? Yeah, because people steal them. But why do they have them at like Taco John's? You know, but they don't have like mustard and uh condiments. I don't like that word.
SPEAKER_03Because their food is so good that you wouldn't need the condiments.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00Condiments. I see where you're getting at. All right. Well, I have other things to have. I got something else. We'll get out there. I have 11 outrageous folk remedies to avoid. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Folk remedies to avoid.
SPEAKER_00Have you guys ever created your own remedies like to make yourself better if you're ill or anything? No. Well, if you have acne, don't do this. Urine, urine cures acne.
SPEAKER_03Oh god, no.
SPEAKER_00It's apparently a false claim. Early American settlers had some pretty strange notions that when it came to eradicating acne, they would urinate upon themselves during urine outbreak. Sorry. Not urine outbreaks.
SPEAKER_01Now you gotta pay for something like that online if you want that.
SPEAKER_03Isn't there a thing like back in the day, like when women would make blankets like from wool, they would pee on the the wool to make colors or something weird?
SPEAKER_00I am going to pick that up now. I'm curious about that. Wow. Go ahead, Rick. Okay. Um the other one, uh, gizzards cure diarrhea. Speaking of constipation here.
SPEAKER_03Gizzards.
SPEAKER_00We absolutely don't recommend this treatment for treatment in on infants' diarrhea. We do find it fascinating and would love to know what inspired its creation. Apparently, nobody knows. But they put uh boiling water to make tea, and they boil chicken gizzards, let it dry, and then give one teaspoon to your baby every half hour. Do not do this, people. That's disgusting. Don't do that.
SPEAKER_01Uh Amy is right. In medieval times, urine is indeed used to change or fix the colors of cloth. Really? Listen to this. So uh Man, did it smell back then? Certain natural dyes like purple, which is my favorite color almost from uh lichens, were soaked in urine to extract color. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Told you.
SPEAKER_01Now I don't like purple. Right. Does that change everything? Poor Vikings fans. No, now every time I see purple, I'm gonna take a lot of urine and urine. That's outstanding.
SPEAKER_03Better than constipation.
SPEAKER_00If you have a sore throat, don't wash your laundry, keep your dirty socks. What? Apparently dirty socks cure sore throats. From Merry Old England. Oh, shocker there. Hello. Spring. Some mighty strange sore throat remedies, one in which was actually used widely until the 20th century called for wrapping your own dirty socks around your throat. Somebody had to test that, right?
SPEAKER_03But why would that even be? Like how? I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Since sore throats are so contagious and in the olden days a signal of potentially lethal diseases, dirty socks were used to keep loved ones as far away as possible from patients. Oh they use it as a warning.
SPEAKER_03Can that cure your sore throat?
SPEAKER_00See, I was reading this. I'm like, why does it so and then tobacco cures earaches? They thought. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Now, but you know what though, you you you do cure your earaches, but it costs you your lungs and your life. But I mean, then your ears don't hurt anymore.
SPEAKER_03I don't think smoking it is what they were trying to do, but that's like in that movie of Fifty Million Ways to Die in the West.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You need a donkey kicking.
SPEAKER_00No, here, yeah, the first the first gross sounding trick was to stuff the painful ear with a moist wad of chewing tobacco after somebody had chewed on it, or even to blow tobacco smoke into the ear.
SPEAKER_01That that we've come a long way. You know, the good old days weren't all that great. I don't see why.
SPEAKER_03Should we not go back to that? Which people want to do right now? Like, let's not.
SPEAKER_01I think the only thing that might have been better was the food. I think that's right. When they had real sugar back in like when they used to boil stones. Okay, that's not the food I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_00Here's a different thing than using the um constipation medication, whatever, for memory loss. Chocolate garlic.
SPEAKER_03There's chocolate garlic chocolate garlic.
SPEAKER_00Here's memory loss. Instead of the uh what is the last one?
SPEAKER_03Where do you get chocolate garlic from?
SPEAKER_00An old tradition memory booster calls for dipping garlic cloves in chocolate and eating one to three of them a day. In theory, we think this makes tons of sense. The garlic and the chocolate are loaded with gills with the kind of antioxidants that protect brain cells. Alright. But in practice, no, probably taste like shit.
SPEAKER_03Can we just eat the chocolate?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03They're not really good.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Dark chocolate's got some. Rattlesnakes cures rheumatism. You let a rattlesnake bite you, the poison can sometimes take away the pain. Well, yeah, because that hurts like hell. You're dying from other things. Stupid. I mean, people are really I mean, but if you're you know, if you were in pain trying to get it, that sounds like a great idea. Yeah, why don't we use this?
SPEAKER_03Here, eggs I got some rattlesnakes.
SPEAKER_00Eggs cures eggs cure bruises. What? I don't know the history too. Oh here, it says Chinese treatment is probably more fun to read about than use. You need two things a U.S. silver coin, dimes, quarters, and half dollars, minted before 1964. And when they were ready, and a peeled, freshly hard-boiled egg. Slip the coin vertically all the way into the egg until its top edge is even with the top of the egg. Place the warm, not hot, egg on the bruise and leave it there for 30 minutes. This is said to immediately erase the discoloration. Volunteers, anyone?
SPEAKER_03I think that's some BS.
SPEAKER_01All we gotta do is uh slap Amy across the eye and then we'll put some eggs on them.
SPEAKER_03Double dog dairy. Double dog dairy. And then Brian shoot us.
SPEAKER_00Also, turpentine cures shingles, apparently.
SPEAKER_03It sure does. That's why we get shingles vaccines and people.
SPEAKER_00Anybody ever uh have a cold sore? You want to admit to it?
SPEAKER_03You get the herp.
SPEAKER_00The herp. Uh don't reach for don't reach for any medical cures. Dig in your own ear. Earwax cures cold sores.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Gosh, darn.
SPEAKER_00I think you could that's we anybody hungry?
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_02Lunch!
SPEAKER_01And that's about all I have for it today. Have you guys ever had to bail anybody out of jail? Like have you ever had to post bail for anybody?
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_03Have you?
SPEAKER_01No. I work with some people at work that have been doing that, and I've been getting up. I've been getting arrested or bailing people out? Yeah, and I went to the hospital and I rode with the I had to take the elevator up, and I rolled the elevator with the elevator repair guy. Like I think it was his fixing run, and I didn't want to be I didn't want to be in there. And apparently he had just gotten out of jail as well, and this was his thing. I've been running into these are your co-workers? Yeah, I've been running into these people left and right. And I didn't know. And uh he said he was gonna uh yeah, he was talking about adult band camp and he was gonna do that. And I'm like that's one of my things, too. There is an adult band camp, but I didn't That's not quite the same, I don't think. Oh no. Because everybody's married now, so there's not like skulldugery going on.
SPEAKER_03I'm pretty sure that's oh it's probably different. Yeah, it won't matter.
SPEAKER_01No, that's different.
SPEAKER_03We live such clean lives.
SPEAKER_01I know. Right. All right, everybody. Thank you so much. We had fun, we'll do another one. We've talked to you next time. Next time on the show. Oh, crap.
SPEAKER_03Way to go.
SPEAKER_01Shut up.