Dam Beaver Podcast
News and History commentary. Plugs for local comedy and theater, in the Beaver Dam WI Area.
Dam Beaver Podcast
Episode 56
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Find the smell. Amy starts off strong. Rick came back, damn!
Okay, now we're now we're moving on.
SPEAKER_01I'd think after so many episodes you'd figure that out.
SPEAKER_03You know, I don't want to hear it. It's only it's only been fifty-six. It's fifty six just settle down. Here we go.
SPEAKER_01Crazy.
SPEAKER_00Wow.
SPEAKER_01Right?
SPEAKER_00Feels like yesterday.
SPEAKER_01Four score and seven years ago. That's the wrong one.
SPEAKER_03Hello there, everybody. We're back. Oh we're back. We're back for more. Yeah. I can't uh can't believe it. 56. What's that? Do I got my thing on? No, do you need this up? Oh no. We're good? No, we'll be good. I might put it up next time. It's good bundled in front of you.
SPEAKER_01Wonderful.
SPEAKER_03So Rick's back. Ricky Rick!
SPEAKER_01Football begins. We're so glad you're back. Oh, football.
SPEAKER_03Picks are gonna start again. Uh next week we're gonna start our own picks. All right. We'll start our own picks next week.
SPEAKER_00Sounds good.
SPEAKER_03I'm not ready either. Amy and I had an important uh show. You guys did good.
SPEAKER_00I don't think anybody listened. I listened. I was like, oh man, you guys were very professional. We might have a couple. It was working pretty good. It was pretty good. I had to listen to it afterwards because I was busy.
SPEAKER_03Uh why weren't you here last week? Tell everybody.
SPEAKER_00Well, let me just ask you. Do you guys tell you how much uh water comes out of a sprinkler head? How much water comes out of a sprinkler head? Oh, I've heard this one.
SPEAKER_03How much water?
SPEAKER_0015 to 40 gallons per minute. Okay. So ours are rated about you know 30, 25. That's what I don't understand.
SPEAKER_03So it was running?
SPEAKER_00Okay. So I was getting ready to leave work last week. Was it Wednesday?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, Wednesday.
SPEAKER_00I got a call. I got a call to say, hey, Rick, can you run over? Somebody's saying there's some water leaking, and I'm like, oh. So you're thinking leak. Leak water. No problem. Flex seal spray. Usually, yeah, just tighten that bolt, you're fine, you're good. Sure. I come walking in and there's water coming out of the front door, and I'm like, huh. Well shit, that's not good. No. So then I walk in, and here's a sprinkler had just chugging water out of the ceiling. Just so it had a lot of things.
SPEAKER_01And that whole system is like pressurized. Oh, it's pressurized, baby.
SPEAKER_00Hey, but no fire, right? No fire, which is good. So it's a lesson, ladies and gentlemen. Do not grab two pool sticks and pretend to play swords with your buddy. Oh, come on. And then stab in the house. So this was a guy's house? I mean, kid, he's 17. So come on. And then you know, accidentally stabbed the uh sprinkler head with the pool stick. And then say, oh no. And then broke off the I'm sure the little So by the time I got there, it was you know, seven, eight minutes had passed. So multiply that by 30 gallons per minute. So there was standing water, water coming out the patio door, water coming out the front door. Oh my lord. Water creeping into the bedrooms. Oh my lord. They got uh renters insurance.
SPEAKER_01Uh they did.
SPEAKER_00Thank God. Well, yeah, they're not in there right now because the walls are, you know, traversed, of course. Yeah. Renter's insurance is a good deal. Renter's insurance is good. You know, emergency situations. I must say, I gotta pat myself on the back because if you get into an emergency situation, you get trained for stuff being, you know, that you hope you never have to use. Right. So here I am thinking, oh my god. I hope I never have to defend your black man belt. Yes.
SPEAKER_03Because I'm a karate man.
SPEAKER_00With like snapping your fingers, because you can do that. Yeah. So here I am thinking, how do I shut the water off? I don't remember. That was four years ago.
SPEAKER_03Right, right, right.
SPEAKER_00I remembered.
SPEAKER_03Really?
SPEAKER_00I remembered. Nice.
SPEAKER_03I know where my shutoff valve is.
SPEAKER_00I had to run to the other side.
SPEAKER_01That's nasty. No one wants to hear about it.
SPEAKER_03No, no. I mean, no, I wasn't. Does everything turn to filth? No, I really didn't know where my personal. Yes, it does. Apparently. I forgot.
SPEAKER_01If we want people to listen, yes. True.
SPEAKER_03Right. We've lost them and we've gained them.
SPEAKER_00That's correct. I want to hear about that water shutoff valve again.
SPEAKER_03So that's that's where you were.
SPEAKER_00I remembered I got to shut the water off.
SPEAKER_03Well, this is a week of plumbing things because let me tell you what happened on Thursday the day after. We uh we have two dogs, two cats, uh, and we have a uh a game that we usually play when Kelly and I come home. And that game is where is that smell coming from? Now, usually it's a Buster. Buster. It's taken us four years to train Buster to poop outside, right? So and he's he's just starting to do it very good. He's about 70-30 pooping outside. So it's pretty good. So he's almost giving us 25, you know, 20% a year to get, you know, he's not gonna do it right away like we train him to. So usually it's Buster. And it's usually in it's usually in three spots. Okay, it's it's and they're all on hard floors, so it's not bad. This time couldn't find the smell. So Kelly goes on a quest uh as I'm getting ready to uh go to work and she goes downstairs, nothing in the front area, and she goes to the back area, and she finds a little crack in our sewer pump, and there's about oh, I would say two inches of standing water down there. So we're like, you gotta be kidding me. It's an iron pipe. How the hell does those things do that? And the guy says, Well, it's iron and cement. If it goes to the cement, sometimes there's a crack. So there's a crack there, pumped it up. So the guy comes in and we called what probably must have been five, six plumbers, and none of these kids called us back.
SPEAKER_01Kids?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. That well, it's usually it's the kids that don't call us back. Yeah, they want the money, but they don't want to do the work with the money. So my father-in-law said, Hey, why don't you call Earl? He was he's a plumber back when I was at school. I'm like, You mean like 56 years ago? Yeah, there's no way this guy is in business. Sure enough, uh, Earl's plumbing in the phone book, very good plumber. Kelly calls him. He comes over that day, he takes a look at it, he says, I can't fix it on Sunday, but I'll fix it on Monday. Here's what you do. And so he comes in. I've been so for every three hours I'm pumping water because we have a something down there to make sure none of it, you know, goes bad. So I go down there, make a trip down there. I said, It's my um I'll go down and I plug it the thing in and it pumps it out and it clears up the water, and then I go back upstairs and we do whatever. So he came down, he says, Here's what I'm gonna do. He comes down and takes, he says, This is how he talks. He said, Here's what I'm gonna do. We're gonna cut right here, and we're gonna cut it right there. Just gonna show PBC five and flick that thing right up, right away. Didn't give us the time that he was gonna be here. I didn't want to ask. Didn't give us a call because I was just so happy to see that. I just mesmerized. Yeah. So uh so we're prepping. I go to Kelly, I go, I got we don't I don't know what time he's gonna be here on Monday. I have no idea. Why didn't you ask? I didn't I was afraid of him. I was afraid to ask him to give him a key. He was coming and he's fixing sewer. I'm just glad that he shows up. So Kelly goes, All right, so she gets up early. He comes in the morning, probably an hour after Kelly gets up, fixes it by 12, heads out, takes the you know, the crappy piece of pipe with him. Yeah, Kelly cleans it up, everything's all fixed. We have the best sewer pipe in the neighborhood, right? It is fantastic PVC pipe. I have no more worries. Everybody's in the house, we're doing whatever we want. Open tub and showering.
SPEAKER_01Open tubing.
SPEAKER_03We're doing we're doing all everything, everything works great. Oh, nice job, Earl's Plumbing.
SPEAKER_01Thank you, Earl's Plumbing.
SPEAKER_03So if you need a job done, call Earl. Just not right now, because it didn't want to get a bunch of calls from Earl. You know, for the 47 uh listeners.
SPEAKER_00Call it once.
SPEAKER_03You think we have 47 listeners?
SPEAKER_01Maybe football and baseball and stuff. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00We had 40 frames. You don't think so? Yeah, we probably want to hear our expert input. That's right.
SPEAKER_03But you know what's not taking a back burner?
SPEAKER_01The revolution! I'm behind. We're still doing the revolution.
SPEAKER_03The revolution. I told you we would end it by fall. That's what I said.
SPEAKER_01That's what you said?
SPEAKER_03That's what I said.
SPEAKER_01It's September 1st. It's fall.
SPEAKER_03We're coming to the end. And we took some weeks off.
SPEAKER_01Am I give me a break.
SPEAKER_03All right. So uh just a quick update, Rick. Uh Benedict Arnold finally turned. Uh Washington uh tried to go to his house. Uh he went to his house and he wasn't there. Uh the lady of the house who was a loyalist, that was his wife, 18-year-old wife, uh, who is kind of a loyalist, friends of lawyers, uh, played dumb and cried, and he fell for it because why? He's a sexist. So remember, these are the faults of our forefathers. All right. A, he's a sexist. Two, he doesn't like slaves. He has a slave for a friend, though, who's his guy. I I forgot his name. I'll have to go back and take a look. But he's very important. So Jerry. So $20,000, uh, 20,000 pounds. Back then uh was the price, but he did it mostly because of his dignity. But he took the money and he also has a uh uh a seating now there. Uh the uh Iroquois, uh, remember uh previously uh Mohawk chief Joseph Brandt, who was taken from his family and raised, uh, you know, Indian family brought to Britain. Uh he uh is the lead, he led the uh the violent uh Iroquois raids and on the rebels, all right. Uh Joseph Brandt is said to uh we join uh we had to join the cause because somebody was gonna win and he picked the British instead of the the other, the the Patriots. Now, Revenge is demanded. Uh if the idea was, though, to destroy the Indian resistance, it didn't work uh because now they have nothing to live for. So they went and started burning stuff saying, oh, well, this will stop them. And then they're like, we don't have anything. So now we're gonna go fight. Uh uh so Congress uh recommended a court martial. Arnold's integrity was called into question. Uh he had filmed by the way, 20,000 pounds uh is uh 2.8 million dollars nowadays. Back then. Yeah, with inflation. I mean it's a lot of money. But some people said he did it for the money. I don't think so. I think he did it because his dignity was pretty trampled on. All right, here we are. December. Oh, let's see. December 1779. As the fourth year of the revolution comes to an end, uh it's the war is in a stalemate, all right? Many battles have been won and lost, but neither side has taken an advantage, really. The British general Henry Clinton, remember, he's the fourth one, has a has a firm grip on New York City, but the King's forces have been unable to crush the rebellion and they're pissed because George Washington Army continues to hold them in check. Now camped 30 miles away west of New York City, the Americans are bracing themselves for another long winter. 13,000 strong, they have settled into their quarters at Morristown, New Jersey. It has been two years since the Continental Army survived the legendary conditions at Valley Forge. Valley Forge gets all the press, but listen to this. But this winter will surpass all others. It was just awful. The winter encampment in Morristown was a lot harder than the encampment in Valley Forge. Uh, but Morristown is really dire straits. Valley Forge was a disaster because of the lack of supplies and the bungling, all right? Morristown uh was it was the elements. It was said to be the worst winter in the history of North America. Wow. And there were 26 snowstorms. Oh my god. Six uh uh blizzard proportions. It was so cold in the month of January than all but two days the temperature was below freezing. All right. Wow. This is truly the winter that tries men's souls, it says. At Valley Forge, it took four weeks to build uh army uh cabins, but in Morristown, blizzard conditions slow the progress, and the construction takes two months. Oh my god, that's almost winter's over. Uh many soldiers are forced to sleep under canvas tents or or lie in the snow. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00Oh lovely. What? So they froze to death.
SPEAKER_03Compounding the soldiers' suffering is in fact, uh, once again, food is in critical short supply because no one's giving them supplies. The countryside is covered with snow, but really the areas of Morristown just do not have enough food to supply the army. Uh, soldiers' diaries say this uh we were absolutely literally starved. I do solemnly swear that I did not put a morsel in my mouth for four days and as many nights, except a little black piece of birch bark which I gnawed off a stick of wood. I saw several uh of the men roast their old shoes and eat them.
SPEAKER_02Private Joseph Plum Martin says Isn't that completely unacceptable?
SPEAKER_03Absolutely it is yet another low point in Washington's career. His desk piles high with letters from generals pleading for supplies. Washington petitions Congress for AIDS, but to no avail. Inflation has soared to uh one hundredth of a percent, and the American money was practically worthless. Uh they have yeah, and they had a hard time with taxes on the states because they weren't paying them. Many people uh to pay their taxes, Congress went nearly bankrupt. And with no food and few supplies, Washington faces the very real possibility of being forced to dissolve this army. Now, have you noticed something in this whole thing? Have you noticed where the hell's the South? Where's Georgia?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03All right. Charleston, we're gonna talk about these sons of bitches. They've been enjoying themselves, okay?
SPEAKER_01It's nice down there.
SPEAKER_03Oh, Charleston, South Carolina, 800 miles to the south. It is a very different winter. Four years into the war, the South is mostly untouched. All right, here in the bustling hub of commerce and trade, life goes on undisturbed. The wealthy partake heartily in the pleasantries of social life. Dances and dinners fill the evening, a far cry from the hardships faced by an army fighting for their liberty, right? Charleston has been threatened only once by the British, a poorly executed attack in 1776 that was easily fended off. From the looks of it, Charleston is hardly part of a nation at war. All that is about to change. Across the ocean in England, a new strategy for the war is about to be unleashed. In the halls of Parliament, it has been a year scarred by an angry debate. Here we go. You ready? This is where we're hitting them. The British national debt has soared to over 160 million pounds. Due in large part to the prolonged war, and there is no end in sight. I don't think anyone is more surprised than the British that they haven't won yet. They're a very wealthy nation and have the most professionally trained army, and they have the most powerful navy in the world. And why isn't this damn thing over with? There should have been an easy victory, and there are some questions as to about what to do next. The figureheads of British leadership, like the Prime Minister Lord North, are frequent targets in the daily papers. He is held responsible for a costly and an increasingly unpopular war. A war where the stakes have been raised by the entrance of their arch enemy, France now. Remember France is uh into the fight uh on the American side. All right. Surrendering the American independence is one thing, and yet uh something has to be dealt with by allowing France to emerge to conflict. Now, the whole hand is it's completely unpredictable what's gonna happen for the governing elite. They're really pissed that that France is in this. Now, under the gun to turn to a course of the fight, British policymakers unveil a dramatic new direction for the war. It becomes known as the Southern Strategia. The British look at the map of the colonies and they think, well, we know Boston is just a hotbed. We're not gonna go there. Uh that's the first place that we lost. Uh, and these centers in New York temporarily in Philadelphia, but the countryside is too unpredictable. So the British hope that the South to establish a foothold in North America that could be a permanent foothold. And here uh is the wealthiest part of the 13 colonies. Right here are the major source of food export, goods, tobacco, and grain. Remember, our country was founded on tobacco and now it's gone. Yeah. The grain and rice, indigo, and then naval stores, right? Got it? So all of these come from the southern colonies. And the key to the British Southern strategy is the belief that all their efforts will be supported by the loyalists still down there. Remember, there's still some people that are kind of hidden. But the Americans uh, you know, still loyal to the ground. So the British believe that they will be received as liberators and that thousands of loyalist militia will pour out of their cause. All right. Now, by moving south to an area where they had hoped they could finally restore British authority and put loyalists in charge, all that remains now is putting their plan into action. So December 26, 1779, British headquarters, New York City, with his orders from the British ministry now in hand, Commander-in-Chief Henry Clinton makes preparations to carry them out. Now, this is Clinton's first offensive action. The last three guys that came before him thought that they had it made. So this is kind of a big deal. Uh the seizure of the southern states doesn't work. Uh, he's gonna be in big trouble again. So now he has all this pressure on him. Uh, and the general's neck is pretty much on the line. His success or failure could determine the outcome of the war, and no one knows better than Clinton. All right, so this is the most important hour the British ever knew, and if we lose it, we shall never see such another British uh general like myself again, he says, because he'll probably be dead. So the British leave New York City with more than a hundred ships. So they're on they're on sea now. Why not? They can they don't have to travel, they can rest and wreck. Uh uh with a force of 8,700, roughly one-third of the British army is in America and their destination, they're heading to Charleston now. News that the British fleet uh has set sail reaches Washington in Morristown, New Jersey, but the commander is powerless. All right, accrual winter, the March South is no option for a starving army. He's gotta let the British go. Charleston will have to fend for itself. All right. This is good. January 1780, the British have launched their armada to New York City. They left Charleston, second 800 miles south of the winter camp. So here's the guy in charge down there. His name is Benjamin Lincoln. He is the new commander of the Continental Southern Army. All right, now listen to this. He's such a weird guy. All right, and assuming the major was dispatched south three months earlier by Washington and is now commanded nearly 2,400 soldiers. He's a very unlikely choice for commander. You ready? Benjamin Lincoln is one of the most he has he's kind of a paradox. All right. Lincoln is uh very rotund, he's huge, he's not in shape, all right. Uh he suffers from sleep apnea. Oh, Jesus. Now listen to this. Oftentimes he's falling asleep at the most important opportune moments. He and then he wakes up uh and he does not possess any kind of battlefield charisma at all that one would want in a combat commander. However, he is a masterful compromiser and a great politician in large measure. And this is probably why he's in charge down there. So Lincoln's task and foremost is to defend Charleston. Now, the city is known as the Jew of the South, clustered. Now Charleston is clustered on a low sandy spit of land down there. Charleston sits on a peninsula at the junction of Ashley and Cooper Rivers. It is the fourth largest city in America with 12,000 residents. Its deep water harbor makes Charleston the most important port for rice, indigo, and naval stores. And they leave, uh they head, they they head to the West Indies with this stuff. All right, so uh the terrain is very foreboding because there's marsh and stuff and malaria in the swamps, so they don't go.
SPEAKER_00So lovely.
SPEAKER_03January 10th, 1780. Benjamin Lincoln receives a dispatch from spotters along the coast. So they just spotted him. A massive British fortress is approaching, is approaching, but this command barely underway. Lincoln will have to face down England's army. Lincoln immediately positions South Carolina government to recruit and raise more troops. Request denied.
SPEAKER_00What?
SPEAKER_03It is not the first time uh that the uh Carolinans uh have frustrated the Patriot cause. Many view the colony's citizens as reluctant revolutionaries. They voted for independence, but only under tremendous pressure, all right? And on the floor of the Continental Congress, South Carolina's uh seeming unwillingness to raise troops has ignited heated debates. All right, so they're getting pissed. But in this case, losing the coastal port of Charleston to the British would be a great economic blow. So Congress promises General Lincoln 3,000 additional troops from Virginia and Carolina with a march of 500 miles ahead of them.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03So they're never gonna get there.
SPEAKER_01No. Well, and by the time they get there, people will die or get hurt or whatever. Star Jesus.
SPEAKER_03All right, you ready? So with his back against the wall, the New Englander proposes a last-ditch idea to South Carolina government to arm 1,500 black slaves again and turn them into soldiers. For the love of God, turn them into soldiers. They refuse because they don't want slaves to have guns and turn on the people that own them. So they say no, and it pisses me off. So South the request is denied as. Totally impractical. Okay. So with reinforcements, listen to this. So with reinforcements hundreds of miles away and no black recruits, the defense of Charleston is looking more and more futile. And at that point, Lincoln's choice was either to get the army out of the city and give up or stay in the city in the best of all possible worlds. And Lincoln should have left Charleston and gone to the countryside and just come and attack. So, but the general's sense of honor and duty prevents him from abandoning his post and retreat. However, a wise uh would open up to uh they would consider him accusations of cowardice, which he can't accept. Under uh demand they're under supplied, Lincoln will make a stand at Charleston, and he communicates his plight to the commander-in-chief of General Washington. Now, this is what he says to Washington in his letter. We remain unsupported by troops, unsupplied, and what adds to the unhappiness is the little prospect that our affairs will be speedily uh done uh and will be done in with and will have to go to a better channel. I don't know what that channel part means. General Benjamin Lincoln. But from New Jersey, there is little Washington can do. He can't march his uh army south, they're starving, and they have no shoes. So you know what I mean? So they can't walk. Yeah, right. Sad, but true, they ate him all. So here we go. You ready? So February 11th, 1780. He's got no choice. They march up to the Stone O River. The British Army has set a new course for independence, taking flight to the southern colonies. They got 8,700 soldiers, roughly one-third of the British Army, under the command of General Clinton. So the general, uh George Lincoln, uh so prepares for his defense in the only way he knows how. He rolls up his sleeves, takes a nap, and grabs a shovel.
SPEAKER_01Oh.
SPEAKER_03And that's where we're ending it today. What?
SPEAKER_00Cliff Hang. Wait to see what he does. With a shovel.
SPEAKER_03With a shovel. So he can hit Charles South Carolina in the face with it.
SPEAKER_02Dig in a trench.
SPEAKER_01Dig in the trench.
SPEAKER_03Sons of bitches don't want to know.
SPEAKER_01How are we a country? It's crazy. It's remarkable. Because France helps us help us out. We we vive La France. Vive la France. Vive La France. That's all you have to know for French. Yeah. Amy totally rocks. Woo! You lie.
SPEAKER_03Well, it's true. Amy's got news.
SPEAKER_01Well, this first one kind of might just wrap it up.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_03Wow. Starting with your endorse.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. I saw this. I almost like seriously. Man uses adhesive instead of condom and dies.
SPEAKER_00Oh no, no, no, no. What?
SPEAKER_01Yes. In a bizarre turn of events.
SPEAKER_00Oh, man.
SPEAKER_01Indian man died after using epoxy resin in lieu of a condom during intercourse with his former fiance.
SPEAKER_00Did he jump?
SPEAKER_01Family wants police to conduct a thorough investigation.
SPEAKER_03Um yeah, because to stand in a lineup.
SPEAKER_01Well, apparently. Oh my god. So they're at this hotel and apparently they they like doing drugs.
SPEAKER_02And that had nothing to do with involved.
SPEAKER_01There's lots of drugs involved. And apparently they just happen to have epoxy in their pocket because they like to huff epoxy smells. Yeah. So anyway, they uh wanted to hook up at their little thing and do the little rant rant. And uh they didn't have a condom. And they decided to get creative, and they decided to apply the adhesive on his private parts to ensure that she does not get pregnant.
SPEAKER_03By what? Gluing it shut?
SPEAKER_01I get pouring it over his wiener head, and uh I don't know, I guess.
SPEAKER_03Well, we just lost my mom as a listener big bottle.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, they uh anyway, so yeah.
SPEAKER_03Maybe he should have used gorilla glue. That would have been better.
SPEAKER_01I mean Yeah. So they were under influence of drug cocktail, they decided to use the epoxy, and yeah, and now he was found dead unconscious near the apartment complex.
SPEAKER_03Well, probably died of a urinary tract infection if he can't go.
SPEAKER_01Well, you're where does it go if you can't go out? Right, right. There's only so many holes.
SPEAKER_03Leave them all open for the love of gods.
SPEAKER_01And now, of course, his family is blaming the ex-fiance for their son's death and have asked police to further investigate.
SPEAKER_00If he wanted to play, what are you gonna do? Well, that's the thing. Who's gonna get money? What's the point? Yeah, right, yeah. They don't have anything. I want to see that. I want to see that whole court trial.
SPEAKER_01I want to see the autopsy.
SPEAKER_00I want to see the argument.
SPEAKER_01It's like I wondered, did it make it stay stiff the whole time? Or it just was plugging the hole or culprit's name is Willie.
SPEAKER_00It was killed. Like kept its hard shape, and then everything when it shrivels, you know. I mean, it just and it's still I don't know. There's too many pictures in my head. Yeah, I don't want it, I want those pictures out.
SPEAKER_03And that's and then did she get it back.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. See, that's what I said. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01What do you got? And I'm assuming it touched her. Like um Yeah, she's fine. Did it plug that hole as well? Like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_03I don't know. It's gotta go somewhere.
SPEAKER_01Fucked up.
SPEAKER_03All right.
SPEAKER_01Okay, next.
SPEAKER_03That's the end.
SPEAKER_01I could wrap it up with that. Everyone's exhausted already.
SPEAKER_03Can't wait for the other ones.
SPEAKER_01The other ones are pretty mellow. The other ones are mellow.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01So this next one, um female octopuses throw things at male harassers.
SPEAKER_03Oh. So it's defending itself?
SPEAKER_01Yes. Scientists have discovered that female octopuses will throw objects at males when they're being feel that they're being harassed by them. Damn right.
SPEAKER_03Rick, have you ever heard two octopuses kissed before?
SPEAKER_00Uh no. No, I haven't either. Uh is that octopi?
SPEAKER_03That'd be really hard. Speaking of hard, that last story.
SPEAKER_01We got an idea to make it stay hard. Yeah. Drug-free.
SPEAKER_02Dip it in blue. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Anyway, when an annoying male enters the scene, a female octopus will gather projectiles like shells or silk using her tentacles before launching the debris with a siphon of water.
SPEAKER_03And a rolling pin. Damn.
SPEAKER_01I guess.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Get the fuck away from me. Damn away, I'm done. Your stupid eight tentacles of shit. Don't want it. And of course, the University of Sydney in Australia.
SPEAKER_03Of course. We're all thinking You know, I should do a history of Australia. Because that place is just a wicked meme. Right?
SPEAKER_01There's all kinds of cool shit.
SPEAKER_03All right. I'm going to have to do a history of them to find out where they came from.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yep.
SPEAKER_03All right.
SPEAKER_01So anyway, yeah. They launch objects and sediment several body lengths away.
SPEAKER_03Wow. Yeah. In the water?
SPEAKER_01Not just a little, like through the water.
SPEAKER_00Jet propulsion.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_03Wow. What it is just ink and get out.
SPEAKER_01No. They throw shit at you. Don't touch me. All right.
SPEAKER_03Make it easy. She didn't mean anything to me, I swear.
SPEAKER_01It's just a squid. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03I make love to you. I have sex with her.
SPEAKER_01But my other seven hands are doing other seven. Keep track of those. One's got epoxy, one's got some cocaine.
SPEAKER_03Now it makes you think of uh uh the uh the uh specter.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well in Ireland.
SPEAKER_03Hi. In Ireland, there's the weather.
SPEAKER_00There's a walrus.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he likes to climb on top of people's boats and capsize them. It's like a big video.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's fabulous.
SPEAKER_01So, to correct this issue, there you go. Okay, that's what we say.
SPEAKER_03You have to stick to the story. We get we get to have fun.
SPEAKER_01Animal rescuers in Ireland said a walrus has spent the last few weeks cruising along the country's coast. Will soon have a floating couch to stop him from sinking boats. The walrus dub woolly first spotted off the coast, blah blah blah. He's been spotted resting in parked boats along the coast and has sank at least two of the vessels. Because he's huge. Like in the video, he is a ginormous walrus. Wow. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So it's like the jaws of the area.
SPEAKER_01And he just kind of blobs on there and he sinks the shit. So they're gonna now get him a pontoon that has three raised sides, making it resemble a floating couch. So he can just hang out, float on a pontoon.
SPEAKER_00He just wants to hang out. Is that what he's a big job of the thing? Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, he just wants to hang out. No, he just wants to hang out and like it's so big, and then he tips it aside, and then the water comes out and he stinks the boat.
SPEAKER_04I don't want a friend to play with it. Well, you won't play with my friend.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, come on up here. Oh, check it out!
SPEAKER_04Don't die. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_01Flower's overboard. Yeah. That's the perfect. So they have built a pontoon so he can just climb up on it and like a big couch. Just hang out.
SPEAKER_03Job of the hut. Yep.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Over in Ireland, they come up with the funniest stuff.
unknownRight?
SPEAKER_01Everyone else would be like, kill that shit. No.
SPEAKER_03You keep the Irish don't kill the spot.
SPEAKER_01I think it's awesome. So that is a good story after the whole penis thing.
SPEAKER_03Yes. That was a good thing. Please, yeah, please recall it.
SPEAKER_01I love it. Anyway.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01This is girls, too. Okay. Oh sweet.
unknownAh.
SPEAKER_02Hit me.
SPEAKER_01Anyway, um, you know, going to an airport baggage claim, you sit there and watch your trying to get all your cramp and luggage in the line of people. Anyway, in Seattle, people were waiting for their luggage, and uh on the luggage carousel, a big blob of raw chicken was on the belt. Yes. The chicken had apparently been in a cooler in a checked bag, but it came free of its container at some point and ended up as a mass of raw meat on a baggage claim carousel.
SPEAKER_03It was just crossing the road, and this is what happened.
SPEAKER_01Why do we have frozen raw chicken in a checked bag? How did that get away from the bigger?
SPEAKER_03Well his name is Tyson, so he probably was trying to say that's pretty good.
SPEAKER_01That's trying to take my chicken too. But like you can't take shit like dude.
SPEAKER_00No. No, you wouldn't think so.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I still think too much.
SPEAKER_03One of the funniest scenes in television history is still from WKRP. And he says, God is my witness. I thought turkeys could fly. Yes. It's still I I I love it.
SPEAKER_01They can fly just short distances.
SPEAKER_03They can, yeah. I mean certainly not.
SPEAKER_00I love it.
SPEAKER_01It was just they sleep up in trees.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. And wild turkey. Can you can you eat wild turkey?
SPEAKER_01Oh, hell yeah.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah? Wild turkey surprise from Bugs Bunny? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Turkey season. No, it's duck season now.
SPEAKER_03Chicken.
SPEAKER_01Duck season started yesterday.
SPEAKER_03Did it? Is it?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Oh. Teal ducks and other. Are you a hunter? No.
SPEAKER_00My son is. Oh, nice. He'll shoot some. Cool.
SPEAKER_01He'll shoot some.
SPEAKER_00I don't shoot anything.
SPEAKER_01Duck. So anyway, it was gross. And I can't imagine raw chicken on the belt. Touching your bag. It's disgusting.
SPEAKER_03So if a duck gets a boner, will it drag weeds with it? Like if it's I don't know where it is. As long as we're if we got penises in the door.
SPEAKER_01I don't think they have penises because they lay eggs.
SPEAKER_00It's twisted, right? It's curved. Um, you know, I think it's curved. Yeah. Never turned one over. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I think it's curved. It's not. That's my theory. Until next week.
SPEAKER_01That's disgusting. Are you gonna look up curved duck penises?
SPEAKER_03I already look like I have an awkward boner.
SPEAKER_01My face always has that appearance of that where your water candle is or not.
SPEAKER_03I know we didn't want to talk about boners no more, but I just kept going back and I can't stop. Boner, boner, boner. Go ahead, Amy.
SPEAKER_01Boner, boner. Nice.
SPEAKER_03Anyway, did you ever I had a buddy named Boner that we called boner? Oh what? His name was his nickname was boner. Um for a reason. Because he hasn't had his last name was B-O-H-N-E-N. So we just called him boner. Oh, well. I think it must have been Boner or Boner, something like that.
SPEAKER_00It wasn't from a class accident or anything like that.
SPEAKER_03They called him Boner. Cooler. Even in you know, in high school, he's tackled by number left wing Tommy Boner, you know.
SPEAKER_02Jesus balls.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that would almost be horrible.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Okay, I'm done. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_01You sure?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I'm happy.
SPEAKER_01And I'm gonna end this on a fun thing.
SPEAKER_03Here we go.
SPEAKER_01All right. So over in England, a group of British animal lovers set up a rope bridge they erected over a busy road has proven to be popular means of Does everything have to go so gross?
SPEAKER_03We're trying to segment, I don't care. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Anyway, they uh put up this big rope bridge.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And it has proven a popular means of travel for the squirrels to keep them out of the highway. I've heard of these, yeah. Yes.
SPEAKER_03Although having earth breaks.
SPEAKER_01There's a little video of the little squirrels running on the little bridge across the thing.
SPEAKER_03Once you look up there, Tommy. See, the squirrel is broken over there.
SPEAKER_01Right? And now, yeah. That's fantastic. They're not squished on the highway.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's something very nice. I have a squirrel going across the square.
SPEAKER_01They've raised a thousand dollars and to get a bunch of ropes in different places on the highway.
SPEAKER_03Right, and then you have to have a master knotman. I don't know if that is not someone who makes the knots for the bridge. I'm just saying.
SPEAKER_01Is your is your thing in a knot?
SPEAKER_03No. Oh. But I think ducks do have the curly member. I think they do. I think it curls. They curl it in the back. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Why don't you Google that, Dan? Because it like tucks it between sock amongst yourself. Duck ducks. Oh my god. So what uh Amy, what do you think the uh shape of uh, let's see, what other animals? It is forced uh other animals.
SPEAKER_03Some birds develop longer penises than others, uh almost nothing at all. The male ducks has a uh in in a corkscrew position. Yeah, some of them have corkscrew penises. And it screws in there, you know. A lucky little girl. Yeah, maybe they have to well, where do they get the sperm from then? What came first? The sperm or the boner. Hello, people.
SPEAKER_00So is she corkscrewed too?
SPEAKER_03I don't know. I can't be.
SPEAKER_01I think the boner straightens it out. It must.
SPEAKER_03Maybe maybe that's a good theory.
SPEAKER_01And it just corkscrews back up so he can fly and it doesn't mess with his aerodynamics when he flies.
SPEAKER_03We got too many questions. We have to stop. We don't have enough people. We need a research person, like just to do research. Okay, we're gonna end Amy's segment.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I kept it short and sweet.
SPEAKER_03What are you saying? You say mine was too long? Is that what you're saying?
SPEAKER_01I I don't think yours is too long.
SPEAKER_02Speaking of which sports.
SPEAKER_03That's all. There we go.
SPEAKER_01Rick is back.
SPEAKER_03Hi.
SPEAKER_01Thank God.
SPEAKER_00Huh. Um golf. Oh, there goes my first one. PGA is nice. All right. The next so does any of you really know how Major League Soccer works? Because I don't. I know.
SPEAKER_03Yes, I had it explained to me by uh La Febre.
SPEAKER_00You did. I got it.
SPEAKER_03I don't remember it, but there's i it it's pretty complicated.
SPEAKER_00So there was an MLS Major League Soccer like championship not long ago.
SPEAKER_03So I'm thinking the season's over. But there's like four sets of things. You know what I mean? So if you lose You can go on to different things, it's long. Doesn't it get long? I don't know. And I know people who listen care about so.
SPEAKER_00As I was looking it up, the here this is this is for Lafibs. You can you can or LaFibre, sorry, you can uh correct me later, but okay. So Major League Soccer announced that the 2021 MLS season will be begin on Saturday, April 3rd. So teams permitted to begin preseason training February 22nd. Six weeks prior to MLS is back opening weekend. Now key dates to remember. MLS. Oh, we'll remember. Yeah, to remember the well, Mark is listening, right? Oh, sure. Um so there was uh an important thing February 22nd. MLS preseason training begins. April 3rd through the 4th, MLS is back. Opening weekend was late August. Here we go. MLS Heineken Rivalry Week. Well, I didn't know what I still don't understand what that is. Late summer MLS All-Star Game. Well, clearly we know what the All-Star game is. You get your best players from each team and you get them together. Game presented by Target Leagues Cup and Campion Campionos? Campionus Cup. Campion Campionus Cop.
SPEAKER_03Thanks for doing your research.
SPEAKER_00Campions? Capones. Maybe it's Capones.
SPEAKER_01Cup your Enus Cup?
SPEAKER_00Campions. Anyway, November 7th is MLS Decision Day.
SPEAKER_03Decision Day.
SPEAKER_01Decision Day. Is that like picking teams or what the hell?
SPEAKER_00Like draft day for us? Maybe, yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah. Could be. And then November 19th, the Audi 2021 MLS Cup playoff begins. And then December 11th, 2021, the MLS Cup. So How many cups? I don't get it. I don't know. Yeah, that's what I'm getting. I'm like, uh what?
SPEAKER_03It's best nice.
SPEAKER_00Because there's four sessions and then each have a. There's like, there's like you know, there's multi-levels of vote.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but like the super duper players, like there's a there's like there's I don't know what they're called, but there's like an elite group that are that are the top, top, top. And then there's regular, like there's there's people that aren't the top, top, top.
SPEAKER_00Like the Milwaukee wave or something.
SPEAKER_03But not even that. Like they're really good. See, if you lose your thing, like if you're at the bottom, yeah, you go down. So you get a lose. And the winner goes up. Yeah, there's some kind of thing. It's happening on uh Ted Lasso right now. Yeah. It's hard to explain because there's so many soccer teams they had to do something. It's not like NFL. Yeah, it's not like it's not like NFL where you know you got to do it.
SPEAKER_00So basically, sorry, Mark Lefaber, but I I don't have any information other than that. I'm confused.
SPEAKER_03That's good. We have to watch Ted Lasso.
SPEAKER_00That's MLS.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Um and that's done.
SPEAKER_00So there's another thing. Okay, so we were talking about the Olympics. The Olympics were great, fun. Hey, we did really well. America did pretty good. We didn't win all the gold, but that's all right. Now, something even more exquisitely fun, the Paralympics is going on, right? Yes. Yes. Now you'd think, man, this is great. What can happen? What can go wrong?
SPEAKER_04What could go wrong?
SPEAKER_00Don't do it, man. Don't do it, man.
SPEAKER_01We're losing more of listeners.
SPEAKER_00This isn't like horrible. It's kind of the the contestants' fault. So a shot putter was disqualified and stripped of the gold Paralympics medal after arriving three minutes late for the competition. Oh, I thought you were gonna do some other safe. Why was he late? Well, see, he says, uh, I apologize to all Malaysians. Thank you for supporting me um about the decision. Uh I will be fighting this, contesting this, but it wasn't my fault. I was late. So a Malaysian shot puller shot putter was disqualified after arriving late for his competition during the Tokyo Paralympics. On uh Tuesday, Mohammed Zayed Zokfli, competed under competed under protest in the F-20 class in the city national stadium. While Zalef Zo while he, one of three athletes who appeared to be late, was competing in the event, officials were examining why the men did not report for roll call in the call room on time. So although he placed first and won gold, officials determined that his disqualification was valid due to arriving late to the roll call room, according to World Para Athletics, which issued this statement. The three athletes from Australia, Ecuador, and Malaysia who competed in the Shopwood F-20 final under protest had their appeal rejected by the World Paraathletic Jury of Appeal. The decision was based on World Paraathletic Rule 5.5, failure to report to the call room, which states that in case athletes are not present in the call room at the relevant time, as published in the call room schedule, they will be shown in the results as did not start DNS.
SPEAKER_03And we don't care if the elevator didn't work. And we don't care if the elevator. What the hell? Come on.
SPEAKER_00Right. Like really. So they walked in three minutes late. We're not talking about the elevator.
SPEAKER_01Like their life isn't shitty, like hard enough.
SPEAKER_00Right. I mean, these guys, you know, a lot of stuff. They could not. They would not. And this dude, um, I I forgot where it was, but he launched this shot put a mile. I mean, it's not a mile. I think it was like 68 feet. Literal Dan. It was horrible. Don't follow my poor guy. Poor guy. Yeah. Come on. Didn't get his gold, but he said, you know, he apologized and everything. Um, everything else is going good in the Paralympics, other than that.
unknownGood.
SPEAKER_00Can you imagine? That's crap. That is crap. I think, come on, give the game.
SPEAKER_01You weren't late to the uh like event. You're late to just going appoint like going to the holding area. Yeah. Right.
SPEAKER_00Like really. Everybody was still there when they showed up, but they said, no, no, you have to be here by like 3 57. If you come here at 4 01, you're late. And you're just like telling my grandmother. Then why did they let them compete? Exactly. Well, you're allowed to compete, but you it won't count.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. It's like telling my grandmother with a walker that we're not going to have her party unless she shows up on time. Right. You know what I mean? I mean, right.
SPEAKER_02And you can only go to the bathroom once. Yeah. Like, okay.
SPEAKER_00Yes. That's ridiculous. That seems a little bit. I think that's extreme and they shouldn't.
SPEAKER_03I understand why they have to have rules to make it seem that, you know. Oh, right. But it's a low. Because unless it's worth something, it's not worth doing the Olympics, you know. So there's got to be a price on it.
SPEAKER_00If you're not there. If you're not there holding up the whole start of the actual event, okay.
SPEAKER_03But I mean you have to.
SPEAKER_00But to the roll call to stop.
SPEAKER_03Was it was he in a uh was he in a wheelchair or in a regular He was not.
SPEAKER_00I think he's actually missing a leg.
SPEAKER_03Oh, okay. So I mean he's late.
SPEAKER_00Come on. He's late. Are you kidding me? It's you know, right. It's not like you can I I'm willing to go there. I'm not going. We're not gonna do it. That's not just we're not. No, NFL, everybody's favorite. Come down, topics coming, topics coming. Cut down day, roster cuts. Teams had to get down to 53, the final teams. Now, who is the biggest name cut on cut week? Cam Newton. Cam Newton is the number one. Cam Newton uh has been released.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00There you go. Now we got goosebumps.
SPEAKER_01Now we got goosebumps National Football League.
SPEAKER_03Uh, this is not a copyright version, NFL. We're just playing this for seconds.
SPEAKER_00We're probably gonna get called, by the way. No one's listening to the case. For this nonprofit organization. Nonprofit league. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I got called by NFL attorney when I directed Lombardi, right?
SPEAKER_03Yes, you told me about it. You did in great detail. Twice. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You want a third one? No, I'm good. You could tell the phone.
SPEAKER_03Was she?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, she was really sweet. Was she hot? Um, I don't know. She was she saw me.
SPEAKER_01I know all the guys are asking. She's all thinking it.
SPEAKER_03New Yorkish. Yeah. But she was. Tell me everything about this.
SPEAKER_00The NFL's gonna sue you and close you down if you uh you know continue what you're you're gonna do. I'm like, I didn't do anything.
SPEAKER_01But isn't that a thing that you paid for the rights to?
SPEAKER_00Or yes, but you're not allowed to use any footage of any kind that's affiliated with the NFL in any way whatsoever. And that includes ancient black and white old photos from the 1900s. But I mean, isn't that before the NFL started? Yeah, well, technically, but they own, they went back and they owned everything to anything professional.
SPEAKER_03To this nonprofit organization, right?
SPEAKER_00Correct. Right now, according to her, they had sued theaters for doing exactly the same thing. So what we did was we took, I took a black and white photo of a high school, a local high school team, and uh used that as a as a picture. Sure. And uh I got a call, and we had we had an interview, a TV interview from a local TV station.
SPEAKER_03Good heavens.
SPEAKER_00So they showed that picture was on the back during the interview, and that's we just froze it. Right. It was just this high school kid. Right. Um, but the NFL thought, wait, that must be ours, and they saw that. So what this lawyer explained to me was that that picture, because it was put in a newsreel, red flagged the computer and said, NFL, something's being used. That's so how else should we have known?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, how especially in that Dodge County a little community theater thing, and I'm like, Yeah, you can you can milk us for all we're worth.
SPEAKER_0325 bucks, probably.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. So we just decided not to use any football pictures whatsoever. We use pictures of footballs and but I mean she could have pulled.
SPEAKER_03I mean, you said that that was you could take a football of your own kid and just like your dependent legitimate picture or something.
SPEAKER_00It's not from the NFL. Right. Can we go now?
SPEAKER_01Right, like and that's what I said to her.
SPEAKER_00I'm like, yeah, there's there's nothing. And she's like, well, uh, make sure that it's not because they are they are going to be watching, and they're they're certainly going to have uh, how did she say it? Representatives checking in on this. And I'm like, really? Well, hey, buy tickets. Get some concessions too. He gets loaded. I don't know. So yeah, that was that was a fun, interesting, but she was really super nice. Oh, good. Yeah, she was really cool. She even gave me tips on how to find stuff. Oh, that's oh yeah, we've had theaters do this, and and and they actually sued and shut down one theater, but but I know what they did, who they contacted to get some extra stuff. Okay, thank you. So yeah, she was cool. So yeah, Cam Newton's been cut. Don. Now, what did he do? He was the quarterback now for the uh Patriots, new Patriots. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Well, not anymore. That's not anymore.
SPEAKER_00Now Mac Jones, uh the rookie, has gotten the the go-ahead to be their uh starting quarterback. And Belichick is saying Mac Jones, once Cam Newton got injured or COVID something, Mac Jones has taken the reins and he's he's actually looked really, really damn good in the preseason. So we'll see. Rookie quarterback.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's the thing. And it's preseason. It's preseason. You're playing people's second and third strings. Right. Right. And you're not going to play.
SPEAKER_00Some starting players haven't even played. Aaron Rodgers hasn't played. None of these players are going to see it. None of our dudes has been.
SPEAKER_03What's the point of doing pregames then? To work the kinks out of the team.
SPEAKER_01Right on the team.
SPEAKER_00The best players that you can get that you wouldn't normally sign, and that likely are not going to make the team anyway, because you probably have 40 players that you know are going to be on. Right. But maybe there's 10 spots where some player can come in and say, wow, holy cow, is he a player?
SPEAKER_03So those guys are playing their hearts out, probably, so they can get a spot and make 300 grand a year or whatever. That's that amount is.
SPEAKER_00League in a league minimum 290,000, maybe.
SPEAKER_03In this non-profit, stand on the sideline.
SPEAKER_00Unless somebody gets hurt.
SPEAKER_03For 290 grand.
SPEAKER_00I'd do it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I'd do it. Hell yeah. I mean, and not it's such a good nonprofit. They do so much good for the community. They do so much good. And they hardly sell those tickets for preseason games. Yeah. You know. Yeah. That's why they added a preseason game. Three of them. I counted three.
SPEAKER_01Well, they got rid of one. They used to have four.
SPEAKER_00Right. And they want to bring a fourth one back, but now they have 17 regular season games coming up because they added.
SPEAKER_01Well, I'm playing into January now. Yeah. Oh boy.
SPEAKER_00January football is going to be real now.
SPEAKER_03The Super Bowl used to be in January, didn't it?
SPEAKER_00Right. February. February. She might be closer to March now.
SPEAKER_03All right.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00Keep working that cause, NFL. Who's yeah? Who's going to get Cam Newton? He was the biggest uh release today. Draft round status. This is funny. He was drafted first, round one, 2011. Positional athleticism. They had him as a high caliber athlete. And he was for many seasons. But man, he's one of the players I just dislike. I've never liked him that much at all.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's weird. It's like he kind of good, but then not really.
SPEAKER_00He's kind of really not that great. I don't know. You know, the only thing he was really good for was his snappy outfits. Yeah. Those little hats with a good dress on it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he's really good. And he was quick when he was younger, but yeah.
SPEAKER_00Now, you know. Now it's he I think he averaged uh a concussion every like four or five games.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that doesn't help either. It's not good. When your offensive line sucks.
SPEAKER_00So that's the uh NFL. Now I do want to share some uh 23 shocking Olympic moments from the regular Olympics. But no. We probably missed Tokyo 2020.
SPEAKER_03You picked like maybe 10. We're not gonna do it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we're we're only gonna do I'm gonna do five.
SPEAKER_03You can pick your favorites too.
SPEAKER_00They don't have to be, because some of them that are in the top five are these are all these are all top-notch, high quality.
SPEAKER_03You're gonna love Olympic moments, you say?
SPEAKER_00Yes, like throughout time? No, from this from the 2021 Olympics.
SPEAKER_03Is this gonna go back to when they were naked?
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03Well then that's chafing. Is there a tablet somewhere?
SPEAKER_00How did they stop chafing back in the Greek and have lots of hair? Uh Nurislam Sanayev bites off more than he can chew. Now, what would you think of that? If I left it by that one, so that's is that the headline?
SPEAKER_01You know uh that could go a lot of ways.
SPEAKER_03Bites off more than he can chew. Is that the eating? We don't there's no eating in the Olympics. No, there should be hot dogs. Yeah. Oh, professional eaters. So nasty.
SPEAKER_00So the semifinal of the 57 kilogram men's freestyle wrestling took a turn for the bazaar when Kazakhstan's Nurislam Sanayev sank his teeth into the bicep of Ravi Kumar Daya.
SPEAKER_01Dude, you can't bite him.
SPEAKER_00That's like an instant cancellation. Well, it should be right.
SPEAKER_03Now because he could have pinned him. Yeah. And then if he bites him, he says, hey, at least I'll just get reprimanded, but I won't get pinned.
SPEAKER_00Well, and worse worse out of that, Saneev's Mike Tyson moment, they said was born out of frustration after he had squandered. He was up, he was ahead nine to two. One point away from winning and going to the gold medal round.
SPEAKER_03In wrestling, that's a big lead.
SPEAKER_00That's a huge lead. That's game's over. Yeah, because so he squandered that lead against his Indian opponent. The Kazakhstani only needed one more point to gain a place in the gold medal match, but Daya came roaring back, winning eight points in a row when Sanyev bites uh bite came and his opponent secured the decisive pin to win the contest. So he pinned him, so he reached over and he bit him. And he was disqualified anyway.
SPEAKER_01But that's the dumbest levels. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Choppy waters and the men's triathlon. I watched this happen. Now, you may not know it now. I used to do triathlons uh 10 years ago or so. Love them. Oh, I believe it. Love them.
SPEAKER_03I I would not know to look at it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay. The Choppy Waters and the Men's Triathlon. So a blunder came. I'm sorry, a blunder camera broke. God. A blunder camera boat caused chaos at the start of the Olympic men's triathlon and could have led to far worse were it not for the agility and quick thinking of the athletes in the competition. The problem began just after the buzzer went off to signal the start of the swimming leg of the event. It quickly became apparent that a camera boat adjusting its position had inadvertently blocked off the start of the race for half of the competitors in Tokyo Bay. I was watching this and I was I was saying to Gene, I'm like, look at that boat. What is that boat doing? And it literally drove right in front of all these competitors that were about to dive in. So as the boat attempted to reverse its way out of trouble, several competitors suddenly found themselves perilously close to the vessel's churning outboard motor. Fortunately, no Olympians were harmed, and the race resumed soon after. That one was dumb. You didn't like that one?
SPEAKER_03No, no, I mean oh, dumb on his. Yeah. Keep going, man. Give me some more. Uh what about Mary Decker? Is that one in there? Mary Becker Decker? When she tripped during that running, she was like scheduled to win. She ran barefoot. Some barefoot principle.
SPEAKER_00Oh, she ran barefoot?
SPEAKER_03You remember that? That was all over the TV.
SPEAKER_00That I didn't uh I didn't get past the city. That's quite alright.
SPEAKER_03These are still better than Mary Decker. So go ahead.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Um, Australian skateboard Kieran Wooley takes out a cameraman. Actually, that was this was a kind of a cool one.
SPEAKER_03So she goes up and doesn't clean the cube and nails the camera.
SPEAKER_00They do crazy stuff. Yeah. How can you stop a skateboard? You gotta give credit with credit. Get out of the way, man. At least one cameraman was quite literally bowled over by the performance of Scarlet. Get out of the way. Just as he performed a final rail grind. While he pulled the trick off with few problems, the 17-year-old ended up losing his balance and colliding smack dab with the cameraman who was knocked to the floor and bloodied.
SPEAKER_03Well, you gotta wash it with those rail glides.
SPEAKER_00Fortunately, he was soon back on his feet, dusting himself off before giving a thumbs up to the young Olympian to assure him he was alright. Jeez, oh that didn't hurt. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03All right.
SPEAKER_00I'll leave, I'll leave with those top three for now.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, one more? Give me one more. I got one more. I got it.
SPEAKER_00Uh let's see. Dangerous cycling in the Velodrome. Did you ever watch the competitive cycling?
SPEAKER_03The indoor is that is that with the key with the circle?
SPEAKER_00Yes. And the the rails are all elevated for the the track. Weird. So um they have this uh British uh announcer that was saying, well, that was eventful. Denmark advanced to the gold medal final in the men's team pursuit. We're incredibly proud of our team and their performance over the competition. Uh however, the guy that got in our competitors' way should have been disqualified, and you're a wanker for doing so. Now that guy said this on air, apparently. He said wanker. I don't know what country that's from. Denmark's that's that's an English wanker. Denmark's Frederick Madsen lived up to his last name, Madsen. Madsen? Okay, lived up to his last name after launching into an expletive laden rant at Great Britain's Charlie Tanfield after the two cyclists collided during the final lap of the men's team pursuit.
SPEAKER_03And it's still hanging in space.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and it'll be playing forever. Oh my god. Made it worse. What made it worse was that the crash was largely down to Madsen, who had been looking down at the black tape on the track rather than what was in front of him, who failed to spot that Tanfield had dropped off from the rest of the British riders. Madsen cut a frustrated figure in the aftermath with pictures showing him standing over Tanfield.