Dam Beaver Podcast
News and History commentary. Plugs for local comedy and theater, in the Beaver Dam WI Area.
Dam Beaver Podcast
Episode 58
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Dan gets a flat. Amy has meat. Rick has Barbie trucks.
You have had plenty of time. Well, I wouldn't know you too. You have been. Well, there's been a lot going on. And we're off.
SPEAKER_01Sure we are. I'm so happy. Are you? At least someone is.
SPEAKER_03I forgot I didn't make it to the end of my thing. Shit. We are out of practice.
SPEAKER_01That's what she said. Three weeks.
SPEAKER_03People are like, God, a bunch of people dumped this to where I'm not getting into the podcast again. I'm out.
SPEAKER_02I'm pretty sure no one listens anymore. Well, they do. They must.
SPEAKER_03I think they listen more now. They probably. Yeah, I've kept you. We haven't been here. Yeah. We've been uh occupied. Yes, we're we're we're doing a show in between practices, Rick and I have our of our shady version of uh well not shady, but I mean it's just been a rough go of of uh of Death of a Salesman. One of those one of those linchpin plays that has to be seen or Brian Dennahy had played a part of it. He did a really good job. But uh I tell you, we have had issues trying to get people the uh we've had illness. We uh so this was the play again. We talked about this last night that we tried to get before COVID, right? And then COVID came and everyone was ready to go. And then COVID came, and then that was it, a year and a half later. So we're trying again. Then the original cast came back, and I'm like, oh, this should be all right. And then uh half the cast left. They were just no, we're we're out. We're too many plans and stuff. You know what I'm saying? Right. So then Rick and I we got phone calls, and then we're we're in now. And uh a couple other people got phone calls. We were springing to help out Diane because we love Diane. Diane's a good director and a good egg.
SPEAKER_04Actually, I called her, so that they didn't need to. Oh, you should be. No, I I basically begged. I had to be called. So you got a pity part, did you? Please, can I have a part?
SPEAKER_03So we got calls and now we're in. So we're good. Everything's going great. Everything's going great. And then both of our main leads get COVID symptoms. Right. COVID. And they're out. So two weeks without our two leads, and we're doing all the incidental scenes over and over and over. But Dan, we know our shit. And over again. Oh, well, I'm always I still miss one or two kinks in the world. Who's challenging? I don't know. I get too emotionally. It's just theater. Yeah, it's just theater. So uh so we do them over. So now uh everything's looking good. Then Paul Paul comes back, our lead, right? For Willie. He plays Willie, right? Everything's going good. And then uh, okay, well, when's Marie coming back? Uh she's Linda, right? I can't. Linda. Uh Linda's out forever. She can't do it because she just isn't recovering. It's not her fault. So then we're all thinking, okay, this is a sign, right? It's done. We're all we're all done. There's just no, it's so on and so forth, so close. So yesterday we're doing our over our scenes, and I'm in my head, I'm like, why are we doing this? But I'll do it and give it my 100% because Diane asked me to, because I like Diane. So we just gotta give her credit where credit's due. So I do it, I go in, and then today we get emails. What do they say, Rick? Who's doing it? We have a new uh we have a new Linda who has how many days to learn everything? Um about 14 roughly. 14 minutes, right? Something like that. 14 minutes. 14 minutes. Yes, yes. 14 minutes. Yeah. So yeah, we're only doing four shows. We're not doing the first week, we're doing just the second week. Right. You have to look on the BDAC website. So that's that's good. So she has so she's gonna have to learn everything. What's nice is all the blocking is done. We just have to tell her where to go and where to stay her lines. Right. She doesn't have to work through that. Yes. Can't sit at a desk. And uh from Rick tells me she's she's she's a pro, right? She's a pro. She's absolutely a pro. She's gonna she's gonna. I think so.
SPEAKER_04Now I'm kind of like, she got the script last night. It's probably memorized today. Yeah. I don't experience that with her.
SPEAKER_03Let's not give her that much credit.
SPEAKER_04I'll give her a lot of credit. I've seen her do some miraculous stuff. Whatever. We'll find out.
SPEAKER_03For nearly. We'll find out. Oh. All right. So then, all right, now that we've got that out of the way, let's talk about me for a minute. Hold on.
SPEAKER_02So you're done. So I haven't seen you. All right.
SPEAKER_03It's already starting. God, just where's my welcome back, Amy? It's not foo you. There you go. Oh, by the way, next time you come back, I have surprises for both of you. I'm not gonna tell you what the it is.
SPEAKER_02Six months of back pay, we have to pay.
SPEAKER_03Amy, I know you're bitter right now. And that's all right. We're gonna let that slide.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_03We're gonna let it slide. So, uh, we haven't seen each other for a little bit. I haven't told you this yet. Uh when you when you get a car, you you're told you have to know how to change a flat tire. Right. But nobody expects to change a flat tire because everyone's got all these services and whatever, and they don't change tire. So I think between this car that I have and my last car, my Kia, I don't think I changed one tire in the seven years I had it. Usually I just kind of went in and that was it. Yeah. So we go to the bell. You guys know where the bell is? Yeah. Good fish. Fish fried and good hamburgers. I go there, we I got Kelly and I go probably twice a month, something like that. And we just eat and gorge ourselves on fish. It's the best. And so we went there and it was dark one night. We were leaving, and I couldn't tell where the road was and where I saw uh the railroad uh tracks, you know, how it goes off to the right and stuff like that. And so it was very dark. So I turned onto the railroad tracks and drove right down onto the railroad tracks. And uh I tried to back up and it wouldn't work. So we we got out of that. Uh somebody luckily, some guys uh with their dates with their big truck were just itching to use all the stuff on their truck.
SPEAKER_04Oh, I got a winch for that. That's Wisconsin.
SPEAKER_03You're in a ditch, you someone will stop by and help you who really wants to test out their new stuff. Yeah, because it's not gonna happen on their truck because they got four-wheel drive and they're hiked up at the moon. And you know, they're gonna be able to drive in the winter and they're gonna be the ones carrying the snow dogs, whatever, whatever. Snow dogs over little dogs, little cars. Over little cars and shit like that. So they help us old folk out. We get out of it, and I notice I have a flat. Oh, so I we I drive across the street very slowly, and I change the tire for the first time in maybe ten years. Wow. Right? Good job, dude. I get under there, but uh Brianna is there with her boyfriend, uh, who's kind of a skinny feller, very smart. And he jumped in and helped, right? He can't really help all that much. He's not much beef on him. So I had a lot of people holding lights for me, you know, their phones, but no help. So I changed the tire. Changed the tire, right?
SPEAKER_04Okay, that's helpful.
SPEAKER_03Changed the tire. You ready? So I we got the tire changed with the spare. We went home. I went to uh I think I went to Walmart because they were priced better or something like that. Oh, yeah. Cheap tires. And I got two new tires uh for a very good price. Everything's going great. Uh driving along fine. Four weeks later, I go to do a dinner detective show in Sun Prairie at the wine bar. There's a wine bar there called uh Flavors. Flavors wine bar. Great. Great bar, yes. I've not been there, but it was I went and sounded like it's pretty classy. It's like you can go and sit down like in a like a living room style thing. Yep. It was awesome. So we did a show upstairs for for it was a baby shower in a detective party. So everyone could drink. Everyone could drink except the pregnant lady who the show was for. I don't know how that makes sense, but that's that's the way they decided to do it. Hey, we're having a ball. Hey, Katrina, you want someone? Oh, that's right. Everybody drinking for Therm.
SPEAKER_04Everybody else is having a blast.
SPEAKER_03Right. So we go to the wine bar, like, we're all done with the show. We help pack up, everybody leaves, and I go in to go to the bathroom and get out of my my outfit and I put my regular shirt. I go out to my car, I have another flat tire on the other side.
SPEAKER_04On the other side?
SPEAKER_03On the other side. I had rolled over a bottle, a wine bottle that somebody had had in the parking lot, and I didn't even see it. Oh, that's so there's a large piece of glass in the tire.
SPEAKER_04Oh shit.
SPEAKER_03No. So by the way, first tire, it took me 90 minutes to change because I didn't know what I was doing. Second tire took me 10 minutes. Really? I knew exactly what to do, I knew where everything was, and I had enough time. I went to go see the James Bond movie. Oh, is it good? It was really good. It was really good. It's a nice closer show. That guy worked his high knee up, I tell you what. Nice. Uh yeah. So yeah. So I got time to go see a movie, and then I came back. And that was great. So went to Walmart the next day. They gave me a brand new one because I had bought the uh thing on it, and that was awesome. So they swapped it up, got a brand new tire. And we didn't need to get two, you know why? Because they're practically new. They're practically new tires. I only had it for four fucking weeks, so I'm fine. Right. But I'm not better, Amy. Did you get another spare? I had another spare. Okay. To get that over there. It was the same spare, Amy. It was the same fucking spare.
SPEAKER_02That's what you're saying is get you water and get tired.
SPEAKER_03I had to drive 40 miles an hour, 30, you know, all the way home. What normally would take a 35-minute drive from Sun Prayer to because I had to drive, because I couldn't drive over 55 with the spare tire. Because you can't do that, Amy.
SPEAKER_02You know? That'd be hilarious if it just rolls down. Pops off.
SPEAKER_03There it goes. Yeah, there goes my dignity right down. And Dan's got sparks in the back.
unknownShh.
SPEAKER_03So people are passing me, you know, tractors are passing me. It was it was awful.
SPEAKER_04Old lady speed up, asshole.
SPEAKER_03So I made it and uh got another tire. So everything's going great. Wow. I get home that night, uh, sat down. Uh Kelly went to work the next day. And I had all Sunday to myself. I'm like, this is awesome. I'm gonna sit down, watch myself some TV. Got down, I had I had we watched Ted Lasso, I wanted to watch that again. I got uh see a bunch of Apple TV, so I was all excited. Sat down, turn on my TV, got my hot dogs. I usually have turkey hot dogs, you know, whatever.
SPEAKER_01Turkey hot dogs?
SPEAKER_03Those are really good. Sat down, sat down. Very good. Uh got 15 minutes to my show, I heard us and I'm like, what was that? And my TV went off. And I thought I had popped a breaker. So I went and I looked, I looked around, you know, I was frozen. The dogs were taken, they were under the covers, probably taking a shit somewhere underneath the thing because it scared the hell out of me. Pooping. Yeah. So I'm looking around and everything's working except the TV. So I went to go look and I hit the remote button and my TV wouldn't turn back on. My TV that I've had, brand new for 11 years, finally broke on me, and I'm just like, God damn. So I came upstairs. Uh, by the way, you you know how white you are when you have a spare TV that can use in place of the TV that's been broken. So we just came upstairs and I grabbed that TV, and I'm like, that's kind of that's kind of it's slightly smaller. Yeah, a little slightly smaller, but it'll do until we're rent. I had problems. Yeah, let me tell you. So that was my few weeks off there from the podcast.
SPEAKER_02Well, our TV too blew like the the HDMI thing blew, and then the speaker blew. Like all of a sudden, like in the morning at work, came home at night, and the HDMI the HDI port or whatever gone. So you can't play the PS4 and then there's no sound.
SPEAKER_03So I had to hook up my do you play those games?
SPEAKER_02Some.
SPEAKER_01Really? I Rick, do you play?
SPEAKER_04I do not. No. I had a Nintendo game.
SPEAKER_03What games do you play?
SPEAKER_04I didn't I I don't play.
SPEAKER_02I mean, not not a lot. My son mostly plays that.
SPEAKER_03So not, you know, like from another planet.
SPEAKER_02But it's fun to like crash the cars and run people over and that kind of shit.
SPEAKER_03When you're having that kind of fly off a bridge, it's awesome. That's right. You sound bitch, I'm gonna take your head. That's right. All right. So that happened.
SPEAKER_02Get the fuck out the way.
SPEAKER_03All right. So why didn't you turn Southern? Hey.
SPEAKER_00All right.
SPEAKER_03My name Amy Dick. Hi D. Everybody out the way. That'd be that'd be a call back. So that being said, this story and this story made me happy. What a couple of things. I want to make sure. What story? This is the drunk man uh who reported himself, uh who reported who was reported missing joins the search party for himself.
SPEAKER_00Did you see that? I wanted to. Yeah, you said you send me that.
SPEAKER_03I send you that one. I didn't know if you have it, you can. Oh, that's fine.
SPEAKER_02Go ahead.
SPEAKER_03I have not I have not heard that. So uh Behan Metulu, Metulu, 51, went drinking with a friend in a forest in the town of Ignore. So this is obviously not an arsenal. Uh Igno, it says Ig Ignol Northwest Turkey. Wisconsin. Oh, really? Home of the uh turkey uh sandwich. Late Tuesday, his wife reported him missing after he did not return home, and she heard he had taken walked away from his friend drunk, it says. Uh Jen, I can't read this. Gender gender army and rescue teams were called to find Matulu, who had gone to sleep in a house in the forest. Uh Turkish online news site uh T24 reported on Friday. He came across members of the search party in the morning and decided to help them find the missing person. He realized he was the focus of the search, like what, an hour in? When they finally began calling his name. Oh my god. What? After a while, they said they were looking for Beihan Matulu, T-24 quoted him as saying, I broke into a cold sweat when I heard my name.
SPEAKER_02Is that your Turkish accent? That was perfect.
SPEAKER_03That's my that is my uh very awful.
SPEAKER_04No, it wasn't bad.
SPEAKER_03It was like defensive.
SPEAKER_04A little bit of Mayville thrown in there.
SPEAKER_03I told them I was Behan uh Metulu, but they continued to search. They didn't believe him.
unknownWhat the fuck?
SPEAKER_03They didn't believe me. When the truth came out, when my friend Masut called saw me, and Matulu said he was part of the search team for more than half an hour. Jesus. I I don't that sounds like something that I would fall into, like some weird situation like that where I would be looking for a room that I'm already in or some I do stuff like that. I don't know if anyone would look for you though, Dan. Yeah, yeah. Nice. I I I I I I don't drink probably I wonder how much you gotta drink to not. Yeah, probably I'll bet. I mean Isn't that isn't there rules different with alcohol over there? Like isn't it a little bit more?
SPEAKER_02Well, they probably have like more grain alcohol like pure shit. Some sake.
SPEAKER_03So I read that and that made me happy. So anyway, I thought it should because you could relate. Yeah. I always like how they put these fake pictures in here. Like this is the picture of the guy that I'm looking at. It's probably just a getty image. Yeah, sure enough, getty image, yes, to get you looking. They've done that where they'll put pictures of women in bikinis and then I go read it and it's for uh bikinis. And it's for like cereal or something like that.
SPEAKER_01Something dumb.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. Yeah, I fall for it every time, even though I know it's gonna happen. Boys are dumb. Right. Yeah. Well we are boobs? We're not we're not dumb. We're just we just have problems focusing. So give us a break, Amy. Boobs. Right now, Long. Yes. All right, here we go. Ready, Ames?
SPEAKER_04Amy totally robbed.
SPEAKER_02Oh, we're skipping. Oh, we're not doing history. We're going to be able to do that.
SPEAKER_03I told you we're gonna talk to finish up the evolution uh when Christmas is over. So that's it.
SPEAKER_02Okay. All right. Well, um, this is just kind of a cool thing. Um, Lego. I don't know if anybody heard this.
SPEAKER_03Love Legos. I love Legos.
SPEAKER_02Love Legos, okay.
SPEAKER_03Anybody has any kids?
SPEAKER_02That's that shit hurts.
SPEAKER_03Like a stuffed on my own, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, yeah, so okay, this guy, John, goes to Target and gets this tar um Lego set for um Star Wars. $350. 3,000 pieces. Wow. Yeah. 400 page long instruction book. 400 pages. 400 pages. And you know, you fuck up one of the steps and you gotta start all over. Smash it, yeah, it's done. So he's in the middle of building it. It's um uh wanna what is it now? I'm trying to figure uh where is it? It's like the Cantina scene or something like that. Oh, the Maz Isley Cantina set at Target. Okay, so it's a huge piece, super expensive. He gets it like half built and he's missing one of the bags.
SPEAKER_04Uh in the kit? In the kit. Oh, that would be pissed.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So he's super mad.
SPEAKER_04It's like missing puzzle pieces.
SPEAKER_02And he's like, I can't take it back because half the bags are open. So he actually writes a letter handwritten letter to Lego and is like, uh, I'm missing this thing. Is there any way I can pay for like the bag that I'm missing? Blah, blah, blah. They send him a letter back and it's like, it says, Dear John, thanks for getting in touch with us, providing information. I'm also sorry you're missing the bag. Blah, blah, blah. This must be the work of Lord Vader. Fear not. I've hired Han to get the bag right out to you. Have a brick sta brick stack brick stastic day, and may the force be with you.
SPEAKER_03Well, really?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. From Lego.
SPEAKER_03Well, when you're as big as Lego, they're that's pretty cool.
SPEAKER_02But it's just, I mean, they could have pissed that off and like, yeah, sure.
SPEAKER_04But their customer service section is just fantastic.
SPEAKER_03There's a huge thing going around now where the uh they're trying to put people ahead of capital profits now. Because it used to there used to some guys said, uh, what's what is a what is a business? It's uh maximizing profits in in spite of people, but not in spite of people. That's been going on. It's like a huge seed that's been kind of planted for like in the 80s and 90s, where it's hey, it doesn't matter, we'll fire people, but we're maximizing profits for and then shareholders started winning out instead of people. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, it's all about the Almighty Book.
SPEAKER_03I was just so surprised. And because these these generations of kids that are coming up now, they're tired of getting pissed on all the time. That's why the workforce is so why work can you get yeah, stuff like that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you just all the strikes today. John Deere, Kellogg, like Dave. I didn't hear about that. Really? Oh my god, John Deere had a huge strike. Today? Today. Really? And Kellogg, yeah. All these places are striking.
SPEAKER_04So they're not making cereal today? I'd love cereal. I love cereal.
SPEAKER_02Gotta go get it because it'd be like $80 a box.
SPEAKER_04Well, do you know speaking of Legos? Do you know I know somebody who has like a little business almost of reselling old Lego sets?
SPEAKER_02Really?
SPEAKER_04Like thousands of dollars worth of Lego, old Lego sets. Also, if the ninjas use them as a weapon. Right. Sharpen those corners.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, home alone. He puts the fucking Legos under the window. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03That kid made two more movies for Pizza. There's I got a story in one of my things about why Legos hurt so much. Like there's a they're like focus play. I'll have to find that like because they're hard pieces of plastic on corners in your friggin' step. There's more to it, Amy computer.
SPEAKER_02Okay, next. Man caught trying to smuggle 350 pounds of meat over the Texas border. Come on. Yes. Yes, customs and border protection discovered the hall at 6 a.m. on August 26th. The man, a 20-year-old United States citizen carrying 320 pounds of pork bologna and 30 pounds of turkey ham in a backseat of a 2012 Honda Honda. What? How did that be a little bit more than a little bit of a big thing?
SPEAKER_04You're not getting away with that. Yeah, that was bottomed out all the time.
SPEAKER_02Right, correct. Scraping the bottom. Yep. Border agent ordered a secondary inspection due to the driver's negative declaration for carrying food. As the agent believed he could see the poorly hidden meat products. Subsequent search, found the meat, bundled 31 rolls of bologna, two rolls of ham and her blankets of meat in a double bag.
SPEAKER_04Across the Mexican border when it's like 80, 90 degrees out.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04That little car did not have air conditioning.
SPEAKER_02God, yuck. He admitted to he intended to resell the meat in the U.S.
SPEAKER_04Oh.
SPEAKER_02That'd be nasty gross. Smuggling for Mexico in the hot shit. And then they're reselling that. And then you're going to resell it.
SPEAKER_04See now, I've seen these places selling steaks out of trucks and stuff in parking lots. I am really leery about that now more than ever.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. He had a thousand dollar fine and the the border patrol took the meat.
SPEAKER_04Because they saw his meat. They noticed his meat coming across the border. Is this a story about the meat that you were talking about? Yeah, this guy is caught from his meat got caught. I don't believe it's a lot of baloney.
SPEAKER_02Wow, that's shit. No.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03How many meats was it? I wasn't listening. So yeah. Was it a bunch of sauce? Was it sauce? We already moved on. Was there any cheese? No cheese.
SPEAKER_02It was all like baloney, turkey, baloney.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but how did turkey get into all of our other meats? Have you noticed that?
SPEAKER_02Because it's well, pork is cheaper, I think. Usually they mix pork. Turkeys are all over. Turkey is probably healthier.
SPEAKER_03Man, you can just stay turkey, man. You don't have to get another one. I almost ran over three turkeys for some reason, chicken's expensive.
SPEAKER_02Chicken and ham. Chicken is expensive. Ham's so fucking expensive.
SPEAKER_03I don't know. I don't like the reformed ham. Have you seen it? Have you seen that? They call it reformed ham. I don't like killing the pig after, you know, it's come to its senses for being reformed, you know. Body trained or I don't understand poor ham. Go ahead, reformed. I'm not lost.
SPEAKER_04I'm just in a corner now. Go ahead. Anyway, next, Clint Eastwood.
SPEAKER_02At 91, Clint Eastwood throws a punch and rides a horse, and in his new movie, make my day. He's not ready to quit.
SPEAKER_03The uh, what is that? A macho cryo cry macho.
SPEAKER_04I want to see everything he does.
SPEAKER_0290 fucking one years old. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And he's I bet you it's a great movie.
SPEAKER_02Right. And just like William Shatner, 90 years old, just went to space. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Way to go, Captain Kirk. Came down.
SPEAKER_02He's 90. That is crazy shit.
SPEAKER_04I mean, why do you think a 90-year-old man got off of a spaceship and started bawling and people are calling him off for it? Dude. Dude. He's you know, 90 years old? Yeah. He just went into space, I'd be crying.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Legos.
SPEAKER_03You ready?
SPEAKER_02Back to the Legos.
SPEAKER_03Hold on.
SPEAKER_02You're so far behind.
SPEAKER_03It's a sore point. Lego bricks are made with an ultra hard plastic that can withstand a force equivalent to having a grand piano dropped on top of them. Oh. This gives them a long lifespan, but it also means that unless you weigh more than a grand piano, they will stay solid if you step on top on top of them. All the pressure created by your weight is absorbed by your foot as you walk on the exact opposite of the bed of nail strict. So yeah. So working lying up on turned spikes doesn't hurt so much because the body's weight is spread over a large number. But it's not just Lego that is to blame for the pain of standing on a brick of leg. It's also the way our feet have evolved. Our souls are one of the most sensitive parts of the body now.
SPEAKER_02There's tons of nerves in there.
SPEAKER_037,000 nerve endings in each foot. And if your feet are injured, it's a big deal. Lego was invented by the Danish master carpenter called Ole Kirk Kristan. Lego Krist.
SPEAKER_01Ole Kirk.
SPEAKER_02Nice work, Dan. I am so surprised.
SPEAKER_03We haven't gotten an email yet. Yeah, it's cubic. He offered his seven staff a prize of a bottle of homemade wine if they could come up with a name for the product. And uh so when he invented them, he didn't know what to call them. So they said suggested Lego, which is Danish uh leg goat. For that shit. Meaning play well. Oh. And Lego is Latin for I collect. Lego fax. Lego is the manufacturer of the largest manufacturer of vehicle tires. Tires. T Y R E S. I don't know what that is.
SPEAKER_04Oh, tires.
SPEAKER_02It's not tires. It's gonna take four tires and take two tires.
SPEAKER_03It takes an average of 1.71 days for the head of a Lego figure to pass through a human's digestive system.
SPEAKER_02You're not supposed to eat them. No, no.
SPEAKER_04So no, they who did this stuff.
SPEAKER_03I thought I'd tell you that because I read that somewhere when your Lego said, I'm like, I'm so excited!
SPEAKER_04That's gotta be a gummy.
SPEAKER_03How long does it take to get out? Well, the the body ain't gonna absorb it and break it down, I can tell you that.
SPEAKER_01No. Nice head from you know what did I say?
SPEAKER_03Head of cheese, ain't it? That's what she meant.
SPEAKER_04Head of cheese, that's what I meant. That's not what the guy said with his meat got crazy. Oops.
SPEAKER_03Ricky gets one.
SPEAKER_04That's a lot of meat.
SPEAKER_02Oh, no, it's all right. Just keep talking over me like normal. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_02So this one I was gonna read like several weeks ago.
SPEAKER_03It's all right, it's still pretty much.
SPEAKER_02It's about this like caveman dude, this otsy, the iceman.
SPEAKER_03Otsi, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, we know 30 years after his discovery in the Alps.
SPEAKER_00He's still dead.
SPEAKER_02He's still well, he's not frozen anymore, but yeah. Blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah. They get a heartbeat? Countless books, blah, blah, blah. Today, carefully tended.
SPEAKER_04He got his heartbeat going.
SPEAKER_02No, ew.
SPEAKER_04Oh. Well.
SPEAKER_02Negative two. This is boring. I'm not reading this one. It's too boring. Boring.
SPEAKER_04I like the Iceman was cool though. It was like a movie based on him or something like that. Oh no, that was that was a Fraser guy. No, that wasn't it.
unknownNever mind.
SPEAKER_02Okay, I have another place we can travel to. Okay. What just happened?
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02The world's longest treetop walkway.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02Let's you stroll a mile a full mile in the forest canopy of Switzerland.
SPEAKER_04Oh, that's fantastic.
SPEAKER_02The Senda Dil Dragoon treetop walkway.
SPEAKER_04Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
SPEAKER_03And the cheese.
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_03I'm sure that's not even close. So that's we're just pissing everyone off. No one's listening in. No one's listening. Right. Sorry.
SPEAKER_02Oh, God. So there are plenty of ways to enjoy Switzerland, scenic train rides, epic hikes, blah, blah, blah. But you can now do the treetop walkway, which I think is really awesome. The pictures here are just wow.
SPEAKER_04That's got to be just fantastic up there. Are we done?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I guess that's kind of.
SPEAKER_03Are you awake or what? No, I'll go. Amy, you give us give us two more. You gotta give us two more.
SPEAKER_02Okay. All right. Uh dog bone asteroid.
SPEAKER_03Oh no.
SPEAKER_02Bizarre bone-shaped asteroid is weirder than we imagined.
SPEAKER_04Oh, not a dog with the shits.
SPEAKER_02Just no gross. No. Astro astronomer ass astronomers. Are you sure? 168-mile-long asteroid, nicknamed Dogbone, on account of its unusual shape. 168-mile-long asteroid?
SPEAKER_04That's that's one hell of an asteroid.
SPEAKER_02Asteroid. The latest observations, fresh insights, blah, blah, blah. It's heading for precarious spin. It has its own moons.
SPEAKER_03It's like a spinning county.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Right.
SPEAKER_02I don't it doesn't say it's really heading anywhere.
SPEAKER_03Well, as long as it hits by the way, I'll be hanging around. Apparently, it's just whatever.
SPEAKER_02I suppose it's a thing because it looks like a dog bone. I don't know. Boring. I don't know who he writes these articles, but your research, Amy.
SPEAKER_03I don't care. Okay, what's this one?
SPEAKER_00Oh, they did this shit like weeks ago. You had you on Monday we were doing this.
SPEAKER_04Oh, that's perfect.
SPEAKER_02Oh fuck. Uh oh, this one's kind of interesting. So these people were redoing their house, construction workers renovating an historic mansion in Brittany, France. They came across an intriguing find in the wall, a metal box. Oh. Um, it has sent uh century-old gold coins. What?
SPEAKER_04Why can't I find that shit?
SPEAKER_02And they're worth like billions. Oh, I just want one. Will them be? Yeah. 239 rare gold coins. And I want to say they must have been. That's why. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03If they would have been silver, it still would have been like a hundred grand. Wow. Right. I'd still take that. There was supposed to be a point when the silver was supposed to catch up with gold. Right.
SPEAKER_02It's like before Louis XIV. Oh my god. Wow they found them. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03So can you make it going to Antiques Roadshow and finding that out? And then the guy has a heart attack and dies. How much is this worth?
SPEAKER_02It's worth a billion dollars. 13th century.
SPEAKER_04Wow.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Found them in the walls of their house.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yep. Isn't that fucking crazy?
SPEAKER_03We were going to do a history thing about uh the pirates.
SPEAKER_02I can't find shit in my walls.
SPEAKER_03Tear them all out, Amy.
SPEAKER_01Multiple holes, but guess what? There's no damn gold coins.
SPEAKER_03Just ripping out of your house. Some 10-year-old boy who knows how to rook a roto zip star. He watches the show. I'm looking for coins, Mom. Next. It'd be like a cartoon, you know, one pane, the kid sees it, and then the next pain is all these holes, and his parents come home, and then they see his kid with a little rest in peace tombstone.
SPEAKER_02All right, and this last one, um apparently there was a study done on uh monkeys.
SPEAKER_03Under monkey.
SPEAKER_02Yes. And apparently when monkeys are also under pressure, they also uh choke.
SPEAKER_04Um to death?
SPEAKER_02Under pressure. No, like they can't figure they can't figure it out. And like they freak out and kick it.
SPEAKER_03For example, Rich, if it's a if a monkey was pitching for the brewers and then he gave up a home run. Yeah, yeah. They choked. I see what choked me. I can see that why they get nervous. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I don't know why. Like, who pays for that? Who pays for these? I don't know. Let's just do a test and see if monkeys pressure choke under pressure.
SPEAKER_04Like, really? You crack under the pressure.
SPEAKER_02Okay. And now what do we do with that? Okay, great. They choke under pressure. Now what?
SPEAKER_03Now what we get a lot of monkey bites at uh work because we work with Covans, you know.
SPEAKER_02Monkey bites!
SPEAKER_03They have a lot of cage monkeys over there. Oh, seriously? Yeah, yeah. The uh macaques. What do they bite on? What are they choking on? No, thank you. They're macaques, they're macaque monkeys.
SPEAKER_04They're choking on macaques.
SPEAKER_03Have you ever seen a macaque monkey?
SPEAKER_02Swipe left. Swipe left.
SPEAKER_03I have not seen macaques. Macaq? They're an interesting monkey.
SPEAKER_02I bet they are.
SPEAKER_03About four. Have you seen?
SPEAKER_02Have you seen Dan's macaque? No. Monkey. That'd be a big heavy knife.
SPEAKER_03I think I'm pronouncing that right. Oh, I hope so. I'm sorry. It's macaque. That's macaque.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's better.
SPEAKER_03So they have a lot of those monkeys there, and we get a lot of scratches we have to do. Yeah, no kidding. But they use them for uh that kind of stuff, mostly meds, medications they're testing and stuff like that. Nothing's horrible. Oh, yeah, that's not horrible at all. But they but uh they're mean. Monkeys are mean. Are they really? You don't want a monkey. No, no, you don't.
SPEAKER_04I always thought they were cute.
SPEAKER_02I like that one uh what's the name of that movie? Uh where the monkeys throw poo at everything.
SPEAKER_00You're gonna throw poo at him, aren't you?
SPEAKER_02Yes, yes, I am.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's watch him a jigger. Oh, probably a Disney show.
SPEAKER_02It's a it might be. No, I don't think so.
SPEAKER_03The jungle book?
SPEAKER_02No, it's the one where he's the lion and the hippo and the you know uh yeah, I know the one.
SPEAKER_03The one that's got uh oh the guy from Friends on there, Dave David Schwimmer Swimmer's on there.
SPEAKER_02Oh Jada Pink and Smith is the hippo and yeah, fuck, I can't think of the name Sounds like a good one.
SPEAKER_03You didn't say anything.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh now I gotta Google it, Google it. You know what things somebody else. Uh Jada Pinkard, but I can't. Madagascar! Oh that one.
SPEAKER_02I'm going to throw poo at them, aren't you? Yes. Yes, yes, I am. Yes, I am.
SPEAKER_03Jeez. And they're sophisticated, they have like an eyepiece in them. Yes, yeah. Oh my god. They're funny. Yeah, they're they're pretty good.
SPEAKER_02I like the penguins the best, though.
SPEAKER_03Oh, everybody does. Yeah, yeah. You didn't see anything.
SPEAKER_04I have to see this movie. Well the fuck!
SPEAKER_02You haven't seen Madagascar?
SPEAKER_04I don't watch a lot of cartoons anymore.
SPEAKER_02One, two, or three?
SPEAKER_04It's not manly.
SPEAKER_02Is it three?
SPEAKER_04Rick Ramirez. Yes. Sports.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Oh, apparently you can only do suck. Do they? Do they now? So I'm glad you brought that up. All right.
SPEAKER_02I don't miss this.
SPEAKER_04First of all, uh, let's talk about some baseball. Wait, we're gonna play the whole three-minute song.
SPEAKER_03Here we go. All right.
SPEAKER_02Let's skip baseball. Everyone's sore about it.
SPEAKER_03Um, what happened? I wasn't paying attention to my kids.
SPEAKER_04Well, you know, let's let's go back to when before we stopped doing this for a little bit. Sure. The Brewers, on a tear, on a tear. Oh my God, this is the best Brewers team we've had in 50 years. Oh my God, we've got one of the best records in the entire major league baseball. Yeah, go ahead. They lost. They lost. Like they won one playoff game. One playoff game, they lost the series. They lost to the Atlanta Braves, who used to be the Milwaukee Brewers. The Braves. Milwaukee Braves. Yeah. Um, yeah, we lost to them uh three games to one. All right. And the Milwaukee Brewers fantastic season. So no more.
SPEAKER_03So all over.
SPEAKER_02But it sucks because I never liked Hayter to begin with. He always gives up a home run.
SPEAKER_04You know, in the most. Everyone's like, oh, he's celebrated.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, I'd rather have him give up a double.
SPEAKER_04He's fantastic in a regular season. No. But not no playoffs, just like I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Well, and it doesn't help when the guy, our other reliever, like punches a wall.
SPEAKER_04Celebrate the national or their division win. You're celebrating. And he punches a wall, busts his hand, can't pitch.
SPEAKER_03You know, you forget uh as talented as these guys are, they're still they're still in their 20s. They're still in their 20s. You're not gonna win that fight.
SPEAKER_02Ugh.
SPEAKER_03Wall, what do we call that in the year? Wall versus hand, right? Yeah, we always put versus.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's a nice box of fracture, is what it is.
SPEAKER_03Wall wins.
SPEAKER_04Oh my God. Stoop. Um, let's see here. NHL, somebody told me to look up when they play. So I emailed myself something and it doesn't tell me. Well, I'm glad you told us. So they start.
SPEAKER_02They start soon.
SPEAKER_04They start soon, actually, yeah, like uh within the next month, right?
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah, they play like this month. October, right?
SPEAKER_03So now hockey plays like football where they're just one game at a time, right? They're not like baseball where they hey, we're gonna go have uh play five games over in Seattle or whatever the hell, right?
SPEAKER_04They have a playoff because it's pretty bad. Multiple games, don't they?
SPEAKER_03And also they have the most smelly uh pads, I heard.
SPEAKER_04Oh, they stink.
SPEAKER_03They smell it's like the room, the stickiest room.
SPEAKER_04That's okay, though, right? I mean that means they're working hard. If you're not smelling, you aren't you aren't earning it. I remember I had a football coach in Wisconsin. Tell us more. And he used to say if you ain't smelling, you ain't working. Okay. That's all I had on that. That's the sand.
SPEAKER_02Whatever. So don't take a shower.
SPEAKER_04Um, I earned that one, didn't I? Yeah, I'm trying to find out exactly what's going on.
SPEAKER_02My kinoks are not doing well, though.
SPEAKER_04They're they're playing like it begins on October 12th.
unknownRight?
SPEAKER_04October 12th?
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04The actual season, yeah. So two days ago. Yeah. Wait a minute ball.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we got it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. I don't know.
SPEAKER_03I don't watch NHL, but we don't have a hockey team in Scani, do we?
SPEAKER_02Who should be our admirals, but they're not professional.
SPEAKER_04Oh, that doesn't count.
SPEAKER_02They're like semi-first.
SPEAKER_04Oh, the Milwaukee Admirals? Yeah. Yeah, but that's where they can fight. Yeah, I love watching that stuff. Yeah, they fight fighting. Dan, you ever go to a Milwaukee Admirals game? No. You want to see blood and guts, man? Sometimes.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Teeth flying. It's awesome.
SPEAKER_03So we saw a professional level they try not to do that so much, right?
SPEAKER_04Right. Well, they let them fight sometimes, but they really try and calm that stuff down at the professional level. Right.
SPEAKER_03Because it's a lot of money for that.
SPEAKER_04Well, and they know that a lot of kids look up to them. Yeah. A lot of people say, hey, you want to be a professional hockey player. It's car hockey, though. You don't always have to lose all your teeth, but you do. Right? I mean, most of those players got a lot of falsies.
SPEAKER_02That is correct.
SPEAKER_04But if you go to a Milwaukee Admirals game, oh, get ready to see the teeth fly. Yeah. It's at that screen. The two games I've seen, every one of them, I saw blood on the ice and teeth, white pieces flying.
SPEAKER_03And I was like, oh God, I'm hooked. You must you gotta really want to do that to deal with all that. A topic. Yeah. Oh, I think so. I think so. Yeah. That is that is rough. Yeah. That is rough.
SPEAKER_02It's so fun to watch, though. So fun.
SPEAKER_03Remember when I showed you that scene, Amy? Like the crap, the shit, the vice. I love it. And Amy's like, it's awesome. Yeah, yeah. Amy's like, I'm sorry, what were we talking about? What's happening?
SPEAKER_04Um, let's talk about some NFL. Yeah, you know who's coming. Let's just see. Who's the best team in the NFL right now?
SPEAKER_02Tampa Bay.
SPEAKER_04No. Actually, they are not considered the best. Um, the Arizona Cardinals. There's no way are considered the one because they're undefeated. Now, why are they undefeated? Thank you. They have played some very questionably low-talented teams, but like they say, uh So the Cowboys? It was a win. Hey-hoo! Can I? Um the Cowboys are four and one, and they are technically number three in the NFL right now. Why? Because they found a defense. They have a defense, and they play the Giants and the Redskins. But come on. Who's counting that? The Eagles. Yeah, they kind of suck.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. So NFL, NFC East, the Cowboys are on top. Yep. And then watch in the NFC North, Green Bay Packers.
SPEAKER_00Green Bay Packers.
SPEAKER_03Detroit Lions. Oh my God.
SPEAKER_00Now again, here we are.
SPEAKER_04The Green Bay Packers are playing who? Not so talented teams. They get to play Detroit, who right now is the first time.
SPEAKER_02Come on, do it.
SPEAKER_04Pittsburgh, who uh has Ben Rothesburger, who should have retired, who is now Pittsburgh.
SPEAKER_02We're playing the Bears this week.
SPEAKER_03Who did we lose to here? I can see what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, the Bears might be uh they they lost to a pretty bad Saints, New Orleans Saints team.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that was bad. We got our like here, the Steelers two and four. And that's the first game Aaron Rodgers played because they didn't play in the preseason.
SPEAKER_04Bad excuse for saying that you're starting an NFL team or a schedule saying, oh, we just had a fart game. No, there's something. There's something real to that.
SPEAKER_02The Packers are because our defense was shit and our offensive line is.
SPEAKER_04Because look, the Steelers, two and three, last place in their division.
SPEAKER_02We would beat the 49ers at the 49ers.
SPEAKER_0449ers at the 49ers.
SPEAKER_02Um Bengals at the Bengals in overtime.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, 49ers bought last in their division, two and three.
SPEAKER_02That was a crazy ass game.
SPEAKER_04Worst team in their division.
SPEAKER_02How many field goals did we miss? Like three.
SPEAKER_04Right. So the Packers have not beat a winning team yet. That's what I'm saying to you. So enjoy your Packers, but they're not going to be good. In the end, they're going to suck. Like they do. Why don't you buy it, Rick? Like Dallas was, yes. Yeah. Now, even better yet, better news for the Green Bay Packers, they signed the Dallas Cowboys linebacker, Jalen Smith, who we just cut last week or two weeks ago. Why? Why did we cut him? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, because we had an injury. Well, and they need it.
SPEAKER_04You guys got really poor linebackers, really poor linebackers.
SPEAKER_03So what you did was the why is that when you talk about uh Packers, your the volume of your voice goes up a little, a couple more decibels than when you talk. We're really excited about the Packers because I think they suck.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04But they got Jalen Smith, right? Jalen Smith can't cover anybody, tight ends or anything like that. So there's a reason why we got rid of him. So he's the worst linebacker that we had. Now we are giving him a boatload of money to play for the Green Bay Packers. So you're welcome, Green Bay. But good luck with that one. That's not gonna work out very well.
SPEAKER_02We'll take him.
SPEAKER_04Well, at least you're not bitter. I'm kind of happy about that.
SPEAKER_02I am hot.
SPEAKER_04Um, and then I have oh so did did you guys get that video I sent you about uh sport? Oh, that's not the video I got. Oh yeah, boobs? I'm not saying I'm I didn't get any freaking video.
SPEAKER_02How come you didn't send me a video?
SPEAKER_04Did you get I emailed it to you? Oh I didn't get no freaking email. Yeah, you didn't get an email, Dan?
SPEAKER_02Sexist jerk.
SPEAKER_04I I don't I don't think so, no. I don't think Dan got it either. Well, I can play it a little bit here, maybe. That's fine. Whatever. I found this sport. I'm I'm sure I I thought I sent it. Maybe I sent it to the wrong one. Yeah, it could be.
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_04You guys will have to check later. Sure, we'll have to check. But it's a new uh it's a sport that it's not very new, but these people get together, right? Okay to do a sport. They ride little like Barbie four-wheelers down a steep ass hill. Very fun. And they try to go like this little course. They have to turn like two corners, and if you make it to the bottom, you get like a whole bunch of like cheese or something. Cheese. It's that surprise. Yeah. This looks like something that the kids who want a tree for it would make. These adult men are flying down this hill and they are wiping out so severely that there are ambulances at the end. And this is a big thing. I think this is in in uh Switzerland.
SPEAKER_03Wasn't this on uh uh what's the name of that guy, those guys that are? Oh, now you sent me an email. Nice I thought I saw that Jack who Jackass.
SPEAKER_04Wasn't that the movie? They did that because I don't think they thought anybody else in the world would do it. But clearly with a Barbie dream.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I mean you get a four-wheel though. You can get a four-wheel Barbie, but it's all those plastic things. I'd like to make a riding vacuum cleaner. Suck everything up in my eye.
SPEAKER_02Well then you gotta have the mid job. As you're going down.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's a jackass thing.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. Yeah, that sounds like fun. I don't know. But riding down at that, do you get to bring Ken with too and all that? Probably Ken. What if they had two guys driving down at the same time? That would be something.
SPEAKER_04Oh, well, yeah, well, yeah, that's that's not true. That's what I say is that they should have, you know, what's the competition? Why are you going, you know, solo? It should be three or four people going down a slalom or whatever, and you know, who can wipe somebody else out or something like that? A race. Make it a race. Not not a race like who breaks their neck first, who gets to the bottom first.
SPEAKER_02But cheese, what's with the cheese? Why is that why is that the problem?
SPEAKER_04I guess like uh some people really, really love a certain kind of cheese.
SPEAKER_02Well, I like cheese too, but not enough to erase a Barbie mini car. I don't fucking know.
SPEAKER_04But would you?
SPEAKER_02Yes, I think that'd be hilarious. And I would totally ram Dan.
SPEAKER_03That's great. That'd be cool if you could make like a Mario Kart and just get all the faces of everybody you know. Like oh yeah. Like all the people head thing. Yeah, yeah. Like if you could put your own thing, and then there'd be me with big bald head with a hat whining about something, getting a flat tire. You know, you know, just sitting in the back while my wife is winning. Yes. Winning! You know, but uh, I don't know. It's it's it's it's been a weird week, you know. It has been a really weird week. I don't know, nothing really crazy has happened. No, Amy. Oh, we got you new happy music. Did I tell you that?
SPEAKER_01No. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Remember the happy music? This is called happy music.
SPEAKER_04It's great happy. Listen to it.
SPEAKER_03Yay! Huh?
SPEAKER_02Was I supposed to have happy shit today? Yeah. I was excited.
SPEAKER_04Hey, you had the man meat stuff, whatever the hell is.
SPEAKER_02Isn't that nice? That is nice. I don't have any happy news. Here we go. It was a beautiful day today. I love that.
SPEAKER_03I found some happy days. Here we go. Do cats, here we go. Do cats get goosebumps?
SPEAKER_01Probably.
SPEAKER_03They do! When animals such as cats, dogs, and chimpanzees get goosebumps, it's because their hairs stand on end, making them appear biggier and fluffier. Oh this is useful for a couple of reasons. One is that the straighter hairs trap a layer of insulating air against the skin, which helps them stay warm when it's cold. Do you see Winky?
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_03Okay, she's in. Another is that it makes them appear larger to potential predators, which could scare them off. Goosebumps haven't been much use to us ever since we lost most of our body hair. We still experience them though. Whenever they get cold or frightened. I think we're gonna end it there. I I will take so much disrespect in one podcast. That's kind of like three weeks' worth. Everybody, we're gonna keep this music going, and we're gonna end it right there. Everybody have a nice, a nice whatever you're gonna do. And uh hopefully you'll come out and see our play. It'll be interesting to see how it turns out myself. Death of a salesman. My name is Dan.
SPEAKER_02I'm going.
SPEAKER_03Jamie's leaving, and Rick was there with sports barely today. So thank you very much.
SPEAKER_04I almost got into elephant polo, but that'll be next time. Hello! Bye, everybody.
SPEAKER_00Bye.